You see.... The problem with Bank Holidays is that everyone goes nuts! Everyone gets all excited and people everywhere are more fun. With all this pleasure and carnage comes the issue of "letting your hair down" to the point of snogging not one, not two but three boys on one night! Ha ha ha ha ha. Saturday night Kyle came down from London, Lauren picked him up from the station and brought him to mine where Tony was lacing me into the sexiest corset in the whole world. It's the ripped denim one I've been photographed in before with a matching bit of ripped denim rag that just about passes as a skirt with a giant safety pin holding it together.
Because I knew I was going to see the most beautiful man in the world, I felt powerful before I even left the house. I'd told Kyle that loads of fit blokes were going to be out but nothing prepared us for the sight that greeted us when we walked in the club! Not only the most beautiful man in the world but all his fit mates (who are all real men ie. Unlicensed boxers, builders, brick-layers etc). They're all built like brick sh*t houses - our eyes nearly fell out of our heads!! Being that I'm trying not to get myself involved in anything too heavy, I avoided talking to the most beautiful man in the world for ages, concentrating on doing shots at the bar with all his mates instead. I've known them all for 15 years anyway so they were all happy to see me. Kyle was in his element. I've never seen him smile more than when he was surrounded by 4 giant blokes smothered in tattoos and all telling him he's too pretty to be a man! I had an absolute whale of a time. I danced with every single bloke there and got chatted up by all of them too. Eventually when I did make my way over to the MBMITW, he had the hump. Oh dear. I don't think it was anything to do with me but I don't think it helped when I asked him if he would mind if I snogged his younger brother!! I was only messing around, actually I was probably testing him too to see what his reaction would be. Bingo! He said that "yes", he would mind and asked me not to do it. I gave him a little kiss on the cheek, drunkenly told him that I loved him and that not yet, (but sometime in the future) I would give up everything for him and staggered back over to my mates. TMBMITW left soon after that and I proceeded to get on with my night by snogging the first of the three I snogged.
The first is a boy who lives up the road from me. He used to do a bit of boxing. He's all man, extremely handsome and got an amazing body. We started kissing in a darkened corner and he let me have it!! He didn't just kiss me, he bit me all over my face and neck, bit my shoulders and then tenderly kissed me all over my bare shoulders, neck and face. It was the best kiss I've had in a very very long time! It was one of those kisses where you go weak at the knees, so weak in fact that he has to hold you up while you're kissing! He was so manly and strong! At one point he had one arm around my neck (kind of like a head-lock but not - in a nice, sexy way). I was looking up at him fluttering my eyelashes and he was smiling down at me sexily. He made me feel like a little girl!!
The second one was also a boxer. He leant in for a kiss while we were talking and I thought "why not?" I kissed him back but it was only for about 5 seconds. Short but sweet. He too was very manly and rough. I loved it. I pulled away cos I didn't want the first one to see me kissing him.
The third one was an extremely handsome man I've know for a while now. He gave me, Kyle and Tony a lift home at the end of the night and I snogged him in the car. He's gorgeous and we've been flirting for ages now. I would go out with him if I weren't so scared of long-term commitment (to anyone but Fancy Boy or TMBMITW anyway). All in all I had the best night ever. I saw the love of my life (TMBMITW), I had the best kiss I've had in years and I danced my socks off. Back at mine, Tony fell asleep sitting upright on the sofa and me and Kyle went to bed dreaming of big muscle men covered in tattoos. The next morning Kyle was up before me and he went downstairs to find Tony still asleep in exactly the same position as what he fell asleep in. Comedy! Kyle said he looked like a dead body that had been propped upright in a chair.
So, yesterday after we had showered and got dressed, Kyle and I headed into Brentwood to have lunch. We sat in the pub playing cards for the whole afternoon and eyed up fit men as they came in. At around 6pm, we came back to mine where Kyle helped me choose another stunner of an outfit (this time I wore an army camouflage corset and skirt with matching army trilby hat). We curled my hair and did the best make -up ever! I had smokey black eyes to die for!!!!! I then dropped Kyle at the station (he had to go cos he was working on the shopping channel first thing this morning) and made my way to the pub that Jordan was playing in. My mate Fit Bod texted me saying "you better know yourself and hurry up little girl. Fit Bod". We LOVE Aisleyne from Big Brother's "know yourself" line and use it all the time. He loves the fact that I have nicknamed him Fit Bod so is now using it himself. Ha ha. The previous day I had invited Fit Bod and his gorgeous girlfriend to the gig. I'm really glad they came. My mum was over the moon to see Jo (his girlf) cos she hasn't seen her since she became pregnant. I just can't wait for the baby to be born so that I can go shopping for the baby. My favourite shopping in the world is for baby clothes! Anyway, the gig was great. Everyone was there (except Kyle, who was gutted he didn't get to see Fit Bod) - Tony, Pants, Rusty, Paul, Lauren, Becky, Laura, Naomi, marge and parge etc. When the gig ended at 11pm, we all hopped into three cars and made our way to the nightclub.
The first bloody person I see as I walk in the door is Fancy Boy. I'm looking my best and I know it. I've had compliments from men from the minute I stepped out of my house (they all seem to love the curly hair... oh, and the ginormous tits bursting out of the corset). Fancy Boy is as charming as ever (if not a little bit sheepish ie. Doesn't wanna look me in the eye). He told me that after his mum read the analysis I did of him on my blog, she wants to meet me. Apparently she couldn't believe that someone could know her son that well. I told him that next time I give him public therapy I'll charge lots of money. The first one is always free. Ha ha. But...... Mrs Mummy Fancy Boy - if you're reading this, I have tried to make an honest man out of your son. I have tried to get him to see the light and tried to get him on the straight and narrow. I would have been the perfect girlfriend to him (not like all the gold-diggers that hang off his every word) and I would have treated him like a king (as long as he treated me like a princess). I would have shown him how to love someone for what's on the inside and I would have looked after him properly. One day I'd love to meet you (just because we've probably got loads in common, other than adoring your son). Unfortunately your son knocked me back time and time again until I got to the point I am at now where I gave up. A girl can only take rejection so many times, right?! Instead we are mates and that's good anyway. He does have a problem with girls he can't control (don't tell him this but I'm not actually as wild as he thinks I am - I just play on my power - at home I'm a geek who sits with her dogs and plays "Guess Who") and I do terrify him. I've actually heard loads about you from all the boys. Rusty says you're amazing, loads of fun and that I should have had you come and design my house. I won't take that as an insult because I think my house looks the nuts! I've got a black and white room, a jungle room, a pink palace room etc. Ha ha. I just hear you are the best at what you do. Rusty also said that we would get on like a house on fire, which I don't doubt. Rusty knows me better than anyone so he knows who I'd get on with! I'm glad you took the blogs with a pinch of salt, like I told Fancy boy to do. You know it's all for entertainments sake anyway. I just like to amuse myself (and your son, if he'd let me!). I have given up on him now but one day me and you will get together anyway and have a laugh about the time I stalked him.
Sorry everyone.... The last thing I wanna do is upset the mummy! So, back to last night....
Basically, I ended up taking loads of numbers. I had a serious flirt with a gorgeous young man I call Blondie. We ended up chatting on text after we got home til 4.30am. Although not looking for anything serious, I am very mush open to offers and LOVING flirting with all these fit boys. Blondie's first words to me a few months ago were "You're beautiful" - I've liked him ever since. A man with that amount of balls can't be bad! Funny enough he has just called me and said that he's in Brentwood. I might go and meet him for a drink.
Oh... another great thing last night is that the really handsome best-dressed man ever (who I've been flirting with for ages) invited me and Fit Bod and Fit Bod's girlfriend out to dinner with him and Sugar Ray Leonard. Yes THE Sugar Ray Leonard. For those who don't know - he's a mega famous world champion boxer. I'm very excited!
So, all in all I've had the best weekend ever. I've had a juicy few snogs, I've flirted my way round Brentwood and loved every second of it. I've felt beautiful and happy and I've had the best laugh with my mates. There are so many nice men around that I don't know what to do with myself. I've been in Heaven for weeks. In fact, I've been like this ever since my ex got locked up. It's like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I've finally been set free to enjoy life. I just hope my good mood carries on for the rest of my life. The last 6 years have been the toughest and most challenging 6 years ever. I'm not saying I've had it worse than anyone else, far from it cos I know how lucky I am and I'm grateful for every single thing I have, but no one could argue I've been through the mill a bit. After being hideously bullied at school, I ended up going out with a man who beats me up. I then get famous (my life's ambition) only for my best friend to be murdered. I have to try and carry on with life while hiding my own pain and then I get with a man who sleeps with two women behind my back (one of those being my best mate), he takes £70,000 off me (I was too weak to say no to him) and leaves me with no choice but to have an abortion I didn't want to have. Just as it looks like my troubles are starting to ease, my violent ex then sues me for a giant sum of money because he claims he didn't beat me up. I then have the stress weighing me and my whole family down for two years of knowing that we will all have to go to court to prove that he did beat me up. Finally it ends with him murdering someone and being sent to prison (and he claims he's NOT violent!!!). I'm not saying all this cos I feel sorry for myself, I'm telling you so that you can try and understand how I feel. I'm like a caged bird that's been set free to fly for the first time(corny but true!). Life is so good it hurts!!! Never before have I felt so alive and happy (actually, I did feel like this once - after I left school and before I got with the violent bloke). I'm constantly buzzing. I think I even smile in my sleep!
I'm off to get dressed now. There are a ton of fit boys waiting for me in Brentwood and I want to go and see them. I have my first dance rehearsal with Ben from Strictly Dance Fever tomorrow. I can't wait!!!! I have to go and buy proper dance heels before the session. Tomorrow Ben has told me, we are going to practice the lifts!!! Aaaaaaahhh!!! All my dreams have come true. I actually said to Lauren the other day that once I've done this show, I might as well kill myself cos I'll have done everything I want to do in life. ha ha. There'll be nothing left to ever look forward to! I've met Paul Weller (and Steve Craddock and Steve White), Valentino Rossi, Van Morrison, Chuck Berry, Robbie Williams and a million other mega-stars. I've been out with mega famous film stars (Max Beesley) and pulled the fittest blokes on earth (Cris Judd). I've jumped out of an aeroplane, I've abseiled down Centrepoint, I've travelled the world (and shagged my way round it. joke), I've been on the front of countless magazines, I'm a best-selling author, I've got a beautiful house and car, 8 amazing dogs, the best family and friends you could EVER have, the most talented brother in the world, I've been a Marksman in the Army Cadets and been a stripper at Stringfellows, I've been flown around in helicopters and I ride a motorbike, I've partied like no one else on earth and been "in love" a hundred times. I've broken loads of hearts and had mine broken twice. I've been in pop videos, I'm ambassador to 7 charities, I've lived in Cyprus with Jordan Knight and taken Corey Haim out clubbing in Brentwood, all in all I've had the best life ever and I'm not sure what will make it even better?! Although, knowing me I'll find something else to be in love with by next week (I'll probably take up wind-surfing or motorcross or something!).
I hope you all had a great Bank Holiday weekend. I know I did.
Lots of love and little soft kisses on the lips
Jodie "the happiest I've ever been" Marsh
P.S Mum and dad - I love you more than all the grains of sand in the world (and that's a lot!). I know you're loving the blogs so I just thought I'd tell you how mush I love you and how grateful I am to have you as my parents. I couldn't ever ask for more in life
xxxxxxx
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