Don't know what the date is - I'm drunk and it's late and i fancy a school boy

The last time I judged a pole dancing competition I was going out with school teacher Dave or "Dave sax" as he was otherwise known (cos he played saxophone). I took him along with me cos he was on school holidays (it was a daytime event). He pretended to be embarrassed but actually he loved it more than anything. Some of the girls were extremely sexy and some were atrocious. Some I had to physically turn away from some otherwise I'd have laughed in their face. One girl turned up in a tracksuit (to a competition called "stripper of the year 2006") and proceeded to do a Michael Jackson dance across the floor (not even going anywhere near the pole). She was pure comedy. I don't think she understood the concept of it. I was like Sharon Osbourne on X Factor. I wanted to laugh so many times but had to be professional and didn't want to be a bitch. At one point I stifled a laugh that was so big and strong I ended up choking and coughing. The film crew had to get me some water so that I could continue. The girls that were good though were really good. They had me turned on and I don't even swing that way (well, not often). Dave's eyes were popping out of his head for most of the day but he sat quietly in the corner pretending he was studying the technique and posture. That was the same day I then had to go back to finish the filming of the new Streets video. If I hadn't been with Dave I reckon I would have put it right on Mike Skinner. He's lush and very cheeky. Unfortunately I was in one of my "true love" relationships where I can't see past the head of the person I'm already snogging and I only had eyes for Dave. We only lasted a few more weeks after that, which is a shame cos I would quite liked to have got my hands on Mike Skinner. Ha ha. Jo - have you still got his number?! Ask him out on a date for me please. While I'm in the process of setting up two others, I don't reckon a third will hurt! (Jo is my publicist).

While I think of it - if you want another person's account of that day then go back and read my blog called Wednesday 29th March - A Day in the life of Jodie Marsh - a lovely woman called Sali won a competition to spend a day with me and she did a write up for a magazine about it. Her account of events is very sweet and funny! Well worth a read if you're bored!!

So I am now ready to go to work. I am wearing a very sexy Jodie special. I'm wearing a pair of army green short trousers (cut off just below the knee, tight over the bum and ever so slightly baggy everywhere else). They are cut so low on the hips that you would be able to see my pubes if I had any. They are tied up just under my knee and I'm wearing my new silver diamond gina shoes. Around the low waist of the trousers I have a diamond belt with chains hanging off it. The top is a piss-take of a Von Dutch top and it's a tiny black vest with the words 'Von Bitch' written in diamonds across my boobs. I've hacked at it with a pair of scissors so that it's even tinier. I'm also wearing an army camo print trilby hat with a string of diamonds around that too (instead of the normal band of ribbon they normally have around them)! I feel a million dollars and I'm ready to see some naked flesh! Carolina is not quite ready to go and rather than keep looking at myself in the mirror, I thought I'd write another blog.

I'm raring to go! Oh, and I've also decided that if I don't pull tonight and I'm not so drunk that I come in and pass out; I'll write another drunk blog for your (and my) amusement. The drunk blog I wrote before made so many of my friends and family laugh that I think it's time to do another one. So if any of you are still up at 3am then check it cos I have every intention of doing one when I get in!

I hope you are all having a good week. If I don't write a drunk blog then you know it's cos I have either pulled (wey-hey!) or I have passed out! I'm off to go to work now with a sexy outfit and a smile. Sometimes I really really love my job! ;)

Lots of love and swinging round big fat poles

Jodie

P.S remember people: The biggest risk in life is not taking one!!!!!!

Right - all of the above I wrote before I went out cos I was waiting for Carolina. But I couldn't put it on cos my stupid intiernet wasn't working. This what I am writing now is .... Hang on..... at 3am. I am drunk. My friend gary has just dropped me home. He asked the 16 year olfd I snogged a few months ago if he wanted to be my new "F*ck buddy" and the 16 year old said "but I'm not quite as experienced as you!" (to me) and I said "it's ok, you can learn". Ha ha ha ha ha. he is very cheeky and now that I know he is still at school (in sixth form) I want him even more. In fact, the 16 year old is now 17 so it's ok. My biggest fantasy in the whoel world EVER would be to get him to bunk off school in his uniform and to come over to my house! I can't think of anything more exciting. I just told gary that my birthday is coming up and that all I want for it is the 17 year old delivered to my door in his uniform and I am SERIOUS. Gary is his boss so he can demand that he work over-time. I will even pay him. Ha ha. the only problem is that someone told me he was gay (but he didn't kiss like a gay man) but I think they just told me that because I fancied him and not them. I REALLY want the 17 year old in his uniform. It's the most exciting thought in the whole world. I would make him keep his blazer on and everything. Ha ha ha. I',m so sorry for my drunken behaviour. I've been looking at naked people all night though so you can' t blame me! I am a sex fiend and I need help. Although I would never strip naked in a club in front of everyone (unless iwas being paid millions) and a girl tonight got naked! And so did a man! He got properly naked! He showed us his willy and his bum. i just wanted to see the 17 year old in his school uniform. I would happily educate him.

I'm very drunk right now. I've had a good night though, gary called Carolina up on stage as a judge as well. she;s from slovakia and he introduced her as the reigning pole dancing champion of Europe. He made her help me judge. It was so mush fun. I did consider getting up there and showing them how it's really down cos no one was really doing it sexily enough. I did a pop video once before I was famous (when I was lap-dancing) and I had to dance in my underwear in a shower. They slowed it down in the video so it was slow motion shots of me gyrating and flicking my wet hair, it was the sexiest thing ever!!!! I've never seen anything so sexy! Ha ha. I wanted to get u pa nd do it again but I managed to restrain myself cos I didn't want to ruin my clothes and shoes and hair and make up. If anyone half decent had been there or if I was surrounded by fun people then I might have done it but it was quite young in there and quite boring. No point wasting my efforts on people who wouldn't appreciate it. I'll wait til the fit barman is in England and do it then cos he will LOVE it more than anything ever! The girl that got naked though was a good sport and we made her the winner. She had lovely boobs! Girls boobs always look nice when they are standing under a shower though. There's something about water and being naked that's really sexy. I want the 17 year old to play with for a while!!!! He's so handsome and cute. I want him to be my new toy and i will pay good money.

I wish you could see him so that you know what I mean. He's quite shy I think (or maybe just terrified of me - but there's no need cos I'd be really gentle with him) and he's sooooooooooooooooooooooooo handsome. I think that maybe I should have got up and danced tonight in the waterfall cos I would have loved it. but I wouldn't get naked unless they paid me a million pounds. These days I only get naked for big money or 17 year olds in school uniform. I would want him to keep his tie on too. I WANT HIM. I WANT HIM. I WANT HIM. I clearly need some stimulation in my life cos I really have turned into a sex fiend. I am a nuisance to myself and everyone I meet. I can't believe gary asked him if he wanted to be my new toy! Although he did say that he will be out tomorrow night so I might have to go there and find him for a cheeky snog in the corner. I know I love sex and everything but sometimes kissing is BETTER than sex. I love kissing. It feels warm and nice. It feels lovely and I wish I could do it every day forever. Kissing is the best thing in the world. And it's free! Kissing makes me feel happy and makes me feel good. I love men's lips and I love feeling them touching mine. Unfortuanetly I didn't get a kiss tonight but I will hopefully get one soon. I go a little bit shy around people I like (even when they are only 17) and when gary called him over tonight I went all silly and giggly. My head was thinking "I want to take you home and play with you" but my mouth was just grinning and giggling. I look like a fool when I'm around people I like.

I just hiccupped which must mean it's time for bed. I have had a very good night tonight. I have seen lots of naked people and I have seen the cutest boy ever who I have found out wears school uniform. That is enough to get me excited for the rest of the year. I hiccupped again. I am very happy and smiley and will go and dream now of the gorgeous boy in his blazer and tie. I want to be like that girl off Hollyoaks with the school boy boyfriend. That is all I need in life! I hope you all had a good night. Lots of love josie - ha ha - I didn't mean that I meant Jodie. It took me three attempts to type my own name then. It really is time for bed. Love you!!!!!!!