19th October 2006

I lap-danced last night (yes I went to Stringfellows!) The one about Razor Ruddock, Vinny Jones, Meatloaf, Russell Brand and me misbehaving!!!


So you go to work to do a job, you take your mate and you think you're gonna be home by 7pm. What actually happens is that you finish the job and end up in a pub with all the production crew, you get pissed and decide to go to Stringfellows for a naked dance and then you end up in a nightclub where you pretty mush snog someone you work with and then you crawl into bed at 4am! And all of this on a Wednesday night!

So I went to film the Russell Brand show 1 Leicester Square yesterday. Tony came with me cos he had the afternoon off (plus he wanted to meet Meatloaf and Vinny Jones). I did the show, which was great. I know Russell Brand and he was as lovely as ever (and probably the funniest man alive). He got all excited when his talking puppet (on the show) touched my boobs to check that they are real. It was very funny. MTV had my new calendar. It's being printed in Italy as I type this and since they couldn't get hold of a copy they got the company to send them the layout and had it printed out themselves. It cost them £60 to get printed! They were ripping it out of me all day saying it's the most expensive calendar in the world! Ha ha. I really appreciate it though! Thanks MTV!!!!!!!!!! The calendar looks great. There are some topless shots in there. I commissioned the photos myself. Kyle styled the shoot and my favourite photographer took the photos. All the outfits are my own (well, if you can call some of them 'outfits'). It's very special!!!

Vinny Jones was amazing too! He even said during his own interview with Russell that I am mush better than Jordan and should run for Prime Minister! What a top bloke! He's gorgeous too. Kyle went mad when I said I was going to be working with him cos he fancies him and when I met him I could see why! He's sooooo sexy!

Meatloaf was cool too and actually really funny. We did this bit where me and Meatloaf had to answer questions from the audience together but I was laughing too mush to answer mush. He was screaming like a mad-man and had everyone in stitches! You gotta watch the show - it's on next Monday on MTV (at 10pm I think) - the 23rd Oct!!!!!

So, after the show I went with Tony and John (a new guy at my agent's office who was chaperoning me yesterday) and a load of the guys from MTV to the pub next door. We had to fight our way through twenty paps who were taking pictures. John was very efficient. He marched me through the heaving crowd and got me safely into the pub. There were also a load of people outside with pictures of me that they wanted signed so I stopped to do those. Once inside the pub and after three drinks each we were all feeling merry and decided to get on the shots. With that we decided that we just HAD to go to Stringfellows. It was only a five minute walk from Leicester Square so we set off with Tony carrying my bag of clothes and John carrying my pillow (I always take a pillow on jobs so that I can sleep in the car). We got to Strings and all the staff were really happy to see me. We were taken straight to the best table (right in front of the show stage downstairs) and we proceeded to get even more drunk and get dances. I had two dances and between the group we must have had about 8. I chose most of the girls for the boys cos I KNOW who's gonna be sexy. I can just look at a girl and tell whether she's gonna do a good dance or not. Lets just say the boys were in their element. I think they all fell in love with one girl I chose! We all started feeling horny and were itching to go somewhere to dance ourselves so after about four hours we left to find a nightclub nearby. Strings was brilliant. It was weird but nice to be back in there. In a way it scared me cos I thought "I could NEVER do this again" but at the same time I had a mad urge to get up and strip for someone!!! It was wicked seeing some of the girls I used to work with though. They were so nice and supportive of what I'm doing now! That place still gets me horny the minute I walk through the door! Ha ha.

We wandered back into Leicester Square and stopped to get a slice of pizza each from a food place. At that point some scumbag woman (I say 'woman' with disgust cos she was at least 35, she wasn't some stupid little girl) standing behind me SPITS a mouthful of food onto my bare back. Filth! One of the boys in the group saw her do it and starts having a go at her and calling her a tramp (bless him!). I felt it hit my back so I spun round and asked politely what she had just done. The hideous old bag then runs off down the road with her mates calling her name and chasing her. What a filthy disgusting tramp of a woman! See, one day she'll do that to the wrong person and get her face smashed in. It's people like her who cause world wars. No wonder there's so mush violence in the world really?! Urrrrgh! It makes me feel sick just thinking about it.

Anyway, after that we wander up to the door of the nearest nightclub. I had specifically said to the boys that if we went somewhere it had to be a dive and cheesy. I didn't want to go to a "celeb hang-out" club. They were all screaming about China Whites and the likes but I insisted on going somewhere sh*t. I've had enough of all the "top" clubs. There's nothing new, no new people and the drinks are £12 each. Instead I wanted to throw myself round a dance floor stupidly and do shots at the bar with everyone (maybe I'm just trying to recreate Aiya Napa). The club let us all in free (having recognised me and coincidentally the doorman recognising one of the boys in the group as someone he went to college with). We spent the next hour dancing ridiculously and I showed John how a "proper" lap-dance is done. He was rolling his eyes at me (after all, I'm his client) and he was trying to make me behave but realising he was fighting a losing battle, he let me get on with it and we had some fun. Part of him was going "this is fun!" and the other part was going "I should be looking after her and making sure she's ok and this is soooooo wrong!" ha ha. The part I love the most is that the next time I walk into the office he is going to have to keep a straight face but I just know he'll be thinking about me rubbing my bum against him and biting his lip. Ha ha. I can't wait to be professional in the office together and talk business! ;)

Anyway, a great night was had by all. One of the boys fell for one of the girls in Strings (sorry babe - ha ha). She found out that he worked for MTV and was on him like a rash. He spent the next hour trying to convince us she was lovely and genuinely liked him. We all ripped it out of him while he protested that "she didn't even want the £100" he'd given her!!! Bless! Next time I take him there I'll make sure he knows the score! Ha ha.

Today I was supposed to be having a lunch meeting in London with Sandra Horley - chief executive of Refuge but she called this morning to postpone it til next week. She's off to Canada tomorrow and she suddenly got calls this morning to do a load of interviews with magazines about domestic violence (which obviously she's NOT gonna turn down). You have NO IDEA how happy I was that she called to postpone! Obviously I really wanted to see her but I was soooooo hung-over this morning that I was struggling to get up and get ready. Oh what a blessing......

Oh, nearly forgot.... My mate Neil Razor Ruddock was on Virgin radio yesterday morning. They're doing this thing at the moment where they phone celebrity mates to wake them up and Razor decided to phone me! At 8am I get a phone call from him and I answer it (still half asleep) making sleepy moaning noises only to discover that I'm live on radio! Cheers Razor! I think I mumbled something about "getting him back", had a chat (of which I don't remember anything I said) and went back to sleep with the phone in my hand!

Today I am now chilling as I am working again tomorrow. I'm chuffed that I've now got nothing to do as I am tired and hung-over and in need of tidying my house. I'm off to get something to eat now anyway. Hope you're all having a nice day!!

Lots of love Jodie x x x x x