Hello world!
I am irritated today. Why? Because I just am. Actually it's because I have wasted 2 hours making myself look amazing for no reason......
On the way back from Manchester, me and Sarah had a really long chat about life in general and about ourselves. Both of us have always had jobs that involve looking good (or our very best) at all times and so therefore in our spare time we make absolutely no effort whatsoever (although Sarah has taken to not making effort at work now either! Ha ha). Well, we do make effort but only when we're out on the prowl (so, in any nightclub basically). We take pleasure in getting up and going out in a manky old tracksuit with no make-up on. It's nice to not care what you look like (and nice to know that your friends don't give a toss either! We all just love each other anyway regardless of what we wear or, in my case, don't wear).
We have been like this for years. Even way before I was on TV I always had jobs that involved looking my best (stripping off for a living - had to make sure the body was up to scratch and even dancing in or hosting nightclubs I had to make a big effort with my appearance). However; during our chat on the long drive back from Manchester we decided that we should all (as a group) make more effort with our appearance generally. There are so many days that we just get up and throw on whatever scummy outfit is lying around and go out with last night's make-up still on (because it hasn't quite come off during our shower and we can't be arsed to scrub it). We said that even if we are just going to our local pub or round a friend's house; we should make an effort to look nice. We didn't mean go overboard; just at least put some fresh make-up on, make sure our hair looks nice and that we are wearing decent clothes.
So.... This morning I got a text from Sarah saying "I am at work with a full face of make-up and a new outfit on - I feel great but I was an hour late due to how mush time I spent getting ready". Later on, after I finished all the phone interviews I had to do; I started to get ready to go out (I was meeting all my mates in a bar for a coffee).
Two hours later I was sitting in the bar with a full face of make-up, my hair curled (that took an hour alone!), a brand new smart outfit on, my nails elegantly painted and my favourite perfume on my bare shoulders. I then realised that the very reason I DON'T make an effort is that there isn't any reason to. The only people in the bar were my mates (who wouldn't notice if I came out in a black sack - or if they did notice, wouldn't care).
The thought process behind our "wanting to make more effort" was that you never know who you are going to meet when you are out, who is going to see you and, if you are going to bump into that gorgeous bloke you've fancied for ten years (as ALWAYS happens in my case - in fact I've only ever seen him when I'm looking as rough as hell). The other thing we agreed on is that we would just feel better generally (not that we feel crap but everyone likes to feel extra special) if we made more effort.
So there I am sitting in the bar with all my mates. I'm dolled up to the nines and actually it just makes me feel annoyed that there aren't any fit men in Brentwood to see me at my best (or if there are, they clearly don't go to the same places as me!). I feel frustrated that I have wasted precious Mac make-up and the only person who commented on my meticulously curled hair was my mate Jenna who said "it's nice - you look kind of hippy-ish!" All I can say is THANK GOD I didn't waste a pair of my £20 false eyelashes!!!!!
I texted Sarah back to say that I too had made loads of effort (two whole hours worth of effort) but that it had all been in vain (of course, I didn't bump into the man I've fancied for ten years) and that come tomorrow, I was reverting back to being a tramp so that I didn't waste any more time, effort or mascara on sitting in an empty bar. She texted me back "Hooray for tramps!" and we have given up on the whole "making effort" thing.
I know that you should make an effort for yourself anyway (and not for what man you might meet) but it just doesn't work like that. It's not like I sit and admire myself in the mirror for hours on end (and/or would get any pleasure from doing that) so why would I make an effort for myself? Let's be honest; I make an effort for who I might meet when out. Unluckily the man I've secretly fancied for ten years has only seen me when at my absolute roughest (and after ten years is still yet to see me looking anywhere near half decent) so I would LOVE for him to see me looking great but it's just not going to happen. If I look my best; I can guarantee that I either don't see anyone at all or I just see my mates. When I'm looking rough however, I see not just the man I've fancied for ten years, but I also see the head of ITV, an ex-boyfriend I still have a little crush on AND the editor of FHM. Nice.
Of course, I say all this tongue in cheek. I mean, I DID waste all that time getting ready (to sit in a bar and do nothing except get hyper on espresso) but really it doesn't make a difference either way if I get dressed up or not. I feel good 99% of the time whether I've got my favourite false lashes on or not. Even when I am sitting in a bar with last night's black eyeliner smudged half-way down my face, a dirty old tracksuit on and un-brushed hair; I still feel good about myself.... Why? Cos you only live once; and I fully intend to make the most of it. There is so mush more to life than looking your best at all times. Looking your best (and knowing it) does give you added confidence (as we discuss on my new show "Get a Life") but when you're as big-headed as me; well, you can just throw on a granddad jumper and bobbly tracksuit bottoms and still feel amazing
Anyway, why the hell I would even THINK about making an effort in my home town in the first place is beyond me. I exhausted the place years ago; having realised all the good men were taken and the rest are, well, they're just not my type (unless I am absolutely DESPERATE for male attention, of course, and I get a bit obsessed with one for a while - which normally happens for a few weeks at a time when I haven't been around real men; until, that is, I open my eyes, engage my brain and accept the fact that he will never stop wearing loafers with no socks). Probably the only person who lives anywhere near Brentwood that I actually care about what I look like in front of is the man I've fancied for ten years but since he has only ever seen me looking rough, well, it seems a shame to ruin his perception now......
In any case, as I write this I am home alone. Paddy and Lyla are giving me lots of attention; but I'm sure it's more to do with how windy it is outside (they get scared of the wind) and not because I have the best hair ever today! In a little while my house is going to be full of people. As soon as everyone finishes work, it is standard procedure that they come straight to mine. I am feeling very excited at the moment. As you know, big things are happening for me work-wise. In a few days time I will be the director of my own company and I can't wait!!!!!
I hope you are all having a good day! All my love Jodie x x x x
P.S Quote for the day: "Isn't it the moment of most profound doubt that gives birth to new certainties? Perhaps hopelessness is the very soil that nourishes human hope; perhaps one could never find sense in life without first experiencing it's absurdity" Vaclav Havel (playwright & politician).
I've experienced it's absurdity alright. It's absurd that people can hate me with a passion without having ever met me. Although deep down they already know that they are absurd; they just need someone to take their bitterness and anger out on - glad I could be of help really! Woohoo! My life hasn't been in vain! I have served a purpose to humanity, I have been a human punch-bag and I have given sad, desperate & lonely people a reason to live!!!! Keep hating if it makes you feel better. I LOVE it!!!!! Yippeeeeeeee!
P.P.S a poem written by my mate Will on Myspace:
Jodie Marsh is like a flower;
A rose to be exact,
Or maybe like a brand new gate
That never comes unlatched.
Jodie is like an owl,
both beautiful and wise.
Or perhaps Jodie is like a ghost,
whose spirit never dies.
Jodie is like a heart that goes
Strong until the end.
Where would we be in this world
If we didn't have a Jodie Marsh to be our myspace friend.
Thank u for being u!
P.P.P.S my myspace is www.myspace.com/youwishiwasyourbird
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment