I have just run round my house tidying away dog toys and make-up as I am filming here today. In fact it is 10.45am and the film crew are due here at 11am. Since I have nothing to do except sit and wait I thought I'd do some writing; you know.... Get a few things off my heavy chest!
Ha ha - it's now 2.30pm and the film crew have just left. They arrived when I typed that first paragraph! So my work for the day is done (apart from I now have a meeting to go to this afternoon). The film crew were lovely. We had a good laugh with the filming. Obviously I can't tell you what it's about cos I'm never allowed to speak about any TV I'm doing until the channel decides to promote it but it's gonna be good!!!! The two guys filming were actually quite fit. I think I fancied BOTH of them. Ha ha. I was half-tempted to ask what they're doing later on and whisk them off to Sugar Hut for a drink (and perhaps a threesome). Jeez I have got sex on the brain! Probably cos I'm not getting any but it doesn't help that everywhere I look I see it! Every book I read, every TV show I watch is about sex! My poor toys are taking a hammering at the moment!
I'm back to thinking that getting a male prostitute is a good idea! Where's that number again.........? The problem is I just don't fancy anyone! And the ones in the past that I have fancied have just either not fancied me back or been too wet and scared to do anything. I hate weak men. Men are supposed to be strong and tough and brave; like a man I once fell in love with who picked me up by the back of my trousers and threw me onto the bed. He was an animal! For me, the more animalistic they are the better. If I wanted to shag a woman I would - I don't need men who act like women. I fancy men because they are men. I love their stubble and big shoulders and hard backs and chest hair. Hell I even love their beer-guts. Men shouldn't act like women! Women are allowed to be weak and soft and vulnerable but men aren't!!! I'm not saying that men can't be nice and sensitive and even emotional but they shouldn't be scared of things (and certainly not a 5'2 girl!)!!!
Realistically what am I gonna do to hurt them anyway? Shag them to death?! Oooh and how terrible that would be! Death by being licked and bitten and sucked. Ha ha. Til the day I die I will NEVER understand all the men who have said to me "you're intimidating" or "too powerful". I'm just a little girl from Brentwood. There's nothing special or different about me. Ok, I admit I'm probably better than average in the bedroom but that's cos I'm confident and not shy. Working at Stringfellows and watching loads of porn helped me to be a good lover. It's not hard! Other than that though I'm the same as anyone else. I laugh and cry the same, I'm not perfect, I get lonely!!!
Right now I'm not one bit lonely; I just want someone to fancy. Fancying people is what makes me tick. It makes me want to go out and dress up in a sexy outfit and spray my lady-flower with perfume! Ha ha. When there's no one to fancy I could happily stay in and eat chips and not get dressed. I don't know why I feel like that; I just do. I LOVE fancying people and I love being fancied. There's nothing on Earth like the feeling of two people passionately in lust. That chemistry that's so strong you can FEEL it burning between you. I love that and it's been too long since I've had it (and actually got laid by the person). Every bloke I meet that I do fancy like that is either not interested, too wet or taken. I can't deal with any of those.
I know I go on about it but I am only human (and unfortunately a human with a VERY high sex drive) so it's only normal for me to crave what I don't have (or can't get). I mean, my toys are a great substitute but only for so long. I then get to the stage I am at now where I start to tear my hair out and will take the nearest bloke home for some fun (even if he's bordering on being an alien cos he's so weird looking). The annoying thing is as well that all the men recently (who have probably taken great pleasure in turning me down) are not even worthy of me! If I had some regular man-joy in my life then I probably wouldn't have even looked twice at them. Ha ha. I wish I could show you a picture of just one of the fine specimens I've snogged in the last few months. You'd laugh your head off!! Ok, some of them have been really good-looking but still not what I want in a man. I want a man who wears baggy ripped jeans and vests showing his muscles. I don't want a man who wears his shirt tucked into his skinny-cut trousers and loafer shoes with gold buckles on. Some of the boys I've snogged recently wear their trousers so high that they look like they're trying to BE Simon Cowell! That look is NOT for me. See - now you can understand just how frustrated I am! I'm pulling Simon Cowell's protégé just because there's nothing else!
If anyone knows of a place where all the man wear faded, ripped, baggy jeans, white vests (with a bit of muscle) and cool trainers (with maybe a cap or woolly hat and silver cross necklace for added effect) then please can you let me know! There isn't a single man like that in Brentwood and I know cos I've seen every single one of them. They all wear tight trousers with shirts tucked in. some of them are stunning looking still but if I got my hands on them I'd have to take them shopping! Ha ha. Anyway I had better go cos I've got an important meeting to go to. I've gotta drive over to my agent's office! I might write again later (if I don't drag the new boy in the office back with me to throw around for a while). Loads of love Jodie x x x x
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