As I type this, Kyle is sitting watching the film "It" in the dark on his own. I started watching it with him but realised it wasn't going to be scary at all and since I don't like horror films unless they scare the living daylights out of me; I decided to come and write for a little while instead.
I spoke to the Fit Barman again earlier. God I miss him! I am now actually on the verge of getting a flight to Aiya Napa on my own just to go see him!!! I feel like he's the only person who really knows me and he's definitely the only person who will make me laugh non-stop (which is really what life is all about). He knows every single switch of mine and how to flip them! In fact I can quite honestly say that I don't think I've ever had as mush fun with anyone as I did with him.
Fit Barman - if you're reading this (cos I know you do read it occasionally when the computer man comes), I still miss you more than ever and so wish things could be different. You are the most fun person I've ever known. You know how to "have it" like no one else and you light up every single room you walk in to. You're the perfect man!!!!!
Anyway, moving on because I'm happy right now and I don't want to make myself sad! Today me and Kyle went for lunch with Peppe and his wife. After that we did a little bit of shopping and popped in to see my mum. We then went for a swim, a bike ride, walked the dogs (and fed the ducks) and went down to the stables to see the horses. We've had a very lovely day. In fact I am wondering whether I should have a swimming pool put in at my house. I've certainly got the room for it and it would make those summer garden parties so mush more fun. Although the last one was so mush carnage I've not wanted to have another one since! Not that anything got damaged but it took me 4 days to recover (and to get all the randoms out of the house!). That said, it was the best party ever known to man!
Me and Kyle have also been chatting today about the fact that no one knows how to party anymore. When we were out clubbing (from the tender age of fourteen!), the clubs were full of glamorous people who only went out to get dressed up to the nines and dance. Back then it wasn't even about pulling someone. I mean, if you pulled it was a bonus but primarily you went out to dance on tables. Nobody does that anymore (hence why the whole of Sugar Hut was so gob-smacked to see me and Alex dancing on the bar on Saturday night). Back in the day you could wear anything you liked and get away with it (I remember one of my outfits consisted of rubber bra, rubber knickers, thigh-high white socks and 7" stilettos). In fact everyone made their own outfits and the more outrageous the better. Nowadays it's all about having designer names and logos. If you don't have a certain make of bag or shoe then you're not "trendy". I hate that. I still favour all the outfits I've made myself (including a pair of jeans I cut the arse out of and turned into a pair of denim cowboy chaps). It's about experimenting and being creative. I'd hate to ever look the same as somebody else!
Also we noticed that one of the things we loved most has stopped too! And that is: after-parties! Back when we were clubbing properly (ten or more years ago), everyone used to have after-parties at their houses. By that I mean that anyone who wasn't tired and didn't want to go home (so everyone in the club) would end up sitting round someone's house drinking more and playing silly games. Most of these nights were carnage drink-fuelled hours of playing Truth or Dare and/or spin the bottle or some other silly game. Oh God, those were the days! We talked about the fact that no one does this anymore and laughed as Kyle said "can you imagine asking Fancy Boy and all his mates to go back to yours after clubbing one night?!" The reason we laughed at even the thought of this is that most of the boys who go out to nightclubs in my area are in bed tucked up by 3am. They can't handle all-night drinking sessions and/or silly games. The most they do is pull a girl at the end of the night as the dregs are being kicked out and take her home for a half-hearted and probably half-erect shag (limp drink c*ck). And they think they're really "living it up"!!! God if people knew the half of what I'd got up to they wouldn't cope with it; not that I did anything wrong, I just mean that we had some really wild times when we were younger! One of those times being when we played Truth or Dare and made two boys go and cut their pubes off and stick them on double-sided sellotape under their noses to form a pubic moustache (and my dad walked in to see them both pants down, willys out and pubes stuck on their faces!) Priceless! Yeah... er... sorry about that dad!
Another great night I recall off the top of my head (because me and Kyle were talking about it today) was when, again playing Truth or Dare, we made a girl get naked, we smeared Peanut Butter all over her body and then got various different people to lick it off. Kyle said to me "I bet it was all you behind it as well wasn't it - all your ideas and you instigating it - devil child!" ha ha. He's right; it was. But everyone else LOVED it too. Boy we had some funny ways of entertaining ourselves! We never just sat around bored in those days. There was always a crowd of club-kids up for doing something stupid - even if it involved driving to a graveyard and seeing who could walk through it on their own in the dark. Yes, I know I sound like a weirdo, but I was having the time of my life. If there wasn't anything fun happening - we'd make something happen! As everyone around me gets older (and I feel every day that I'm getting younger), I notice that people get more stressed, busier with and more serious about their jobs and I pine for the days of playing run-outs in the garden just so that you could take a boy into a dark field and snog him!
Anyway, I have decided that I need to have some fun and I need it soon so I am going to ask two different men (who I have met in the last two months) out on a date (at separate times of course). Now I know I'm not best pleased with men at the moment but that's why I reckon it's a great time to ask them. I know that both of them like me but until now I haven't shown them any interest because my sights have been focused on other things. I reckon now is the perfect time to move onwards and upwards and bite the bullet. Also, because I'm not exactly loving men right now (apart from the Fit Barman of course) then I won't get too excited and I won't throw myself head first into anything that might turn out to be crap. Like I said yesterday if you expect nothing then you can't be disappointed when you get nothing. One of the guys is the cousin of a friend of mine (and got the best body I've ever seen) and the other is a guy I met while doing the All Star Talent Show. Both are lovely. I'll let you know what happens!
Tomorrow I am going out with Kyle and Carolina for the day. Carolina has just got back from another holiday (we're going away again in October to see the amazing Valentino Rossi) and we might even go and look at holidays to Barbados tomorrow. She's got the same travelling bug as me which is nice cos it means we'll always have each other to go away with. I'm not sure if I will go and see Linsey and Mark now as I think it was all the closing parties for the clubs out in Marbella this week. No point going if I'm not going to be able to go out and party (and look at fit men, which Marbella seems to have in abundance). Either way, I am looking forward to going to see the legend that is Valentino and I know that Carolina is very excited too. This weekend Alex and I have decided to go out in full fancy dress. We haven't yet decided what to wear but I'm sure it'll be something fun! I'm so bored of everyone looking the same and not knowing how to truly "have it" like me and Kyle used to.
In my book it is still National Be Grateful Week so remember to go and tell that special someone how mush you love them and remember to thank anyone who has done something nice for you recently. I am grateful for my amazing, loving and supportive family and friends, I'm grateful for my beautiful dogs, my lovely house and my monster truck. I'm grateful for winning the show, for even being asked to do it in the first place, for having had the most fun one person can possibly have in a lifetime and for being healthy. I'm grateful to Emily Dubberley (who's new book "I'd Rather be Single than Settle" is EXACTLY what I needed) and I'm grateful for the fact that my back is no longer peeling. I would be grateful for the joy that is man but since I clearly don't know any nice ones (except gay ones and they can't give me everything I need) then I won't be grateful for those just now; actually I'll be grateful for gay men cos every girl needs lots of those around her to keep her sane, make her laugh and force her to wear make-up even when she's not feeling up to it!
"It" has finished now so I am going to put a good film on. I no longer have the need to go to the cinema since the home cinema is so loud and big that my whole house shakes when we watch a film. Plus I have the biggest sofa in the world with no less then 30 cushions on it to lie on while I watch the chosen film for the night. I love it soooooo mush (I'm grateful for all of that too!).
Lots and lots of love Jodie xxxx
P.S this is especially for the unlikely prude (he knows who he is):
Tonight as I lay down to go to bed
I'm going to sing a lullaby in my head
I'll think of bunnies and flowers and trees
I'll try NOT to think about the birds and the bees
I'll read a nice book about dancing and joy
I promise I won't go near my toys
I'll act like lady and be reserved
I'll try to stop acting like a perve
It's not my fault I've become this way
It's been too long since I had a good "lay"
I only want fun and laughter too
I think deep down that so do you
So as I lay with my hands on my heart
And listen to Paddy and Lyla fart
I'll keep my dirty thoughts in check
And banish the ones of having a "neck"
I promise I'll be good and go straight to sleep
I won't do anything you regard as 'cheap'
Although I'll have to pray to the Lord on High
For ONE decent shag before I die!!!!
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