Oh my goodness! What a great night!!!! Obviously I'm gutted I didn't win and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't but all that really matters is that I made it through "The Lift" in one piece (without Ben dropping me on my head out of some mad act of revenge - joke). Seriously; I'm SOOOOOOOOOO happy that we did "The Lift" and not only did it, but did it perfectly!!!! It couldn't have been better than that if we'd tried! For those three minutes I felt on top of the world. I loved that routine so mush; even though I really struggled with being elegant! I think I've been stripping (and dancing like a stripper) for too long cos my body seems to naturally want to stick my bum out and grind! Aside from struggling with the style though I really did love that dance soooooo mush and obviously it helped to have such an amazing partner. For all that's happened with the Ben situation; I have to say, he is still in my eyes one of the most amazing dancers ever and I am proud and honoured to have worked with him. It just doesn't get better than that!
I didn't want the dance to be over last night. I felt so happy up there on that stage and so amazing. I suppose the thought of going back to Sugar Hut where the men are dry and the people are sometimes rude just totally doesn't appeal after doing something like The All Star Talent Show. Hardly anybody "gets" me in Brentwood. Mostly they're either bitter and twisted because I've had the guts to do what I wanted to do in life (and been successful at it) or they just don't know how to have fun like we do (me and my mates I mean). If I get up and dance on the bar, I get dirty looks, whereas in an area of fun-loving people; they join in! While I was dancing with Ben though; all I could think was how amazing I felt, what a great partner I had and how I wished I could do it forever!
To be honest I thought that if anybody else should have won (except me of course!) then it should have been Toby or Roy because they genuinely wanted it more and personally I thought; put more heart and soul into it but hey - who knows what goes through the publics' minds - jeez they voted a possible murderer to come second in Big Brother - Bullymore. What's that all about?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please someone explain to me..... I STILL just don't get it!!!!! I reckon Ian Huntley should go on I'm a Celebrity...........
Anyway, I had the absolute time of my life up there and will never forget this as long as I live. I am definitely staying in touch with Vanessa and some of the crew from the show. I hope to stay in touch with Ben too now that we are friends again (although I'm not sure how that'll be possible since I deleted his number to stop me from insanely texting him when I was obsessed with him). One day though I might just need him when I get offered the lead in the musical Dirty Dancing! Ha ha.
So, thank you again to everyone who voted! Sorry I didn't win but I DID have the best time of my whole career! It's actually a good job I didn't win cos I think I would have had a heart attack live on stage! I'd have fainted and they'd have had to call an ambulance and cut to a pre-recorded clip or something while I was being stretchered off - I did feel unusually faint while we were standing in the line-up, but maybe that's just because I hadn't eaten all day! ;)
Speaking of not eating, it only took me 3 drinks to get absolutely hammered last night at the wrap party. They had karaoke as a treat for us all (plus free drinks of course) and I got so merry that I got up and sung not one, but two songs! I have never sung karaoke in my whole life! Until last night I have never wanted to inflict my voice upon anyone! When someone put my name down though, I though "oh sod it!" I mean, lets face it; I couldn't have made more of an arse out of myself if I tried (what with falling for someone on live TV that didn't feel the same way about me and then me having to eat humble pie for the rest of the time). I sung Michael Jackson "P.Y.T" and then Ocean Colour Scene "The Day We Caught the Train" and I sung them badly! Ha ha. Unluckily for me my publicist Jo filmed the whole two songs on my own video camera! I didn't care though. I was flying! I had done "The Lift" perfectly (which is all I cared about last night) and I was surrounded by people I have worked with hundreds of times over the last four years and all of whom I LOVE (Myleene, Vanessa Feltz, Ben from Phats and Small, the Cheeky Girls etc). Oliver Skeet was back too for the final show and he was showing me lots of love. He really wanted me to win and was gutted when I didn't. I'm taking him out tonight to wreak havoc! Toby Anstis was amazing too. I worked with him on Trust Me I'm a Holiday Rep and he's also good mates with my very good mate Pat Sharp. Me and Toby really bonded yesterday as we were both on the same level. We spent all day sharing private jokes and laughing. He hugged me at the end when I cried (cos I didn't want it to be over) and he wouldn't let me go until I had stopped snivelling! He's a diamond!
Ben from Phats and Small and Vanessa Feltz are an item! When I first heard, I was really happy for them because they are so suited. I know both of them very well and love both of them to bits. They are both genuinely nice people. They haven't got a bad word to say about anyone and they are warm and caring. I told them so last night and Ben said to me "I knew you'd be happy for us Jode cos you're such a lovely person. You know what it is? You love "love" don't you?! You just want love all around you and you want everyone to love each other!" He's so right though. I had never even thought about it before. I do love "Love" and when two lovely people that I know get together, I feel love for them. I WANT them to be in love and to be happy and I feel happy for them. It's almost like their love radiates from them and shines onto me. I do love "love"!!!!
Last night Glyn from the last Big Brother texted me to wish me luck and he told me that I am a " true star". We have arranged a date to go out partying! I'm gonna show him what partying is really all about! I can't wait! He made me laugh more this year than anyone I know (when I watched him on BB) so I am going to return the favour and show him a good time. I can't wait to meet up with him.
Today I have been out for a motorbike ride with Jordan. We rode to Southend for lunch and then came back. On the way back we passed two really fit blokes. One had combats and a tight vest on and the other had baggy ripped jeans and a tight vest. I nearly fell off the bike when we passed them. "Blimey", I thought "they don't make them like that in Brentwood!" ha ha. Maybe Southend is where it's at?! Shame they couldn't see me under my helmet cos otherwise I might have been in with a chance at taking them BOTH back to mine! Ha ha. I'm only joking (though not about them being fit), the very last thing I want is a bloke right now. In fact, I don't even want any casual "action". I'm right off the idea. Until I meet someone I fancy more than ever before and that looks at me with pure hunger and passion and lust in their eyes then I'm not interested in anything at all. Plus I've been burnt too many times recently and have got no intention of it happening again any time soon! My heart is under lock and key (in fact the key has been thrown into the Thames) and no one is getting near it again for a very long time. It needs to recover and mend itself before I even like anyone again!
My mum and dad are on their way over now. They're coming for coffee and biscuits. Sarah is on her way too and so is Oliver. Oliver and I got on really well during the show (so mush so that he bloody went over to Ben to tell him how amazing I am and that he should be with me! Still can't believe he did that! Bless him though for trying to help - even though it did just make things a thousand times more awkward!). I'm really looking forward to taking him out tonight!
Ok, as I typed that last sentence, my mum, dad and Sarah arrived all at the same time. My mum and dad have brought the biggest chocolate cake in the world and I have put some fresh coffee on to brew. We're gonna sit and watch my performance from last night (and probably all cry cos we're such a weepy emotional bunch!). Today I received two of the hugest bouquets of flowers ever! One from the crew of It's Me Or the Dog and one from lets just say "an admirer". The one from the admirer is the HUGEST bunch I've ever seen. There are 45 roses in it alone (not including all the other flowers!). I am a very lucky girl! I never expected that!
I'm off now to have a cry. Hope you all enjoyed the show as mush as I enjoyed being in it! Thanks again to Vanessa, Ben, Channel 5 and all the crew for making it special and fun and amazing! I have truly loved EVERY single second of it and am really really sad now that it's over!
I'm going to leave you with a few of the hundreds of texts I got last night because they are amazing and made me smile lots:
"Well done missy you were bloody BRILLIANT! The audience loved you and you should be proud of being in the Final, with tough competition. You were the best in my view! X x" - from my mate Ed from the TV show Brainiac
"Jodie BB did my head in. Me and Jord were going to drive to the house and smash Barrymore and Burns face's in. Freaks! You were great tonight you little dark horse you. You're not that light on your feet when you fall out of clubs shouting "Vince!" Well done sugar you should have won! X x x" - from my nutty driver Vince! Ha ha. He's not a thug really - he just felt immense anger (like all my friends) at my treatment on BB - and who can blame them really?!
"Babes HUGE hug. You were robbed! You were SO the best. So sorry! Must have been rigged! The lift was incredible. You were brilliant. You're a winner! X x x" - from Emily Dubberley (my best-selling author mate)
"F*ck me, I just did it! I NEVER vote for this kinda stuff! Good going babe. You're f*cking rocking! Well done mate!" - from Bam Bam from the Kiss 100 Breakfast show
"Well done darling. You nailed it! You looked f*cking beautiful out there! x x x" - from my ex (called Buddy)
"Well done Jodie it was FAB! X x x" - from Mark Crossley (Fulham goalkeeper)
"I just wanted to say thanks for all of your support in your articles and best of luck for tonight, hope all goes well for you! You are a true star and best of luck once again and I'll be rooting for you! I'm doing a P.A in Birmingham tonight and I'll tell them to vote for you! I can't wait to come out clubbing with you!" - from Glyn from BB7
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