28th August 2006 - I'm DRUNK!!!!!!!!!

It's 2.30am and I'm DRUNK!!!! I've never written a blog drunk before... here sgoes.....

Me and Lauren have just got back from Dukes nightclub in Chelmsford. Cocks. Sorry. Didn't mean that. I'm so drunk...... I went there, I met Fancy boy and Blondie and Blondie No 2 (who's also fit). They looked like someone had died and they refused to partake in any dancing/joy/fun/drinking. I did manage to snog Blondie though. He's lush and a good kisser. I think I bit him on the lip. I hope I didn't hurt him cos I like him. I'm going on holiday in a few hours. Wooohoooooooooooo

When we get bored we have to think of ways to entertain ourselves so we played dares. Lauren snogged a man for a dare. I had to go up to a strange man and lick his pierced eyebrow. we had a giggling fit and we aree still having one now. Oh and Lauren had to grope a man's willy for a dare and she did it! she touched his weena!

I like Blondie. He's got balls. I'm not sure if this will turn into anything cos right now he's not keen enough for me. he does want it but not enough. I like them to be dropping everything in the first few weeks, so keen that they'd give their right arm for a chance to spend 5 minutes in my company. He's not quite doing that yet but still... good kisser!

Tonight I have posed for 900 pictures with people and I had a bloke kick me twice. Yes, you read right... he kicked me! ha ha. People are so weird! I can't cope with how weird. Right now I'm too drunk to go into it but when I get up in the morning I will write again with all the gossip from tonight. Blondie said to me that I am dismissive of people - well he should try BEING me for a day. I think I am the most patient and nice person ever in the whole wide world. If blondie saw what I had to put up with tonight he would be quiet!

I was supposed to be meeting the amazing kisser from the other night tonight in Dukes but I told him not to bother cos he started messing. I don't LIKE messers! He wasn't really messing but he was waffling on about he wouldn't be able to get there til really late. I got the hump and brushed him off. can't be dealing with messing men. No space in my brain for them. Just seen a text from Blondie. He has called me a "joker" . ha ha. Love it. why am I a joker?! I know I like a laugh but come on now?! I don't care. It's original at least. I have to put up with hearing the same old crap every day from people, at least he is making me laugh.

I love playing dares in a nightclub. Its my favourite game (apart from run-outs and hide n seek and twister and murder in the dark). Its very funny.

i'm going on holiday in a few hours wooooooooooooo. Lauren and her new man (who is very nice by the way) are staying at my house for a week to look after the Paddy man and Lyla Plum. I'm going with 95 boys and just me. it'll be ok though. It'll be like having 95 minders looking after me. I'm lying anyway cos at the last minute my friend Carolina booked a flight and she is coming as well. I'm sharing a room with her. We booked into the best hotel we could find so that at least we can have some luxury in between the carnage. I'm now nearly being sick over the keyboard cos Lyla has walked poo into the house. Lauren is trying to clear it up but she's gagging as well. gross!!!!!! We haven't got strong stomachs when it comes to dog poo. Ha ha ha aha h aha haaaaaa. Lauren is really gagging and making moaning noises. She's telling Lyla that she's a dirty little girl.

so, I have had a good night. Dukes is normally packed on a Monday night, so packed that you can't move but it was dead tonight cos it was open til 6am last night. I quite like it being so quiet, it meant we had the run of the place to do what we wanted. My mate Cristian was there and we danced so mush we got all sweaty. It was like a work out. I am very excited about going on holiday, Lauren said she's excited too got is means she gets peace and quiet for a week, I'm glad she's looking after Paddy and Lyla cos they love her and she will spend all day cuddling them. They need cuddles. I need cuddles. I'm tempted to tell the good kisser to come over cos I could do with a cuddle now actually. Blondie will be in bed now so I can't ring him. I havent' had a good cuddle in ages. I don't even want anything more than that. Not a sausage - not even a kiss. I'm all kissed out. All I want is a big warm cuddle in bed. I want to fall asleep in someone's arms. I want to lay on a man's chest and stroke his manly back. I'm actually REALLY in need of that.

I'm going to go to bed now and cuddle Paddy and Lyla. They are warm and soft and give good cuddles. I'm verrrrrrryyyyyyyy drunk. Sorry. When I'm drunk like this I always think of Michael Barrymore the freak shouting at me "you're going to end up in rehab" ha ha ha ha ha ha haha ha ahahhhhhaaaaaa. No I'm not - I might be hammered drunk but it only took me three drinks to get this way so you can shove it...... plus, tomorrow I will be sober and you my friend, will still be a shaking wreck of a man. Sorry. I really am going to bed now. Thought it would be funny to write a blog drunk but actually it has just been really hard work. I have no idea what I've written and I can't type for sh*t. it has taken me an hour to write this! Filth. Lots of love and kisses and cuddles. I am sending you cuddles through the tinternet. If I can't have one properly then I'll just imagaine I am having one with a warm loving man.

All my love

Drunkard

p.s have a good holiday yippeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!