1st February 2007

How to turn a positive into a negative and the truth about Dave Boil is in Ok mag....... Oh and it's the one about wanting to be normal!

So here I am sitting at my computer again! I was supposed to go to Jord's gig tonight in Wickford but the owner asked Jord if he "could get Chantelle to come" ha ha. Erm... no. And for that, I won't be going either. Anyone that wants her in their bar (and has the cheek to ask my brother if he can get her there - what is he? Failed celeb agent now? The absolute cheek!!!!!!!) doesn't deserve to have me there!

So instead I am having a tidy up of my dressing room (I have taken a break from it to do this) and Lashes is coming over to watch a film and have some dinner. Yesterday I had to go and do some voice-overs for the TV show for Living and then today I had the day off. I love seeing all the guys from the TV show. As I've said before, we had such a laugh filming it and we got on so well that we were sad when it ended. It's nice therefore to be able to go back and do a few bits with them and see everyone.

Last night I picked Lashes up and got food at the same time. We then came back to mine and met Lauren (who kept Lashes company while I got changed & made up) and me and him then went off to meet his sister. It was her birthday and we drove all the way over to Sussex to have a drink with her and some of her friends and other members of his family. I was really dreading it. I've said before on here that I'm the worst celebrity in the world! I find it really hard meeting people and I actually don't like the attention. I was explaining it to Lashes last night on the way home. The thing is that I like the attention when I'm controlling it ie. when I'm dressed up in a ridiculous outfit in Sugar Hut and I'm dancing on a table. I know the doormen, I know the owner, I have my own table (where no one can really get near me), I feel safe in there and I can be as outrageous as I want without caring what people think. I find it very different however, having to walk into a group of new people (ie. a new boyfriend's family). I feel like I'm the "token celeb" and everyone is going to be staring at me (but for all the wrong reasons); it's out of my control and I feel almost like a circus animal that's expected to perform. I know that everyone is going to scrutinize me to see what I look like in the flesh, what I'm wearing and even what my make-up is like. It's a stupid way to feel; I know this! Annoyingly though I can't help it. So, like I said, I was dreading it (not dreading meeting his family - just dreading having everyone look at me or treat me weirdly). Joyfully everyone was lovely and his two sisters were great! From the minute I walked in they chatted to me like I was a normal person (I mean; I am a normal person but you'd be surprised how many don't talk to me normally or just want to talk about fame and/or other celebs or TV shows). I really liked both his sisters. They were the sort of girls I felt like I could talk to for hours and never get bored. They were nice and sweet and funny. On the drive to Sussex I was fairly quiet (with a knotted feeling of dread in my stomach) but on the way home I was bubbly and chatty and happy. I love it when I meet people like that. They instantly put me at ease and make me feel just like one of them; instead of making me feel like a weird performing animal or cartoon character (or just wanting to talk about my job).

I suppose people are interested in my job but to be honest, if I was a hairdresser I wouldn't want to always talk about cutting hair on nights out. It's the same with my brother; he always gets people saying "sing something!" on nights out and he gets really wound up when they won't take no for an answer. He sometimes asks them what they do for a living and if they say (for example) "I'm a bricklayer" he says "well I'm not asking you to go and lay bricks in the middle of Sugar Hut while you're getting pissed with all your mates!" I suppose that when you're in the entertainment business, people expect you to "entertain" all the time but it really is just a job (and one we happen to like doing). Luckily, like I said, last night was fab and I really enjoyed myself. I am now looking forward to seeing them all again soon!

When we got home we decided to watch Saw 2 in bed. It's a scary horror film. We had watched Saw the night before and we were ready for our next fright. Unfortunately Lashes fell asleep 5 minutes into the film and I was left wide awake and too engrossed to turn it off. He was snoring gently beside me while I had a full on horror attack on my eyeballs in the dark on my own. To be honest, it wasn't too bad. I thought the first one was scarier. When the film finished, Lyla decided she wanted to play and wouldn't go to sleep. I sat up with her quietly playing tug of war with her favourite toys and then tried soothing her, stroking and talking to her to make her go to sleep. Lashes woke up at some point, mumbled "you'll make a great mum!" and then went back to sleep. I didn't go into the fact that Lyla IS human and that I already am a mum to her and Paddy. Ha ha.

Today I had the day off and I went for lunch with Jordan. We then sat and had a coffee with La Tasca man (Steve). I suppose I had better explain why Steve and Zoe are called La Tasca man and woman. Here goes:

One night I was on a first date with a guy and Jordan was out with some mates (including Stiffy). We all met up in La Tasca for a drink and stayed there pretty mush til closing. Steve and Zoe were at the bar and somehow they thought we were giving them evils. We were all sober but they had had a few! As we went to leave Jordan thought they said something about me and turned to ask what they'd said and before we knew it all Hell had broken loose. We very nearly had a proper fight with them. Me and Zoe were screaming at each other and Jordan was rowing with Steve (it wasn't good on a first date). Afterwards we all found it highly amusing though. Zoe, in her drunkenness had come out with some gems of "abuse" towards me and Jordan that we still wet ourselves over now. She called Jordan a "four eyed *%$*" and shouted at me "look at you!" to which I replied "yeah look at me in my t-shirt!" - I was wearing combats, t-shirt and no make-up. She also said "I've seen you! You appear live at Sugar Hut every Saturday!" - we almost fell over laughing at this. I know this sounds funny now and trust me we did laugh over it for ages (and still do) but it was quite serious at the time cos it did really kick off (it nearly came to proper blows)! Anyway, we nick-named them La Tasca man and woman after that and a few weeks later they sent a bottle of champagne over to my table in the Slug and Lettuce to say sorry. I went over to thank them and the rest is history as they say. Steve and Zoe are now two of our closest mates. We see them nearly every day and we go out clubbing together. Steve is even thinking of booking Cyprus! We all love them to bits now but poor Zoe gets a ripping all the time cos wherever we are, at least one person says to her "Jodie's appearing live tonight!" She doesn't mind though (as she now finds it as funny as us) and she even says regularly "look at you!" to me when we're out. I'm not sure how "look at you!" was meant to be abusive to me but probably in her head at the time she knew what she meant! Ha ha. Bless her. She's really sweet and highly embarrassed of some of the things she said (which is why we all tease her). They're quality though and we really enjoy their company. They're both really intelligent and have lots to say for themselves (our favourite kind of people).

I suppose the reason I wanted to share that little story is to show that things like arguments and fights don't always have to end up as a negative. Because all of us were adult enough to not hold a grudge; we have made up (painlessly and easily) and are now close friends. All of us turned that negative into a positive (with the help from the manners of Steve and Zoe). We often all talk about how we could have ended up being enemies forever and giving each other daggers every time we saw each other but instead we have all made new friends out of it. In a way, it's even better than that too because we're not just mates in a friendly matey way; we all respect and admire each other too. We probably would never have met and become friends if it weren't for the argument that night and the fact that we can all put it behind us and actually end up loving each other to bits is something we can all be proud of. We are a credit to ourselves (as my mum would say). Ha ha. Seriously though, it's such a nice thing to be able to move on from that night in such a positive way. You know what it's like being me; I get people start on me all the time. People have opinions and when they're drunk they want to voice them. Most of the time I walk away but very occasionally I bite on it and have a go back. Usually I never see these people again (mostly because they do it in Sugar Hut and then get thrown out and barred cos the owner is my best mate) but certainly I have never become friends with someone who wanted a row before! I love the fact that Steve and Zoe are now close mates. They're wicked and I have sooooooo mush time for them both.

I know I'm probably waffling now but I don't care. I can't stress enough how happy I am that we all became friends. If you get into a fight on a night out, the last thing you expect is to become good mates with the person you're fighting with! What a result! You know my take on it though - everything happens for a reason........

So to end, everyone reading this should take a leaf out of Steve and Zoe's book. If you've upset someone then go and apologise. Don't be too pig-headed to say "sorry" cos you never know what might happen! You might just find your new best friend and even if you don't then the world will be a better place for having you in it. And if the woman who works for Steve is reading this then tell Steve and Zoe from me that they're wicked and I love them!

I'm going to go and meet Lashes now and get some food. Then we are going to watch a film in bed again (and probably have some long deep chats about life on other planets or something similar).

Hope you're all having a good week! Lots and lots of love

Jodie

P.S Go and buy Ok mag this week - I'm in it - it's MY story about the Boil - the truth and nothing but the truth. If he thinks he can mess with me by selling stories full of lies, he can think again! I haven't done yet.........

P.P.S quote for the day "Every man who is high up loves to think that he has done it all himself; and the wife smiles and lets it go at that" Sir James M. Barrie - love it Jimbo - spot on!

P.P.P.S for the hundredth time (cos people STILL don't believe it's me - why would I advertise a fake Myspace page on my own website?) my Myspace is www.myspace.com/youwishiwasyourbird - leave me comments, add me as a friend, enjoy my pics and videos (make sure you check the galleries too for private home videos) and don't get the hump if I don't reply cos I get thousands of messages a day!

P.P.P.P.S funny little story - I found a fan site on Myspace dedicated to me so I messaged them and said "if you put me in your top friends then I'll put you in mine - we can help promote each other" and they messaged me back saying "sorry to disappoint you but this isn't a fan site!" and then "you aren't the real Jodie Marsh!" ha ha. ok.......... Very strange though I have to say. I've checked every inch of their site and there is nothing abusive or horrible on it. The whole page is a big-up to me. It details my whole career and talks about all the charity work I do. It is advertising my book and TV shows I've done. If it's not a fan site then I don't know what is?? How odd. You would think that if they know every tiny little thing about me then they also know that my Myspace is really me? Anyone who reads my website knows I have a Myspace?! It's so bizarre. If anyone can explain to me why someone would set up a fan site and then claim it's NOT a fan site; and why they would know EVERYTHING about me (except my real Myspace address) then do tell me, I need enlightening - I'm very confused............... answers on Myspace please!