****** i am soooooooooooooooo drunk! god help everyone *****

I saw fancy boy tonight wehy hey! I am very of the merry. We are eating cheese straws. I am drunk in case you didn't guess........

Tonight I took Oliver Skeet the showjumper man to Sugar Hut and he loved it. Oliver is like my older brother and I love him. he was screaming for me at the talent show and he wanted me to win (so did i). I promised him that I would show him a good time tonight and I did. I dansced on the bar and on the sofa and he loved it. he met my friend the gangster and he loved him and they swopped numbers so they are now best friends. Cheese straws are yummy.

We jus had a lock in and its very late now and I have got the hiccups. Paddy and lyla are crying outside to be let in but they need to do a wee wee first. I'm not really sure how I feel rightnow (apart from having a sore chest from hiccups) does anyone else hurt when they have hiccups????? It hurts. So I love oliver and he has had a very good time tonight. Next week we have all promised to go to his local club to party. But I might be awayt. Its all about juggling. Sorry private joke. I am very drunk and hiccupping lots. It REALLY hurts now mum. I am not interested in men anymore but I nearly pulled a girl. but I can't because I know too many people that have have shagged her so it would be too weird and I don't do weird. She's nice but I need people that are un-touched or new. I can't deal with people with baggage. I don't like baggage. I like easy and fun and nice, there's not many of those left in the world though. Fancy boy is ruined now because he is dirty and maybe has pulled not nice people. Other than that he is still good looking. Very good looking and I do look at him sometimes and think "he'd do" but he does love himself a little bit too mush and he is a bit scared also. I just want a real man in the future and not someone who is scared. That is when I want a man though cos I donb't want one now. Men are poo and tell porkie pies and they are ALL scared - apart from oliver who is a dog on heat but I love him like a brother. We have had such fun tonight and we are going to do it all again next week,

I looked ggoood tonight because I had a new outfit on and I feel good in new outfit. It was a sexy one and got the boys going but unfortunalely I wasn't interested in the boys because I think I might be a lezza. I fancy girls more than I facny boys because they are nice and soft and kind. Men just cheat and lie and shuffle and get scared. If I ever pull a man again then he has to be strong and MANLY and tough and REAL. I can't deal with pansy boys or lady boys. they are all lady boys because they are scared of little old me. I am just a little girl. I'm only 5"2 and I weigh 7stone and I am an emotional wreck of a woman who needs love and who loves love. But they don't get it. they think I am a man eater... but I only eat them in the bedroom cos apart from that I am gentel and kind and loviong and and I just want some fun to ease my boredom. When someone thinks they can ease my boredom can you please get in touch and help me out cos I need it and I am ready for it. I HATE HICCUUPS!!!!!!!!! They hurt now. I Want a man as fit as FANCY boy but as nice as gangster man and as sexual as oliver and as good a dancer as Ben and as good a kisser as the greatest kisser. And I want him to pick me up in his arms and sweep me off his feet and tell me he loves me and I want to feel butterlies in my belly and I want to dribble over his naked body. Not now but in the future cos I don't want one now cos I'm not ready I don't think. I think that what I need right now is my bed and s cuddle from a velevet bulldog. Bulldogs = better than man. Much better! they don't give you grief or ask for money or hit you. They just love you and cuddle you. Men stink and smell. I smell nice though but I am wearing men's aftershave cot it suits me - I'm not a geezer-bird I just act like one. Actually if you had seen me tonight I acted like a lady apart from when I danced on the sofa but that was cos it was fun. The other times I was a bit drunk but its ok cos its not like I have got anyone to impress or behave for in there. if I had a boyfriend (an AMZING boyfriend) then I would behave and love him more than anything but I don't so I can do what the hell I like. I love it. I maybe crave the odd bit of satisfaction but that is the very reason that ann aummers make such good toys.

Sarah is taking her lenses out cos they hurt (but not as mush as my hiccups). Hiccups really hurt AFTER A WHILE. SUDDENLY I AM TYPING IN CAPITALS AND I DON'T KNOW WHY. HANG ON...... I'm back and its better. thank god for spell chaeck really cos I reckon you woul;dn't be able to read this other wise. I love ben. Oh my god did I just say that>?! Heavens above lord have mercy. I am a wrong-un. Why why why why hwy whyw ?! my hiccups really hurt now. Can you take medicine to stop them?!

I wish Fancy boy would stop being gay cos if I just got my wicked way with him then I reckon id be ok and I could turn proper lezza. Until I get my wicked way with someone then I will continue to go mad I think. Cos the thing is with fancy boy is that he lives in my town (2 minutes from my hosue) and so its too mush tempetamtion. If I was a bit more dominant then I would kidnap him and drag him back to mine kicking and screaming and show him what for. But I think he might cry if I do that. Like I cried on the All star Talent show! But I won god damn it and I did the lift from dirty dancing..........................

I love that lift. It was the best thing ever. Even better than jumping out of a plane and better than riding my motorbike cos it took guts to do that. The others were easy and I loved them but the lift was something special. thanks ben. You rock!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry I'm so drunk and its not a good way to be. I know I will pay for this in the morning and I will be too scared to look at what I worte. I am going to bed now with sarah and paddy and lyla. Tomorrow I was going to join my brother in riding to Brans Hatch but I know I will be too weak and hungover an d shakey to do it. my hiccups are still going in full force and they are REALLY hurting now. So I ahev come to the conclusion that I dislike all men and that all I really need is fancy boy or A fancy boy - a new one. If I have someone to fancy then I am ok cos it makes my world turn around but if not then I feel like hiding under my duvet. I love fancying people. It feels good when you see them. It makes my belly flip a bit. I am going to bed now with some Jersey milk and some furry bulldogs and sarah. I met some very annoying people tonight and some very nice ones. It's ok though cos you gotta take the rough with the smooth - its just unfortunate for me that I get more rough than smooth (willys I mean). I;m joking that is gross. Sorry mum. I didn't mean it. I do get a lot of rough but I love my job and wouldn't give it up for the world and I get to dance with men like ben and get thrown around like a rag doll - my favourite thing - oh to meet a man who can do that in the bedroom too....................

I'm am reallyt really going now cos you have ahd enough. I need to pass out before I call the man I pulled the other week. he was an animal but I loved it and it was what I needed. I know that is too mush information but I don't care because everyone else is pulling all the time and in love and I'm not.

Good bye my friend,. Goodbye my lover............... mmmmmmmmn - baaaaaaaaaaaa

Mwah mwah mwah mwah

Snogs and lip-biting and sucking.......

xxxxx