7th October 2006 - You wanna know what happened....?

See - you switch off to your feelings and move on. You dance wildly with your mates all night and what happens? You pull. When you least expect it! I'm not saying who it was (cos it IS someone I've talked about in the last few months) but OH MY GOD he's amazing! Don't worry - I'm not getting carried away. I'm not going to fall head over heels in love and I'm not even going to let myself care about him in a deep way. I'm just going to have as mush fun as I possibly can with someone who's extremely fit and nice and clever. My God; who'd have thought that last night was going to be so amazing?! Ha ha. I am still smiling at the memory of him being ALL man and taking control of me in the way he did. You're not getting any more information than that (sorry!) but let's just say I have needed that for a VERY long time. He has a body to die for and the manliness to go with it. He's keen without being weird and he's cute enough to treat me with care and caution (and he's willing to try anything). I am extremely pleased with myself (and a VERY lucky girl!).

Everything I've said recently still goes. I still don't want a relationship; I want to have the title "single". I still think there aren't many men who deserve my time, body, intelligence and wit ;) and I still think that most men are weak and wet (well the ones I meet anyway) BUT this one is different (praise the Lord there are some good ones left!). Emily's book has sorted me right out cos before I read it, I probably would haven fallen head over heels already and I would be wanting to move him in but because my head is in such a good place; I am not thinking about it as anything other than a bit of fun and somebody to share those lonely nights with. I mean, that's not to say that something serious won't develop in the future with him cos it might but right now I am happy to just take it very slowly and enjoy every inch of his perfectly toned bum, hard thighs, beautiful pecs and massive shoulders (the best bit!). Seriously; I'm grinning form ear to ear as I type this and I keep getting waves of excitement in my belly!

So last night me and Sarah were getting ready to go out and gay Stevie phoned to say he was coming out too. Lauren arrived at mine and the three of us went to my brother's gig at the Horse and Groom. All the usual crowd were there (Tony trumpet, Carolina, Little Rob, Big Rob, Rusty, Laura, Tasha, marge and parge and of course gay Stevie). Jord played a wicked Rock n Roll set and we sung at the tops of our voices and danced like loons. Me, Sarah, Lauren and Steve then left to go to Sugar Hut. Once there we got given a bottle of vodka and we got straight to dancing on tables. Russ and Tony joined us in there later on as well. Come the end of the night I was quite drunk and ready to go home. I suddenly spotted the object of previous attention and slurred to Sarah "that's the one that turned me down!" and then "Urrrgh - I don't even wanna LOOk at him!" Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) he heard me and came over to say that he hadn't turned me down, that he actually DID like me and that I had got it all wrong. With that I had him pinned up against the wall in the kitchen (after pushing him through the doors) demanding to know why he had given me such mixed signals. Five minutes later my mate Gary came in, saw me giving him the third degree and demanded that he take me home now and "give me a good seeing to!" ha ha. We left the club hand in hand a few minutes later and went straight to bed (well after I'd made him watch the video of the All Star Talent Show) to chat and have a cuddle.

It was such a great night. I genuinely didn't care about men at all. Even when I was giving the guy hassle in the kitchen; it was more about listening to what he had to say than trying to pull him. I was genuinely interested in his logic behind it cos I really thought he didn't like me. Also I wanted to tell him to stop messing girls about cos even though by that point I didn't care; I wanted him to know that he shouldn't behave like that. Ha ha. I thought I could just set him straight on a few things. Little was I to know that he was going to rise to the occasion like he did. He totally shocked me with his manliness and control. He was a joy to be around and actually gave great conversation. Once back at mine we lay on my bed chatting for ages and he surprised me with his intellect (as well as amazing body). He's very switched on and even spotted things that most people fail to spot. For example; whenever people talk to me about Big Brother, they always say how horrible Michael Barrymore and Pete Burns were. They never mention the fact that the Lubbock family STILL don't know what happened to their son in Michael Barrymore's swimming pool. It really winds me up that so many people miss that point and that actually THAT is the very reason I hate Michael Barrymore; for NOT offering peace of mind (it's not because he's a shaking wreck and twat of a man although I do hate him for that as well - who the HELL does he think he is trying to offer ME advice about life anyway?!!!). Anyway, somehow me and the gorgeous one got onto the subject of Big Brother and the first thing he said was "Do you know; it makes me SICK that that poor family, the Lubbocks is it? They still don't know the truth about what happened to their son. It's a disgrace that they even put that man on TV when he still could be a murderer for all we know!" - Oh My goodness - have I finally met the man of my dreams or what?!!! He's got a brain!! Mum - he's got a brain! He GETS it! He thinks the same way I do! He gets the real reason why EVERYONE should hate Michael Barrymore; not because he's a nasty, hypocritical, sarcastic, preaching twat; but because he has still never given peace of mind to that poor family (or not to my knowledge at least - and I apologise if I've got this wrong and if he has but even so - a little f*cking late isn't it?!). Like I've said before; gory and brutal as it was, if I didn't know how Kim died I reckon I'd be in a straight jacket by now. It's only knowing what happened that allows you to have some sort of closure on it (and anyone who has lost someone - especially to murder - will know exactly what I'm talking about!).

So, moving on...... the gorgeous one has exceeded all my expectations and made me very happy. Today I can't stop smiling. I'm buzzing!

It was great to be out with Sarah and Stevie last night. Since they both left Sugar Hut (more than 6 months ago) we haven't really had a proper night out together. We've all been so busy and live so far apart that it's been difficult. Last night we made up for it by going nuts!!! Sarah, Stevie, Lauren and the gorgeous one all stayed at mine and when we first got back there, I made everyone watch the All Star Talent Show (with me in it). I think I just wanted to show the gorgeous one that I can look elegant and that I can do something other than get my boobs out. Ha ha. He loved it (and so did I - I could watch that every day for the rest of my life and NEVER get bored!).

Today everyone left and I went to meet Jordan for lunch. Lauren was already in Brentwood so she joined us and Jord's mate Steph joined us too. Steph rides a Harley so she and Jordan had been out all morning riding. After lunch I hopped on the back of Jord's bike and we have been out riding all afternoon. It was wicked!! I would have taken my bike but I was feeling too weak and shakey to ride, plus I wanted to have a little go on his. We stopped off at a pub to get a drink and then bombed it round some country lanes. After having the wind in my face for a few hours I feel right as rain again. His bike is awesome! It's a Triumph Speedmaster and it looks the nuts! We're gonna have so mush fun now that he has a bike too!! Late afternoon Kyle then arrived at the station and I went to pick him up. It's like a conveyor belt of people at my house. One leaves and the next one arrives! I've had an amazing week with Sarah and now I'm going to have a mad weekend with Kyle. My mates are the best!

So I have come to the conclusion that everyone else is right! When you least expect it someone comes along and shows you the best time you've had in ages. As soon as I get to the point where I don't have room in my brain for men, I pull the fittest one around and get shown a good time. My clothes are still strewn everywhere (out of sheer passion) and are a great reminder of the joys of being able to take the occasional gorgeous man home for some fun. Thank you God for bringing me this delightful specimen! Ha ha. He has already texted me today to ask if I enjoyed myself last night and my heart skipped a beat as I texted back that he is "exactly what I need right now!" Pure pleasure in the form of a fit man. Willing and able and totally gorgeous. Even his armpits smelt amazing. Ha ha. You know about my armpit fetish don't you?! In fact everything about him was just perfect. He is what I would put on my Christmas list for Santa to bring me. I can't believe Christmas came early! ;)

I hope you all had as good a night as me last night. Sorry - just to change the subject - I have just turned to see Paddy washing Lyla's whole face! It's so cute. They've been sitting in the garden together. At one point it looked like they were having a chat. Now they are acting like a loved up couple. I LOVE to see that! It makes me feel all warm and squidgy inside.

I'm off to watch X Factor now with Kyle. Have a great Saturday night and I'll write again tomorrow. All my love from a truly satisfied and GLOWING Jodie

Xxxxxx

P.S Thank you thank you thank you thank you God for giving me the medicine to all ailments! He is the tonic I've needed, the joy, the sin, the manliness and the perfection I've craved for soooooooooo long. I'm not going to fall in love, heck I might not even ever see him again but thank you for last night (and thanks to Gary too who set it up for me!). I am still wearing the sexy underwear from last night (yes I know I'm a skank) but I feel amazing. Finally someone has appreciated every bit of it and has provided for me in a way Fran never could ;) Thank God also for men! They are the greatest thing on earth!!! ha ha.