Oh my God, could I be any more hungover?! It's filth. What's been going on? Hang on..... Let me try n kick start my brain..... Oh yeah, so Friday night, Dimples came down from where ever he lives and we went to Sugar Hut with Lauren, Jo O' Meara, Cindy, my bro and Max ('boy in the attic' - I'll tell you why he's known as that later). We had a usual night of carnage and me and Dimples went to stay in my new house on a duvet on the floor. Actually, when we woke up the following morning, the scene was one of total filth. A duvet on the floor, a half empty bottle of vodka (we were drinking neat, for some reason out of the lid instead of just out of the bottle itself), a dirty ashtray and streaming sunlight in the window cos I haven't yet got curtains. I've been wanting to sleep in there since I came into possession of the keys to see if it's scary or not so Dimples came prepared with a toothbrush. Great news - it's not scary. Very cosy in fact, even if we were in our going-out clothes on a duvet on the floor!
Saturday day time, that was yesterday, Dimples left to go back to his own county and Dave came to pick me up in his giant truck. He already had Sarah and Lauren with him and we got Kyle after that. We went to what is quite possibly the best fancy dress shop I've ever seen. It's in Shoreditch and has over 35,000 costumes. We nearly died and went to Heaven. I ran round making everyone try stuff on, before collapsing on the floor and laying down for an hour, while the shop assistants stepped over me telling everyone to "mind the dead body". Lauren tried on a banana suit, an apple, the mad hatter, an astronaut and Queen Elizabeth. Kyle, meanwhile tried Roman Gladiator, Robin Hood and a clown. Dave and Sarah, the lovebirds didn't try anything as they already have their costumes sorted. I managed to get some amazing vampire fangs and fake blood for my outfit, although you're not supposed to glue them onto veneers. Might have to stick them on with chewing gum....
We came back to mine and everyone left to get ready, except me and Dave, who laid on the sofa to watch the ski-jumping finals. Not the most exciting sport in the world, I must say. When we finally found the energy to move, we got ready and Jonny and Emma arrived at Marsh Manors with Lauren in tow. We were going to the Lounge in Chislehurst again (the bar that I went to the opening of the other week) and someone had booked a car to pick us up. When it arrived, it was a no-smoking car for a start (can't cope with that) and it only held 5 people in total. There were 5 of us, so with the driver, that meant 6. We begged the driver to squish us in but he wasn't having any of it. Jonny ended up driving us there AND we could smoke in his car. Happy days. Got there and the lovely owner gave us a bottle of vodka. We did a load of rude pics cos we got a bit merry. Dimples turned up to surprise me, after telling me he didn't have time to come and see me, which was lovely. I love nothing more than a guy going out of his way to surprise me. I remember when I was going out with Antony Costa and one night I was performing the Girls of FHM song at G.A.Y. I really wanted him to be there for moral support but he had a performance with Blue and Elton John so told me he couldn't make it. He even got one of Blue's backing dancers to call me and say sorry that Ant couldn't make it, but that he hopes it goes well for me. Two minutes before I was due to go on stage, the dressing room door flew open (I was practising the routine with Mylene Klass) and in he walks! He'd made the driver drive at about 150mph to get back from the concert to make it to G.A.Y in time for my performance. I was so shocked and happy that he'd done that for me. I never want flowers or presents, but go out of your way for me and I'm putty in your hands! Dimples arriving and seeking me out was definitely the bonus of the night! We left the Lounge at 11pm to come back to Brentwood to go to Sugar Hut. By the time we got there, we were well past merry (apart from Jonny as he doesn't drink) and we stormed in through the doors to take over the dance floor. Can't really remember mush else about the night, apart from I texted Dimples about 50 times, turned into the stalker bird from hell and demanded that he come to Brentwood. No go I'm afraid. He was having none of it and said he'd come over tomorrow (that's today). Still not heard from him though so think he might have just been saying that to get rid of me. Wouldn't blame him though, I was a complete drunken nightmare bird last night. Dave was laughing at me, saying "what are you like?" every two seconds, but also agreeing with me that Dimples should have got his arse to Brentwood (Dave is sitting beside me now reading this as I type it and he just said "yeah, f*cking right n' all"). It's not that I wanna throw myself into another relationship but I LOVE male company and cuddles. Dimples gives good cuddles and I was in need last night. I don't trust men anyway and the fact that he wouldn't come to Brentwood last night just made me even more wary of him. I asked him about ten times if he had a bird, to which he replied "no" every time but I wasn't convinced. I've had boys around me all my life (due to having Jordan as a brother and all of his mates live with us) and I know from how they are, what men are capable of. I've had two blokes cheat on me and I've seen with my own eyes how easy it is to do. For that reason, and also just cos I know that most men think with their willys, I'm very, very untrusting. If a guy wants to see me, then I want him to show that and make an effort. None of this "I'll see you when I got time" or "I can't see you cos I'm going down the gym". Sorry, but I'm still a normal girl at the end of the day. I know that sometimes when it's a regular guy, they try and play it cool with me cos they don't want to be all over me in case I get scared or think they're too mush (I'm not saying Dimples is doing this by the way); it's kind of a fame thing. Cos I'm famous and they're not, they want to be the one that treats me as if I'm not famous and they wanna show that it's not cos I'm famous that they wanna see me or give me special treatment. Only problem is, I see straight through it and then it backfires on them cos I don't like game-players. If a guy likes me and wants to see me, I'd rather he just said that than try and play it cool. All I want at the end of the day is bloke to be himself. No games, no messing, no bullshit. I don't even care anymore if they're impressed by my job or lifestyle. It used to bother me when I thought that was all they were after (a piece of red carpet action) but now it doesn't. If I think their intentions aren't genuine, I'll use them back and sack them off anyway so it's no big deal. Of course it would be nice to meet a normal nice guy who wasn't bothered about what I do and who genuinely likes me for me, but when you need some loving, you can't be too fussy ;
Anyway, having terrified Dimples into believing I'm not all there, we laid around for a bit in the VIP room before Jonny took us all home and me and Dave crashed out in the new house with Paddy. We were woken up this morning by my dad calling to say that Paddy needed his breakfast (Pad was fast asleep anyway so hadn't even noticed that it was past eating time) and we stumbled into the car to take him back to Nan and Grandad's (my mum and dad's). As we walked in the door, mum and dad were cooking a fry up. Touch! It was exactly what we needed right then so we ate that and are now sitting doing this. It's been another half hour and I still haven't heard from Dimples (shit, I'm obsessed). We are going to spend the rest of the day horizontal and then go out for a roast dinner a bit later on, before going to Jordan's gig. Hopefully there'll be a fit bloke there I an lay on, and not one that can only come for 2 hours then shoot home cos he's "gotta be up for work in the morning" - Dimples.
Dave snogged Sarah openly on the dance floor in Sugar Slut last night. Of course, I took pictures! They'll be up in next few days. If we can manage it later, I'm gonna get Dave to write my blog. We're feeling very weak and shaky right now so will see how we get on. Now, I'm going to lay down in the lounge beside the log fire and drink 25 pints of water to try and revive my dehydrated body.
Speak later people......
Oh yeah, and the reason Max is called "boy in the attic" is because after a year of working at Ministry of Sound with Kyle and being best friends for all of that time, I was talking about Max one night and said "you know... the boy who lives with us". Kyle had a moment of utter shock and screamed "WHAT?, what do you mean someone lives with you? I've known you a year and been your best friend all that time and I have NEVER heard of someone living with you?" (Max's parents moved to Cyprus so he moved in with us as he didn't want to go). After I got over my laughing fit, Kyle then asked "where do you keep him? Cos I've never seen anyone else living at your house. You must keep him in the attic - boy in the attic!". I have no idea how I'd never mentioned it to Kyle in all that time or why he didn't just know but somehow, he didn't have a clue that we had Max living with us. From that moment on, Max became known as "boy in the attic" and everyone now knows him as that. He's like a part of the family and is Jordan's oldest friend. We've know him since he was two. He's also otherwise known as "Mags" or "Miggers".
I just texted Dimples and it hasn't delivered. He's got to that point of switching his phone off just to not have to speak to me. Oh dear. It's official, I'm stalking him. Ha ha. You know what? I don't even care anymore. Everyone has totally the wrong impression of me anyway from what the papers and magazines have printed over the last two years. I can't get a decent bloke for love nor money. They all either want me cos I'm famous and a trophy (and/or want to be famous themselves or at the very least, show off to their mates that they've pulled me) or they get jellus of the attention I get and try to control or tame me. Neither of which is good. I'm fed up of having to prove myself to everyone I meet. I'm fed up of having to explain myself and argue that I'm nothing like what they may think. I'm fed up of people not being real with me and I'm fed up of people not knowing how to act around me. I'm a normal bloody girl!!!! Well, if you consider normal to be texting a bloke so mush that you scare him off and if you consider normal to be a person who actually believes 200% that she WILL marry Valentino Rossi. I'm as normal as is to be expected anyway from living the insane life I do. It's draining me to feel like a normal girl who wants to be loved, only to meet total freaks all the time who use me or treat me badly or get obsessed with me. That, my friends, is why I don't care if Dimples thinks I'M a freak. He's probably got totally the wrong impression of me anyway. It takes me a while to let people see the real me and all he has seen so far is that I love to go out and party, I sleep on duvets on the floor and I'm a serial texter with issues. I know I haven't painted a good picture of myself. I wish I could start all over again to be honest, cos he seems like a really lovely bloke and I keep being told by various people that know him, that he IS lovely. But, what's done is done. I've texted him to the point of driving him insane and he probably thinks I need locking up. Hey... I probably do. Oh well, if I ever hear from him again, I'll be happy and I'll definitely TRY to behave more normally. If I don't, then another one bites the dust. Plenty more fish in the sea and at the end of the day, when it all comes out in the wash, I'll know I've lived a good life and had the most fun I could possibly have. Me and Kyle will be sat on rocking chairs on a veranda of a white picket fence house, at 85 years old, surrounded by millions of dogs, smoking roll-ups and drinking neat whiskey. We'll be laughing at the times I used to wear 8 inch heels and wigs and the way Kyle used to pull trolls and wear lipgloss. Life, is good. It always has been, it always will be. It's only what you make of it anyway and if I can laugh at myself for being a stalker of fit men, even when I know it's not the correct way to behave, then I think I'm doing alright. It's better stalking and KNOWING you're stalking than stalking and not knowing you're doing it OR knowing you're doing it but not admitting to it! I'm brave enough to hold my hands up and say "My name's Jodie and I stalk". Who cares, at the end of the day? Well, perhaps Dimples does and that's why he's switched his phone off. I'm sorry for that, but otherwise, I'll keep doing what I'm doing til I meet a bloke who understands my madness. When I meet him and he doesn't EVER switch his phone off to avoid me (even if I'm screeching down it like a banshee), he'll be the one I marry. Perhaps if Dimples has to switch his phone off to avoid me and won't come to Brentwood to see me then he wasn't worth it anyway. AND, I'm supposed to be off men anyway, remember?! I knew I wouldn't be able to help myself though, not where Dimples was concerned. He's too fit and I wanna bite his dimples off his face every time I look at him. Oh well, it's not over til the fat lady sings and Jade Goody hasn't sung yet. I'll let you know what happens and in the mean time, I promise not to send any more texts to Dimps, or else Sarah has threatened to send me to Stalkers Anonymous. Eeek. Don't want that!
Baaaaaaaaah
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