Why oh why do I do it? I am too scared to read what I wrote when I came in last night. I remember writing a blog and I remember Kyle sitting with me laughing. I have no idea what I said though. Last night was so mush fun. I was supposed to go to a wedding but me and Kyle had a meeting last night about work and we didn't get out til so late that there was no point in going cos it was so far away. Instead we jumped in the shower, threw on some party clothes and ran down to Sugar Hut to get drunk. While I was getting ready doing my make-up I said to Kyle "should I do natural eyes or thick black and glitter eyes?" he laughed and said "what are you even asking for?" as he reached for the glitter. I ended up going out with eyes that a drag queen would have been proud of. They looked nice though (not too silly). I did Pammie style black eyes and giant lashes with a slick of silver glitter just on my lash-line. Today my whole face is covered in silver glitter. It's that annoying type that won't even come off in the shower. I know I'm still going to have traces of it on me for another week!
It was a great night though. We were dancing on two armchairs next to the DJ stand at one point and a girl came over and said "I'm just warning you that we've paid for this table and that erm the doormen will probably throw you out if you carry on dancing up there". I said to her really nicely "Ah thanks babe but the owner of the club is one of my best mates and he knows we're dancing up here so it's fine". The funny thing is that she hadn't paid for the table at all (I knew the people who had and they are mates of mine - she was just hanging round trying to pull one of the fit boys) and the chairs we were dancing on weren't even part of that table - they were just next to it. She wouldn't drop it though (perhaps she didn't hear me say the owner is my best mate I thought?) she said "no I mean it! I'm just trying to do you a favour cos everyone has got the hump with you dancing up there and they're all talking about it and the doormen WILL throw you out. I'm just trying to save you the embarrassment!" I replied "Well like I said, thank you, but I don't think you heard me; the OWNER OF THE CLUB is my best mate and he knows I'm dancing up here cos he's been stood here for the last hour with me!" (at this point I actually had my own doorman watching over me from a few yards away. Whenever they can spare a doorman they give me one to keep an eye that I'm ok - there are sooooo many freaks on an average night out!). She still had to get the last word in (even after she had digested what I'd just said) and snapped "well; it's up to you - I'm just warning you!" me and Kyle laughed our heads off. Kyle said "I think what she meant to say was 'Can you get down please cos while you're up there all the attention is on you and I can't handle it' - I've NEVER seen so mush jealousy!" He's right though; I mean I was having an absolute whale of a time. I was messing about with the DJ, talking to a group of guys at the bar and dancing on the chair. A group of boys kept buying me shots (which I kept making Kyle do otherwise I'd have been sick) and another group kept taking it in turns to have their picture taken with me. I wasn't harming anyone, I wasn't being a twat. I was just dancing and enjoying myself. The girl came back later and said to Kyle "well can you at least tell her to pull her trousers up!" Kyle replied "No - they're not LOW enough for me! If I had my way I'd have them showing her crack" (don't you just love gay men - what would the world be like without them?!) The joke of it is that the trousers I was wearing last night were very respectable and not showing any bum-crack at all. Not like some of my creations that show my whole bum! She'd have died if I'd REALLY got dressed up last night! She probably would have fled the building in tears. Jeez though just live and let live. I would never dream of going up to someone to comment on their choice of outfit (and especially not someone in the public eye). I think she was a little bit of a mentalist. That was the only issue we had in there though. Other than that it was great. Wow - a whole night of fun and no problems! Ha ha. Kyle and I befriended everyone within a 20 yard radius and were drinking and dancing with all of them. There were some very fit men in there but since I'm off men and not really interested I didn't spend too mush time with anyone in particular. One guy who I had met before in 195 in Epping tried to buy me a drink but I already had two lined up on the bar (plus I had the managers swipe card in my pocket to allow me as many drinks as I wanted). I told him politely that I already had two and he said "well you can buy me one then". Nice try but no. He kept saying "Don't mug me off!" and I kept saying "I'm not" - I don't know how he thought I was mugging him off (was it just because I wouldn't buy him a drink?) but I told him he needed to chill out and calm down. He was talking at about 1000 words a minute and trying anything he could think of to make me interested in him. Eventually I put my hand over his mouth and he stopped. It all went quiet and he just looked at me. I slowly took my hand away and he smiled; a cute soft, sheepish smile. "That's better" I said. He looked into my eyes and suddenly became very sexy. Without the speedy rambling and silly comments he was really very fit and had an amazing face and smile. See - I should do a tour of England; educating men on how to be sexy. The whole time he was tripping over his own tongue to say things to me I was thinking "how can I make a fast get-away from this one?" and as soon as he stopped and smiled he became cool and sexy. He knew it too and didn't say another word to me. Instead we exchanged a sexy smile and I carried on my night of dancing on the sofa.
Boys learn a lesson - sometimes a thousand words can be spoken with just your eyes and sometimes you need to actually speak to let us know what's on your mind (if it's not clear and you're giving mixed signals). We are not all mind readers (well I am sometimes) - we need to be told what it is you're thinking and what it is you want. Other than that; if there's nothing to be said then just tease us with your eyes because it can say so mush more. I know that if I'm really into someone I look deeply into their eyes when I talk to them, when I make love to them and when I just want them. If I'm not that into someone I don't make mush eye contact (or if I'm nervous or if I'm scared that I might jump their bones there and then). Eye contact is such a powerful thing. I believe that your eyes ARE the key to your soul. Using eye contact alone you can say "I want you sooooo badly!" or " I love you" or even "I hate you" without actually having to say the words. I love nothing more than being near someone you like or love and just sharing glances every now and then. Like; if you're in a club with your bloke and all around you people are drunk and dancing and every so often you catch each other's glance and hold it for a second. You are letting each other know that no matter what is going on around you; you still want each other more than anything (and you KNOW you're gonna have some fun when you get home).
Seriously boys you need to learn when is the right time to shut up and let your eyes do the talking and you also need to learn when to speak up. If you owe someone an explanation or if you love someone or even if you want to separate and go your own way - you need sometimes to speak up. Stand up for what you want and don't shuffle. There's nothing worse than a shuffling man (unless he's shuffling cos he's about to tell you he loves you and then that's cute!). At the same time though; if nothing needs to be said then don't say it. A lingering look can speak volumes and can mean the world. I wish I could give you a guide on when to speak and when not to. I've had enough of being "the man" in relationships. It's always me who has the balls big enough to just confront a problem or to get to the bottom of something that's not right. Meanwhile the man shuffles around not knowing what to say or do. So many times over the years I've been in an argument with a bloke over something stupid and all I've really wanted is for them to sweep me into their arms and give me a deep and tender kiss. They never get it though! They'll stand there and row and not even realise that I don't want that. I really have had it with arguments though. I will never again tolerate one in a relationship. They make me feel so sad and angry and hurt and stressed. They're the worst thing in the whole world. Are you hearing me all you men out there?! Love your woman; don't argue with her! Tell her what's on your mind if there is something and if there isn't, just say "I want your body" with your eyes and wey-hey off you go! It's really not that hard. If you've been a twat, if you love someone, if you don't love someone; if there is any issue whatsoever that you will feel better getting closure or understanding on then talk about it. Clear everything up and get it off your chest; and if not just go and make beautiful love on a furry rug in front of the fire (I can't WAIT for winter so that I can light my fire! I've got a big open fireplace in my lounge! Woohooo!). Men of the world owe it to us girls to be honest and to speak up and they also owe it to us to be quiet and to look deeply into our eyes whilst cuddling us. Eye contact is a beautiful thing.
So at the end of the night we got chatting to some of Tony trumpet's band mates. They had all been to a ball and turned up late in Sugar Hut wearing tuxes. Eventually we got in a car to go home and when we came in we both had massive giggling fits and we made crisp sandwiches. I knew I needed to eat something to soak up the 4 vodkas but I wasn't capable of doing anything more complicated! I also drank a pint of Jersey milk. It's the best milk ever! Tesco's 'Finest' no less. Ha ha. This morning we got up and had some breakfast and watched TV (Kyle managed to find the only two programs out of 900 that were about fairground rides and fit men - our two big loves!). I have been running round trying to find my camera battery charger (I still can't find it) cos we are going to the break-dancing thing in a minute and I want to take some pictures and film some of it. I wish I had psychic powers at times like this!
Tomorrow I am rehearsing for the All Star Talent Show. I can't believe it's the Final this Friday! It has come round so quick! I thought I had ages and it's here already! I think we've got to change some of the dance to make it more impressive but they have only given us four hours in which to change it, memorise it and perfect it. Considering I haven't danced professionally for years it's quite a challenge! I'm looking forward to it though and especially looking forward to seeing Vanessa and the crew. I hope Ben's up for some hard work cos I want this to be the best dance ever! Last time around I was nervous but happy - this time I want to look amazing and elegant. It's the last time my mum's gonna see me looking so beautiful so I want to do her proud! Well, other than if I ever get married but even then I'll probably do it on a motorbike or in a bikini on the beach! Ha ha. Tuesday I have meetings with TV producers. Very high-up TV producers and I'm looking forward to them. It's a chance to put my own ideas forward and to get working on something that will keep me busy for a long time. Oh and also before I forget, my show of It's Me Or The Dog is on Tuesday night on Channel 4. Make sure you watch it - lots of cute puppies (my own pair and the dogs).
I'm off to perve over the best male break-dancers in the world from my VIP gallery seats. Oh the joys of being famous and being able to perve with a good view!! Ha ha. Have a lovely Sunday and if I'm bored when I get in I'll write again. If not I'll write tomorrow with tales of dancing and joy........
Lots and lots of love and soft kisses
Jodie x x x x x
P.S I'm so excited to be dancing again tomorrow!!!! I still wish I could do this every day for a living. I might work on Vanessa again to move abroad with me and set up a dance school! I don't want this show to be over!!!! I joked with one of the crew the other day that when it finishes they should make a show called The All Jodie Talent Show and every week it's just me doing all different dances. Ha ha. Obviously that wouldn't work at all but it was a nice idea I thought?! Ha ha. I said we could keep it going for a year! A TV show that never ends! Ha ha. Byeeeeeeeeeeeee
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