It's 3pm and I have just got home from the costume fitting for my dress for the All Star Talent Show (Live on TV next Friday night!!). The dress looks amazing. I'm so excited (although I'd be more excited if fit barman was here to watch me dance!). I'm really tired today. Last night, after filming Brainiac (and crying yet again in my trailer before the show when one of the crew - a lovely guy called Ed - asked me about the barman), I got the driver to take me and Lauren (who came with me) straight to my brother's gig at Ivory Rooms. Pants, Tony, Russ, Ian and Carolina were already there so I walked in to the biggest cheer from all of them. It was like a continuation of our holiday and we chatted excitedly as we gave my mum and dad the highlights.
I finally plucked up the courage to show my mum and dad the new tattoos (well, not so new anymore since I got them done in Jersey!). They actually really liked the naked woman. Thank God for that! Although my mum asked "is it you?" when she first saw it. ha ha.
After the gig me, Tony, Pants and Russ went to Sugar Hut where we got massively involved in the vodka and JD. None of us were prepared to accept that our holiday was over so we tried to recreate in Sugar Hut the carnage of Aiya Napa. Only problem was, everyone agreed that it just isn't the same without fit barman running about wreaking havoc! We all need him!!!! See... it's not just me. Tony and Pants even told my mum and dad that he's the best bloke they've ever met and that they loved him. That is really saying a lot considering my mates normally can't stand the sight of my boyfriends!
Fit barman called me last night just before I left to go and do Brainiac. I had another little weeping fit and then sorted myself. Hopefully my eyes didn't look too puffy on the show! I think I pulled off the front of being happy anyway, even though inside my heart was wrenching at the thought of him.
On the plus side, we have all decided that we are going to have one more week in Aiya Napa before the season closes. None of us can cope with waiting another year to go back there. We truly had the time of our lives.... So mush so that we are booking it this weekend. At some point in the next seven weeks, all 8 of us are going back! Woooooohoooooooo!!!! Fit barman here I come baby! Although I'm not going to tell him when I 'm coming, we're all just going to turn up and surprise him. I know he'll scream the place down when we walk in. Comedy Matt was texting Tony and Pants last night saying that it's not the same without us all there and wanting to know when we could all meet up. Jordan decided that we should invite everyone we became friends with out there for a massive night out soon. I can't wait!!
On another positive note, my good mate Linsey Dawn Mackenzie is back in England with her gorgeous husband Mark and my Godson Luca. They are coming to mine on Sunday for the evening. My mum is going to look after Luca for a while so that I can take them out in Brentwood. I can't wait to see them!!!!
Tonight my program about my "boob job" is on TV. It's on channel 5 at 10pm. It's called Too Fat, Too Thin, Too Hairy - or something similar. Make sure you watch it or record it or sky plus it or whatever. It should be good. I haven't even seen it myself! I've still got the huge latex boobs. I'm having them framed and put on my wall. They are soooooo realistic. You'll see if you watch the show!
I'm still heartbroken over the barman but I feel a lot happier knowing that I am going to see him in a few weeks. My tears have dried up and now I am going to concentrate on the TV show next Friday night (the All Star Talent Show) and also on having as mush fun as I possibly can.
Last night in Sugar Hut I saw Blondie, the 16 year old I snogged and the ex who is trying to pull me again. I looked at all three of them and thought "yeah, you're all very good-looking but you're not the fit barman!" God it's sad how obsessed I am. Though it makes me feel better to know that all my mates are missing him nearly as mush as me! They all said last night that they wished he lived here with us. We need his madness in our life every day!
I'm going to phone him in a bit and have a chat. I need to hear his voice. I know he's only a phone call or a 4 hour flight away but somehow it's still not enough. I need to be with him!!!!!
Don't forget as well, it's the Essex Air Ambulance Bike Run this Sunday. It starts at about 10am I think in Dunton and we ride to Harwich where there is a big outdoor party. All the money raised goes to the charity and it's the best day ever for bikers!!!! If you are a biker or know someone who is (please tell them!) call Probike Training in Billericay or Essex Air Ambulance to find out the details. It's going to be mental. There'll be 3000 bikes all riding together. And it's EVERY type of bike. I'm on my R6 but there'll be Harley's, cruisers, sports, tourers etc. If you ride a bike, you seriously don't want to miss this event! It's the best!!!!!
So, I am heading into Brentwood now with my brother then I am taking Paddy and Lyla for a walk. After that I am coming home to watch the All Star Talent Show to see exactly what next Friday will entail. I might have a cheeky drink in Brentwood tonight if anyone else is up for it. We are all slowly losing energy now that we're home. It's like being in Heaven for a week and returning to earth with a thud, to have the life and fun sucked out of you. The minute we got on the plane, we all started to fade and wilt. One thing is for sure, being away and having the best time ever has made all of realise that we don't want to stay in Brentwood forever. It's so crap.
Oh.... And on another note. I'm sure I've told you the story on blog before about a slut hooker from Stringfellows trying to sell a lesbian sex story on me to the News of the World and then getting really abusive when I told her that I would sue her if she did. Well, I saw her coming out of Sugar Hut yesterday. They were auditioning girls for a new lap-dancing night. She's barred from all the strip clubs in London for being a known hooker and for trying to sell stories on other celebs. She's also the biggest coke-sniffer known to man. Filth!!!! Anyway, I happened to see her come out and even over-heard her saying how mush she wanted the job. I immediately called the owner (who happens to be my mate) and told him all about her. He ripped her application form up and threw it in the bin. Ah.... What a shame she won't be getting the job!!! What's my favourite phrase again...? Oh yeah...... What goes around comes around. Bitch. If she had of got the job, I, for one, wouldn't set foot in the place ever again. Never mind, she's history. I probably sound like an evil cow but I don't care. What she did to me (and other very well known faces) deserves nothing less than to rot in Hell in for. Because of her drug habit and the fact that she is skint (due to being barred from working anywhere), she will literally do anything for money and that includes trying to destroy people's lives. On top of that, mush as I moan about Brentwood, I do love it deep down. It's a sleepy little town (ok, extremely sleepy - to the point that most people are actually asleep walking around!) and we don't have drug-sniffing hookers here. Well, ok, we have drug-sniffing losers but not drug-sniffing hookers - they are very slightly different, not mush, but slightly. She's the sort of girl who would bring a place like Sugar Hut crashing to the ground. Within a few weeks there would be a story on drugs and prostitution in one of the national newspapers and I know this because the girl sells the stories on herself - the freak!!! She's that low and that desperate for money and/or fame that she'll happily pose naked in a rag paper with the headline "£200 an hour hooker slept with celeb". I know all this cos I know that she has this weird little gay man as her 'agent'. He's the one that gives the stories to the newspapers about her (with her consent). He also contacted me when she was trying to sell one on me and I told him I'd break his legs if I saw a single article connecting me to her. Luckily, one of my good mates being one of the main guys at the New of the World, I managed to find out a lot more about her and also managed to put a stop to any stories she was trying to do about me or other people.
She and all the other desperate drug-taking wannabes are the very reason I rarely go clubbing in London anymore. I just don't want to be around those vile people. I don't want to be constantly looking over my shoulder for fear of who is trying to make some money out of me. They are blood-sucking leeches; parasites. They want a constant supply of drugs, they want more than anything to be famous and they don't care who they f*ck (in both senses of the word) to get that. If a guy has got money they'll latch onto him in the hope that he will spend some of it on them and if there is any way possible that they can get in a newspaper then they will (even if it means degrading themselves and everyone around them in the process with made up lies).
It's not just me that feels like this about these sorts of girls. It's one of two reasons the whole of the London club scene is dead (the other one being the shootings and stabbings that came with the RnB music). People just don't want to go there anymore because of it and therefore the clubs are crap. No cool celebs go out in London anymore and there's no proper party scene. I remember a time when I was partying in Wellington with Robbie Williams and Rick Parfitt from Status Quo. Now you're lucky if you see some muppet from Big Brother 3 in a sh*tty club full of tourists and people with nothing better to do. No thank you, I'd rather stay in my boring sleepy town, get drunk out of my face without the worry that some c*ck will call a newspaper, and roll into my bed happy and smiling. Gone are the good old days of not coming home for 3 days on end and crashing on people's floors in the West End. It's a shame but that's the way it is. If we want fun now, we have to make our own.
So, in conclusion to that rant; the man-in-drag (which is what the hooker looks like) will not be working in Brentwood. She had a wasted trip all the way from Hastings. Poor love. And if I do see her shrivelled ugly face here again, I'll burn Sugar Hut down with her inside of it (joke). Ha ha. Seriously though, I've spent 2 years avoiding her and her scabby crowd. I don't need them turning up on my doorstep. Brentwood is a very small place and if there's one thing that would make me leave here forever (apart from Valentino) it's drug-taking c*nt whores like her. That said, I'm sure some of the pathetic little boys here would love to spend some money on her. If it meant getting an easy shag off a girl with fake tits and a baggy you-know-what then they'll get the champagne in!
So, I'm off now. Motorbike Paul is coming over to listen to my woes. He got back from 5 weeks in America while I was in Cyprus so we've got lots to catch up on. He came to the gig last night but there was too mush to tell him in one go. I tell him absolutely everything and he always gives me amazing advice and tells me straight how it is. The last he knew, I was chasing Fancy Boy and very very frustrated! Blimey - so mush has happened!!! There's been my mental stint after the murderer got jailed, the 6 men on my case at one time, Blondie, the Most Beautiful Man in the World, the celeb, the 16 year old, the best dressed man ever and of course falling in love in Cyprus and crying for two days!!!!! The last thing he said to me was "forget Fancy Boy - he doesn't deserve you!" - I wonder what he's going to say about the barman. Not that I care, I'm flying back to be by his side soon!!!! Yippeeeeeee!
Lots of love - don't forget I'm on TV tonight (10pm channel 5) and the motorbike run is on Sunday.
Jodie (still feeling weak and weepy)
xxxxxx
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