24th October 2006 - I've got TWO boyfriends! No really..... I HAVE!!!!!

So I left you yesterday when my two new hubbies had gone to work and were due back round later on. This is what's happened since:

Lauren came to mine and we sat chilling with the dogs on the sofa. A little while later my two new boyfriends came over and we made the decision to go out. We're all on a bit of a mad buzz so didn't want to sit in and be boring. The best place to go on a Monday night round this way is a club called Dukes. It holds about 3000 people and plays a bit of every kind of music (house, garage, RnB and pure cheese). Yet again we spent the whole night throwing ourselves around the dance floor violently. I went from Dancer 1 to Dancer 2, kissing, groping and grinding up against them and at points was sandwiched in the middle of them while we gyrated to the music. Both were holding my hand and/or had their arm round me all night. I LOVED it!

I still can't tell you how mush this works. I don't even know why it does; it just WORKS. They are the bestest of friends you could EVER get. They love each other like they are brothers and soul mates yet they both fancy me and I fancy both of them. Neither one is jellus of the other and I like them equally. They are very similar in terms of wanting to have as mush fun as possible and they are constantly making me (and each other) laugh but they are also very different. Dancer 1 is very deep and talks a lot. He loves a serious chat and gets really excited and animated when he talks (like me; but then he is a Capricorn like me) and Dancer 2 is more chilled, doesn't talk quite as mush but is slightly dirtier and more aggressive (and is a Taurus which is my perfect match). If you didn't know them, you could be forgiven for thinking they are a gay couple. They've got such a tight bond (kind of like me and Kyle) that they know what each other is thinking and they love each other to bits. They're not gay by the way; they're more straight than any man I've met in the last year!!!!

So, after the club Dancer 2 didn't feel too well and was really tired (we've all been MASSIVELY over-doing it this weekend) so he went off to bed leaving me and Dancer 1 watching TV. I showed Dancer 1 a couple of the programs I've been on recently and also showed him a cheeky episode of one of the Trust Me I'm a Holiday Rep shows. We made jokes the whole time and were wetting ourselves laughing. When we finally went up to join Dancer 2 in bed it was 5am. We woke Dancer 2, not on purpose but just cos we couldn't be quiet and we all then stayed up chatting til nearly 7am. The boys wanted a "serious" (I say that in inverted commas because they don't get REALLY serious when they're together - everything is a laugh and joke!) chat about what was happening between the three of us. We came to the conclusion that if I am happy to have two boyfriends (which I am) then they are happy to BOTH be my boyfriend. I think we all knew that was already the case anyway but it needed to be confirmed (by saying it out loud seriously as opposed to just joking about it). They said that they are totally happy with the arrangement as they feel less pressure this way (ie. they don't need to be dropping everything for a girl and if one can't see me then the other one can etc). If they just had a normal one-on-one relationship then it's too mush and too heavy. This way we all get to have fun and be together without some silly bird nagging one of them that he goes out with his mates too mush or whatever. I'm going out with both of them so I won't ever complain that my bloke is spending too mush time with his mate! Ha ha. They're so close that they don't want to be apart from each other and they don't want to suddenly get tied down to one particular girl. By both of them being with me, they get to spend more time with each other and we get on so well that it's like constantly being with your best mates. The only thing that makes it more than just being mates is the fact that for the last three nights we have shared a bed; I sleep in the middle of course! Can you even begin to imagine how mush fun I'm having?? To have ONE fit man in my bed is pure joy but to have one EITHER SIDE - well I've died and gone to Heaven! And we don't just get in bed and go to sleep; we all cuddle up to each other. Our legs and arms are wrapped all round each other. It's the best thing in the world!!!!!!! If one of the boys rolls over in the night so that his back is to me then the other one naturally pulls me closer to him for cuddles and vice versa. It's amazing!!!!

Today we woke up, called Lauren to wake her up and after getting ready, drove to London. We headed straight for Hamley's where we spent the next few hours running round like excited kids. Lauren and I examined every single Barbie doll and Sylvanian Family while the boys played with the remote control cars. We went into the teddy bear section (Kyle had told me that they had a life-size stuffed teddy giraffe) and I spotted a giant lion teddy bear. I already have two life-size tigers in my house and also a life-size baby giraffe in the jungle room so I just had to get the King of the Jungle to go with them. The lion stands at about 4ft tall. He's HUGE!!!! Dancer 2 carried him all the way back to the car for me over his shoulders. We looked like a bunch of loons walking with what is nearly a full-size lion down Regent Street!! After that we jumped in a cab and told the driver to take us to the London Dungeons. I've been wanting to go there for ages cos I haven't been since I was a kid. It was brilliant. We spent two hours in there and me and Lauren were TERRIFIED! There's a ride in there now where you go in a little boat and all these scary things jump out at you and it's pitch black. We got pictures done of me and Lauren chopping the boys heads off with an axe and just generally laughed our way round. At the very start there is a giant dark maze that you have to find your way out of and we spent ten minutes running round, all four of us holding hands, trying to find the way out. I couldn't stop laughing. I love things like that!

After the Dungeons we drove back to Brentwood to get a take-away and we came back to mine to eat it. We've just had a really long and deep chat about past relationships and why this relationship (with the three of us) is so perfect for us all right now. The boys have just left to go home and sort some work stuff out for tomorrow. They are taking the day off again so that we can go and have some more fun. They will be back soon but in the mean time I thought I'd just give you an update on what's happening.

So.... I have two boyfriends!!! I can't frigging believe it! This is the happiest I've ever been! I mean, we all said today that realistically we don't know how long this is going to last. It might be another week, it might last a year! Who knows what the future holds. All I do know is that I am totally relaxed and happy and laughing more than I have done in ages. They are so mush like me that it's scary. We all think the same way about things and we get on so well that it's like it was meant to be. I know it must seem really weird to all you normal people out there (by that I mean people who don't have two partners at the same time - probably the only people who WOULD understand are men who have more than one wife... Oh and Hugh Hefner) but it just feels so right. I'm never happy with one man anyway. I always get bored and want out of the relationship. The boys are the same from what I gather. They're not content to do things the normal way and they get bored very easily. To be in this weird threesome instead of being in a normal couple is just so wrong it's right. We all love it. I mean, I can easily handle two men at the same time; there's more than enough Jodie love to go round, if you know what I mean. They're not demanding or annoying. They don't want anything but fun and laughter and cuddles and friendship and already they have made me happier (and laugh more) than any previous boyfriend has done. I've seen Hugh Hefner on TV and heard him talking about how his 8 (or however many it is) girlfriends just share him and I've always wondered how it works. Well, now I know. It's easy and fun and better than just being with one man (who I will no doubt tire of and want to get away from). It's more exciting than just being with one and the same person all day long and the boys, well they get to see their best mate all day long without a bird coming or trying to come in between them. I love both of them; that's what it's about; BOTH of them. If I did just go out with one of them I probably would get bored (not because they are boring - far from it), just because if I spend too long in someone's company I end up feeling like we have nothing to talk about or I have to constantly entertain them. With these two though, if I'm busy doing a blog or feeding the dogs or whatever, they are happy to amuse themselves (as best bloke mates do). I don't feel like they drain my energy (if anything they make me even more hyper) and I don't feel like I have to give them 200% of my time. They are so happy with each other that having me to cuddle up to and kiss and be affectionate with is just a bonus to their already great friendship.

I can't explain any more than that at the moment. It's just great.....no.... MORE than great. They are like the two best boy mates I always needed and between them they are everything I want in a man. They are both as mad as me and both as hideously impatient as me. If they want something, they want it NOW! They don't want to miss a single opportunity in life and they don't ever want to conform to what other people decide is "the norm". They hate wet people (dipped in oil) and they hate fake people. They are as real as it comes and they are intelligent as well as sexy. Hell they are both Mr Jodie Marsh!! They ARE me in male form. They don't care what other people think of them and all they want in life is to have as mush fun as possible. They are hyper, nuts, silly, childish yet mature all at the same time. They've been there and done it (like me) and they now just want to do whatever it takes to enjoy life. They are insane yet saner than anyone I know. I feel like I've known them all my life and I know how their brains work (cos mine is the same). They live by their own rules and I LOVE that about them. I wouldn't ever want to change a single thing about either of them.

I know this probably all sounds insane but it's actually more sane than anything I've ever done. I'm not getting carried away or thinking of this as anything other than the biggest amount of fun I could be having in my life right now. That's what it is: fun. Being realistic, like I said earlier; it might not even last that long - who knows?! This could all be a happy memory by next week but right now it feels amazing and I can't think of anything else that would make me happier than being wrapped up in between these two gorgeous boys.

Plus... if it doesn't last then bloody hell... what a great memory to have: the time I had two boyfriends who were best mates!! If I was seeing both of them behind each other's backs then it might still be fun (but also tricky to juggle) but this way it's out in the open and the fact that they love it as mush as I do is just amazing. There's no sneaking around or cheating going on. We're in a perfectly happy threesome relationship and we have all met our matches. I can't wait for Kyle and Tony and everyone to meet them. I just know they will all get on like a house on fire. All my mates know about them and think it's the funniest and best thing they've ever heard! I've had Tony and Kyle crying with laughter down the phone to me! And anyone who does think it's weird just needs to see us all together for five minutes to realise actually how normal and great it is. Lauren has spent the whole day with us and enjoyed every minute of it. Even though every ten minutes I was kissing one of them, there wasn't any point where she would have felt left out or like a gooseberry. The more conventional people out there would definitely need to see us together to see why it's so good and so sane because words don't describe what we're all like but like I said, after 5 mins in our company you would see why I'm floating on fluffy clouds of laughter and joy. This is going down in my life story as one of the best experiences ever (along with doing a sky dive, doing the Dirty Dancing Lift and riding round Donington with Ron Haslam). In fact, I'm quite scared at the thought of this not lasting forever because if it doesn't then how the hell am I ever going to be satisfied with just one man again?! And how will I ever find two like these again?! I mean, anyone can go out and get a threesome but to find two men who both love you to bits and both want to actually have a semi-serious relationship with you and share you equally in every way (AND both are best mates and fit as f*ck) - well it's just not gonna happen ever again is it?! God I may well have just ruined what was left of my already screwed up brain. No one man will ever be enough or compare to this! Oh sh*t........... Please last forever...... Ha ha. Seriously - it wasn't til typing this blog that I had even thought about the consequences! The consequences of having such an amazing time now is that if it doesn't last forever then I will be forever looking for something more. This is the biggest thrill I've ever had! How will I ever top it?! I'll never again want to be with just one bloke! Oh no... what have I gone and done?!

Oh well - nothing I can do about it now. I've just had the best three days of my life and I plan for it to get even better. You know me; I've always got some trick or exciting plan up my sleeve. I'll make sure that I make the most out of this and that no matter what happens we all have the best time ever. The only annoying part about it is having to explain to people that they are BOTH my boyfriend. No one seems to believe us at first and last night in Dukes I had to repeatedly try and convince blokes that I was with both of them. Blokes kept coming up asking if I had a boyfriend and I kept saying "yes - those two!" pointing at the two fitties. Everyone thought I was taking the piss (or just saying it to try and get rid of them) but I wasn't! I really do have TWO boyfriends! Yippeeeeeeeeeeeee!

I'm off to put a sexy little outfit on before they get back (gotta please the hubbies). We're all knackered now cos we've had such a hectic few days (and not enough sleep) but I just know that the minute they get back we will be screeching laughing again and making yet more silly videos on our phones. They truly are my soul mates and they are everything I could want in a relationship. They are like my older brothers, best mates and boyfriends all rolled into one. We have serious deep chats, we have playfights, we have tender affection and naughty fun. This is the best thing in the world. Seriously girls - if you ever get the chance to go out with two men at the same time, I highly recommend it; especially (in fact ONLY) if they are best mates! This is f*cking incredible!!!!

Going to put on sexy outfit now. Lots of love Jodie Marsh-Kirkland-Khan

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P.S we have all told each other we love each other today. Whether or not we all truly mean it remains to be seen. I mean, I DO love them but it's only been three days. I might hate them by next week! ;)