16th September 2006 - I WON!!!!!! This ones for all the people who voted! THANK YOU!!!!

OH MY GOD!!!! WE WON!!!!!! WE WON!!!!! I can't believe it..... WE F*CKING WON!!!!!!! Me and Ben won! I keep pinching myself cos I can't believe it!

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who voted! If I knew who you all were I'd come and give each and every one of you a giant smacker on the lips! I am the happiest girl alive! I've never felt this happy and I've never giggled and grinned this mush in my life! The biggest THANK YOU in the world to everyone who voted. I love you!!!

THANK YOU!!

So, I guess you saw how mush of a good time I had last night. I even cried (happy tears)! I'm so grateful to Channel 5 for giving me this opportunity and I owe all of it (the Win included) to Ben and Vanessa because they are truly amazing and the transformation from tabloid slapper (not that I've enjoyed being known as that!) to dancing queen was all down to them.

Yesterday was such a long day. I was up at 5am and in the car by 6am. I arrived at the Riverside Studios, wolfed down some scrambled egg on toast and then didn't get a minutes rest until I got home at 2am! It was a brilliant day though (cos I got to spend it with Ben). We did about 3 full rehearsals (one of those being a full dress rehearsal), I had a million costume fittings (my dress was too long and kept having to be taken up), we had to do technical rehearsals for the show and also had to spend hours in hair and make up. All the other people on the show were lovely. Oliver Skeet I got on really well with (we have swopped numbers cos I'm gonna take him and his girlfriend to China Whites soon). Sally James was lovely, she helped me calm down when I panicked about the dress. Peter Duncan was lovely and funny and made us all laugh. Ron Atkinson I've met loads of times and we laughed all day about various other times we've worked together. Andy Scott Lee was lovely; I've met him before too and even though me and his girlfriend don't get on (cos she started publicly abusing me for no reason), he was sweet and charming and lovely to me - a real gent! Julian Clary was lovely and when I heard the other two judges were going to be Sally Linsey and Bobby Davro I was really happy cos I know both of them and love them to bits. Sally is going out with Steve White (Paul Weller's drummer) so I've met her before, plus of course I see Steve every time I go to see the Modfather. Bobby Davro came and did a guest spot on The Games when I was on it and I really got on with him. He famously did the bellyflop on the previous Games to mine. He's lovely!! I was worried as to who the judges were going to be cos last week Kerry Katona was one of them. She loves to have a little pop at me publicly (for reasons unknown cos I've always been lovely to her when I've met her!) so I was dreading it being someone like her! Andi Peters made time for everyone and even came and had an hours chat with me and all the boy dancers on the show while we were sneaking in a quick break. Myleene I know and have always got on really well with. We had to perform a dance at G.A.Y to the FHM song "Do you think I'm sexy". We were also in the pop video for it. She's a genuinely warm, lovely person.

Anyway that's just so you know who's who and what's what. I started to get nervous at around 6pm when I tried a run-through in my dress for the first time. It was too long and the heels of my shoes kept getting caught in the back of the dress rendering me incapable of un-hooking myself and making the whole routine look very sloppy. I was gutted because we'd put so mush work into it that I couldn't cope with the thought of it all going to pot on the show just because my dress was too long! Wardrobe took the dress away to shorten it but that meant I wouldn't get another practise in it before the show. Considering I'd done the routine all week in shorts and vest, it was seriously different to be doing it in a floor-length flowing gown! Anyway, exactly 5 minutes before the show started I was out the back of the studio with Ben practising the lift one last time in the dress. When we did the full dress rehearsal the skirt of my dress went right over Ben's face so that he couldn't see where he was going and with me held up above his head, he nearly fell off the stage; which would have broken both our necks!

At around 5pm I had a huge bouquet of flowers delivered to my dressing room from my mum, dad and brother. They were beautiful and the card with them said "It certainly won't be raining on your parade! Go out there and knock them for six! Enjoy! Love mum, dad and Jordan xxxx" I had the song "Don't rain on my parade" for the routine (which you know if you watched the show). I cried when I got the flowers cos I had a sudden rush of emotion. I think for a minute everything got on top of me. I've had the worst and best year this year. I've been set free from a monster (murderer) and I've finally found inner peace. Yesterday, on receiving the flowers, I suddenly realised I am doing the job I always wanted to do, I feel nothing but love in my heart for everyone around me (including Ben, ha ha!) and things honestly couldn't be better. That said I also felt worried that I was going to let everyone down by messing it up on the night. Corny as it sounds, I just wanted to do my mum and dad proud. My mum had seen the video of us doing the routine in shorts and vest but I knew nothing would prepare her for seeing me in the beautiful dress.

So, with 3 minutes to go until we were live on air, I kissed Ben and ran to the Green Room to be with the other performers. I was up first and actually quite glad to get it out of the way. While they were playing the VT of me posing on red carpets and stuff, I was running down the stairs, dress hitched up, to get to the back of the stage and get in position. Ben was there waiting looking like the man of my dreams in his suit. He always looks handsome but he took my breath away in his suit! We wished each other luck and took up the start position on the revolving stage. As soon as we started I felt amazing. I had been told strictly not to smile throughout the routine as it had to be "serious" but I soooooo wanted to grin the whole way through! I think a couple of times I maybe cracked a small grin at Ben cos I couldn't help it. We had a few minor hitches with my heel getting caught in the back of the dress but hopefully it wasn't too noticeable on TV! After the dance finished (and Ben kissed me and sent shivers through my whole body), I felt like I could go straight back up there and do it all again! The nerves and fear had gone and I was flying!! After the judges and clap-o-meter bit, I went straight out the back to have a cigarette. I was so excited that I just couldn't sit down and needed to do something. All the crew from the show that I saw while outside kept saying "well done" to me, even though I felt like I'd messed it up with the heel caught in the dress. I honestly didn't think at the point that I stood even a tiny chance of winning and I remember I kept saying to people "I just want to win so that I can come back and do it again!" I didn't want it to be over! I've never loved a TV show so mush as I did this one. Everyone working on it has to be the loveliest group of people! All the crew, the producers, directors, runners, the other celebs.... Everyone. I loved them all! It's been nothing but fun since the beginning and of course, the amazing Ben and Vanessa (without whom I couldn't have done it!).

I then sat in the Green Room for another hour with my fingers crossed. I DESPERATELY wanted to win by that point just because I realised that if I didn't win I'd never get to do the dance again with Ben. All my friends have already married us off and have decided that the routine will be our "first dance" at our wedding. Ha ha. I love the idea, there's just the small problem of Ben already having a girlfriend he won't leave (I did try, in fact I begged him but he was having none of it!). So, when we came to the final advert break in the show where all the celebs had three minutes to get in a line on the stage, I suddenly needed a wee more than anything! I begged one of the crew to let me go and she said yes but came with me. She ended up holding my millions of layers of skirt up, while I pulled my knickers to one side to have a pee! Classy! Ha ha. She was screeching laughing as we did it, saying "Ah.... TV - it's so glamorous!". I ran back to my position after washing my hands and then we were back on air. When Julian said he wanted either Ron or Sally to win, my heart sunk. I thought I knew for sure then that I hadn't won and that I would be going home crying myself to sleep over the fact that I would never get to do the dance again.


When they announced my name as the winner, I sunk to the floor and then burst into tears. I honestly didn't expect it and it was the BEST feeling in the world! I did it! I didn't let Ben or Vanessa or my mum and dad down and I know they were equally as happy as me, My mum sobbed throughout my performance and even Vanessa cried too! I know that last's week show was funny, what with Carol Thatcher winning and everything but to me it wasn't a tiny bit funny. It was the best and most enjoyable thing I've ever done. I didn't take it too seriously, I mean, I wasn't Hell-bent on winning and I don't even particularly enjoy competition but I just so desperately wanted to win so that it wouldn't be over. I want to do this forever!!!!!!!! I've never felt so happy as I did last night (and still do). So again.... The BIGGEST, most MASSIVE, GINORMOUS thanks to everyone who voted! I love you so mush!!!!

After the show we all had drinks in the bar. My mum, dad, Jord, Kyle, Lauren and Carolina had been in the audience and loved every second of it! Kyle nearly fainted when he saw the dress covered in diamonds! He was hyperventilating the whole way through the performance. I did love the dress though and had so many compliments on it! I felt like a princess and/or a bride about to walk down the aisle. I think if Ben didn't have a girlfriend, I'd have proposed to him live on TV last night! Ha ha. Ron Atkinson LOVED the dress and kept telling me how beautiful I looked. I think he was just trying to calm my nerves (and it worked!). I can't even describe to you how amazing last night was for me.

What with the worst start to the year ever: being in Big Brother with Britain's nastiest people during the anniversary of Kim's birth and death - well, it just doesn't really get worse than that. Plus I still had the murderer hanging over me like a black cloud, wanting a ton of my hard-earned money for the pleasure of beating me up for 4 years! Things weren't particularly great to say the least. And now........ well.... what a transformation! The show has been the highlight of my career. I loved it. I loved the crew, I loved the celebs, I loved Vanesssa and I loved Ben. And now I get to do it all over again!!!!! I COULD NOT be happier!!!!!!

This has been the best thing I've ever done. The text messages of support from all my mates afterwards were incredible. Most of them were at home watching it and crying along with me and my mum! They all said that I looked happier than I had done in years and that the Jodie now is a totally different one from the one that was on Big Brother. I couldn't agree more! I no longer have a murderer trying to sue me, I'm surrounded by beautiful and loving people and I'm doing a job I love. Only thing I gotta get now is the man to go with it! Ben.... I'm waiting. In fact I'll wait forever. You're sexy, talented, handsome, kind, funny, nice and I WANT you!!!!!

You know what though? Even if I don't end up getting him (which I probably won't, like I said before, I can't have it all!) than it doesn't matter. I know that life is on the up and things can only keep getting better. I'm sitting here at my keyboard surrounded by orchids and hair-pins. Lyla and Paddy are licking my legs waiting to be taken for a walk and tonight I am going to celebrate harder than ever before! Last night I went for a meal after the show with my family, Lauren, Carolina and Jo (my publicist and friend). We went to a gorgeous little restaurant on the Kings road that we often go to when in London. It's open all night and does the best food ever! I hadn't eaten anything all day except the scrambled eggs so I stuffed myself with chips, garlic mayo and halloumi. After that I fell asleep in the car on the way home and rolled into bed grinning and hugging the dogs. We were going to go to China Whites last night but in the end I didn't have the energy. Instead we are all going to go either next weekend or the one after. Oliver Skeet and his girlfriend are coming too so it'll be a bit of a celebration of the All Star Talent Show.

So..... To conclude. Life DOES NOT get better than this. Right now I am the happiest I've ever been. I loved last night more than anything I've ever done. The show, the crew, the audience, Vanessa and Ben were all so nice I want to cry again just writing this! Nobody judged me, nobody was nasty. It was the best experience of my life and I will treasure it forever. I can't WAIT to go and do it again in four weeks time! I felt like a princess with my true knight in shining armour, I loved being wrapped in his arms (in fact when I hugged him after the show I didn't want to let him go!) and I loved the fact that for once in my life I've done something everyone can be proud of. My mum and dad are proud of everything I've ever done but this was definitely the best! To see me up there as their little girl, dancing beautifully with a gorgeous man and looking like a princess made them cry with happiness!

Thank you again to Channel 5, everyone who works on the All Star Talent Show and a special thanks to Ben and Vanessa for making me look beautiful (and half elegant!). If I could give you all hugs and kisses over the internet then that's what I would be doing now! I have LOVED every second of it and it has made me want to enjoy every single day like yesterday for the rest of my life! Thank you for giving me the opportunity to shine and thank you for all your help. It's been the BEST!!!!!!! Thank you to everyone who voted (I just can't thank you enough!). I love you all, I love everything and everyone! I'm floating on the biggest fluffiest cloud and I don't ever want to come down. Life is soooooo great! Tonight I am going to go out and snog a handsome man and shut my eyes and pretend that I am kissing Ben. Ha ha.

When I was a little girl I always dreamed of dancing professionally on stage, maybe even on TV. Well, now I've done it and yet again it proves what I always say - don't ever give up on your dreams cos you'll get there in the end if you keep trying! And I'm now dreaming of the time when I wake up in my lovely big bed with Ben's arms wrapped around me (and possibly his morning glory poking me in the back! Ha ha). I want his smiling face to be the first thing I see when I wake up and I want to marry him and do the routine as our first dance. I want to take him to Barbados and I want to give everything up to become a dancer! Ha ha. Seriously, thank you again to everyone involved in the show and everyone who voted. I really have had the Time Of My Life! Nobody puts Jodie in the corner (I carried a watermelon......). I F*CKING LOVE LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!