Well...... I had my first proper day off today in 2 and a half weeks! So take a guess at what I did last night?! Yep..... got drunk! I filmed all day yesterday and got home at around 8pm. Dave was with me all day at the filming and I slept on his lap in the car on the way home. As soon as we got home we showered and changed and Sarah and Vonnie turned up, followed quickly by Lauren. We then left and made it to Jord's gig by 9pm. We danced our socks off at the gig, which was wicked, and me and my mum had hysterical giggling fits cos the other Jordan Marsh (there really is another Jordan Marsh in Brentwood) came to the gig and we found it highly amusing that Jordan Marsh was watching Jordan Marsh sing! We're so childish!!!!
As soon as the gig finished we all went to Sugar Hut. I had a table booked in the VIP room and a bottle of vodka waiting (plus other friends inside who had got there before me). We walked up to the door (of course, the fact that the owner is one of my best friends and also the fact that I'm there every week so know every member of staff means that I get VIP entry and don't have to queue) and as we got to the door and were about to go in, a man near the front of the queue shouted at me "oh you think you're so f*cking special don't you!". In one of my "quite fancy an argument" moods, I turned around and said "terribly sorry but I've got a table booked", he then started ranting about how I thought I was something special and that he had been waiting in the queue for ages and even said that he too had "a table booked" (which if course he didn't!). I tried to explain to him that the owner is my best mate and he just carried on ranting at me so I said again, louder this time "I don't think you're hearing me - the OWNER IS MY BEST MATE! If your best mate owned a club then I'm sure he would look after you and give you special treatment!" He replied that "he wouldn't" (yeah right!) and then I turned my back and walked in, leaving him standing in the cold shouting abuse at me (I DID point out to him that while I was inside at my table, he would still be standing out in the cold and I think I told him to "enjoy!"). Anyway, once through the doors I said to my mates "if anyone sees him again then point him out so that I can ruin his night!" what I meant by that was that I wasn't prepared to just drop it. He had hurled abuse at me on the door and not listened when I'd tried to reason with him - I wanted to carry on the argument but it was too cold to do it there and then - plus I wanted to get a drink down my neck!
Of course, we did spot him later on in the club and me and Lauren went up to him and laughingly said "you over your tantrum now?" to which he immediately started shouting abuse again, one of his insults being "you're just a dumb slag with fake tits!" ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Of course you can imagine me and Lauren falling on the floor laughing at this. I think he felt slightly frustrated that he was trying to be nasty and yet we were hysterically laughing at him! Lauren (once over her laughing fit) said quite civilly and calmly to him "mate I think you got the wrong person - she's famous for having REAL tits!" to which he argued back "NO!!! They're fake!!!!" and kept on and on about my boobs being fake. In the end I said to him "mate if you weren't so God damn ugly I'd let you feel them to prove it!" Lost for words but still wanting desperately to insult me, he shouted "well look at your stupid hat!" and went to grab it. A few points here 1) do you honestly think that insulting a part of my outfit is going to bother or upset me? Er, no! and 2) DON'T touch me! NOT EVER! At this point the argument took a turn for the nasty - up until then me and Lauren had been loudly singing Dolly Parton's "working 9 to 5" at him in reference to him having a nine to five job (he had said I didn't have a proper job so I replied by saying "mate I don't want a nine to five like you!" which led to us bursting into the classic song! All very childish I know but once the old Smirnoff takes hold..... well, you know!) So, at the point he grabbed my hat I saw red and said in a very different tone "Don't touch me! EVER!" he then responded by knocking my hat off my head and grabbing my chin (weirdo) and I responded...well I won't tell you what I did.... Anyway - at that point Rusty jumped in, grabbed him by the shoulders, squared up to him and threatened him that if he ever touched me again he would be in lots of trouble. The bloke then ran away shaking and I have been calling Russ "my hero" ever since! Ha ha. Hilarious stuff anyway. This all happened in the corridor and Dave was in the VIP room the whole time. When I went in and told him what had happened he was really concerned and kept asking if I was alright. I was absolutely fine and laughing about it. As I said to him; if sh*t like that didn't happen then I'd have nothing to write about on my blog!
Anyway the bloke was a total twat! I genuinely found it all quite amusing and if I had wanted to, I could have had him thrown out. It was just funnier to deal with it in my own way and to sing "Nine to Five" at him at the tops of our voices. Still amazes me though that people give it to me in there considering I'm there every week! Forgetting the fact that I'm quite well known and even forgetting that fact that the owner is my best mate, you surely would assume that if I'm there every week (with a table in the VIP) then I must know all the staff and that they look after me?! Weirdos I tell thee!
So, the night panned out well aside from the bitter little man. My mate Fit Bod was in there and Jordan came down after he had packed up. By the end of the night all the girls were dancing on the stage in the main club room and "having it" to some old skool house classics! We ended up all coming back to mine. We managed to fit 8 people in Lauren's car (it's a punto!). There was me, Dave, Jord, Russ, Sarah, Vonnie, Fit Bod and Lauren. Bit of a squash but very amusing. We stayed up drinking at mine til very late and we all made food (and a huge mess in the kitchen!). Lauren dropped Fit Bod home a few hours later and everyone else stayed at mine. I woke up this morning with the vodka shakes!
Today me and Dave have been at my mum's all day. Jordan cooked dinner for everyone and then we all went into Brentwood for a drink with Russ and DJ Mark. We are now back at mine. Jordan, Russ, Mark and Dave are all in the lounge talking sh*t cos they're drunk and I am writing this. I drank water all night cos one night a week of drinking is enough for me!
Ooooh - nearly forgot - I also went and got another tattoo today! Before you get worried that I am about to turn into a circus star (tattooed woman), I actually just had my most recent one repaired. It's the one of Dave's name (did I tell you that I had his initials turned into his full name?!) Basically I went to someone different cos my normal tattooist was closed that day and it didn't take very well. The ink was really patchy and weak. Some parts were missing as well. Before we went to my mum's, we shot up to my normal tattooist and he re-did the whole thing. My hand is now raw, bleeding and stinging! It hurts enough having it done the first time around but to have it re-done on skin that hasn't even healed from the first go is worse! He didn't really wanna do it but I insisted. I've got a photo shoot soon and I just know they are going to want a picture of it so I wanted it to look good. Can't be dealing with patches and faded ink!
Jord and Mark are now having a row about music. Mark is saying that Girls Aloud are talented and Jordan has got so irate he is now jumping up and down, shouting, waving his arms about and screaming "how dare you compare Ray Charles to Girls Aloud?!"
Jordan has stomped out of the room and was about to go to the toilet but stopped and shouted at me "can you write this on your blog for the record....!"
So here goes - here is what drunk Jordan wants to say:
"ANYONE who is in a manufactured group and who doesn't write, sing or play their own instruments, is a f*cking C.....(can't type that word - far too rude!) and don't you EVER compare me to any of those C...s EVER. Even if I never get a record deal and I play in social clubs in Romford for the rest of my life; I will die smiling as long as I never get compared to those bunch of C...s"
Ok? I think you get how mush Mark has wound him up! Ha ha. Jord is now telling a story about how Paul Weller got robbed of a number one slot once because the sales figures got changed. Mark is arguing that Girls Aloud are singers and Jord is screaming "They're tits and arse! They're not singers!" They have now kissed and made up and Jord is kissing that cat and asking the cat to give him some "skin".
Anyway, I have had enough of listening to their ranting (in the time I took to write that sentence, they've started again! Mark should know by now not to ever talk about music with Jord). I am going to go in there and bang their heads together and hand out some chocolates. Jordan is shouting at the top of his voice "DO NOT WIND ME UP!" and "I'M TELLING YOU NOW - DO NOT COMPARE ARETHA FRANKLIN TO GIRLS ALOUD!" It's actually very funny to listen to, I have to say! I need a back massage so I am going to go and snuggle up to Dave and ask him nicely if he'll rub me for a little while!
I hope you all had a wicked weekend. I did! Even with the weirdo wanting an argument I still had a wicked time because quite frankly that just spiced up my night (and showed me a side to Russ I've never seen before! Very proud of the old boy! ha ha) and it gave me something to write about!
Loads and loads of love to you all peeps
I'm madly in love and very happy!
Jodie
P.S Mark is now whining "I don't know why you're so angry with me!"
P.P.S Quote for the day "Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein" - yes people - true true true!!!!!!!! Love it!
P.P.P.S Mark has just given Jord a huge sloppy kiss on the cheek!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment