Last night? AMAZING!!! We had over 200 friends turn up to see Jordan play. Everyone loved it and got very drunk. Two big record companies have called a meeting with Jordan and Sanctuary cos they wanna sign him up. I'm so proud of him. Lots of famous faces turned up aswell, all my mates of course: Ricardo, Nadia from Big Brother, Dave Morgan (Mr ex Jesse Wallace), Chris Parker Eastenders, Callum Best, D.T Mr "do you really like it, is it is it wicked", Ben from Phats n Small, Charlene Hart glamour model, 4th Base the fit band in the final of X Factor at the mo, Becki from Big Brother, Rupert Young - Will's twin bro to name a few. It was truly a brilliant night. Fran Cosgrave, knowing full well that it was my brother's night showed his ugly face and stupid haircut. God only knows why he turned up. I was gonna spit in his sweaty mug and I offered Dave Morgan a grand to lay him out. He was gonna do it but Mark Fuller the owner of Embassy begged me not to cause trouble inside the club. Fran the freak had a bodyguard with him. Yes, you read that right. Your eyes do not deceive you - A BODYGUARD!!!!!!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha. The only conclusion I can draw from the ridiculousness of that is that so many people hate him in London, he NEEDS protection. He can't honestly think he's that big or famous that he needs one. I'm more famous than him (well, it was ME that made HIM famous) and I don't take a bodyguard out with me. What a loser. Even worse than that - it was a female bodyguard!! He must be even more a wimp than I already knew he was if he thinks a woman is gonna protect him better than he can protect himself. Oh well, you know the world's gone insane when you can get famous for shagging someone then you bowl around with a bodyguard cos you think it makes you look important! God help us all!
Anyway, when my bro finished playing, I took all the important people to China White's and we filled the VIP room with our own private party. I had about a hundred phone calls today from journalists asking who I was with out of Dave Morgan, Chris Parker and Blair from X Factor!! Didn't give anything away but I did snog one of them! They got snaps of me holding hands with all of them but they are all my mates and have been for a while. I hold hands with all my mates so nothing new there. China's was good anyway. Nadia was dancing on a table with Ricardo (who was trying to pull all Dave's firemen mates), My brother was being harrassed by all the groupie girls that had been at the gig, Sadie, my make up artist, was drunkenly dancing with Chris Parker and I was dancing with just about the whole club at various different times. Kyle, my best mate (and future sperm donor to my babies) was trying to keep control of the situation - I think he was the only sober person in the room which makes a change cos normally its me, and Kyle only has one eye open when he's drunk!
Went for lunch with my brother and Dave today. Dave and I were in a bad way and spent the afternoon laying on a bed in Sugar Hut in Brentwood resting our hangovers! Feeling mush better now and going out again tonight with school teacher Lauren. She made her kids write an essay on me the other day! Quality. The objective was to write a comparitive essay so she wrote some examples on the board using me and Jordan (hideous one - not my brother). She wrote: Jodie has an extremely high level of intelligence whereas Jordan is illiterate. Jodie is naturally pretty whereas Jordan has big fake boobs therefore I conclude that Jodie is a far better role model in society. I LOVE LAUREN!!!!! ha ha. It's just genius teaching. Teach all kids that I'm great!
Got my script through today for a film I'm doing next week with Jerry Hall. It was emailed to my mum and she printed off the 300 pages only to discover that I had 4 lines. Comedy. Oh well, it's a start! I'm sure Liz Hurley didn't get to do blockbusters straight away - i'm sure she had her boobs out at some point before she made it big! I know Geri Halliwell did nudey pix but then she's not an actress. We all have to start somewhere!
Tomorrow night at 7pm I'm doing an abseil down Centre Point. Scary stuff, It's 500 ft high! that's filth. I know i'm gonna get to the top and not wanna jump off. They're beaming a giant image of me onto the side of the building so should be quite exciting. It's for the R.N.I.B. I've done two aerial slides for them before. They're a wicked charity and I love working with them but I know tomorrow night I'll be asking myself "WHY?" when I'm looking down on a tiny London. All for a good cause Jodie!
Oh, and just gotta tell you about a guy I was seeing cos it's funny. I met him a few weeks ago. We'd been on 5 dates, nothing more than a snog each time. He's just a normal guy. Student in fact. I really liked him, correction, I didn't know him that well, I really FANCIED him. Things were going well or they were until one of mates (who I'm not talking to at the moment) kicked off in front of him and caused the biggest scene on earth. Basically she was tired and didn't want to be out so decided to cause a row, in the process of which making herself and me look really bad. He was in the middle of it all and I knew it was so ugly that he wouldn't wanna know afterwards. I didn't blame him but was suprised when he turned up at the gig last night and told Sarah the "real reason he didn't wanna be with me was that he didn't wanna hurt me and that he knew he would"!! Oh my goodness! Not sure if he knows anything about me but there's a very good reason i've got the word "heart-breaker" tattooed on my leg. He's 22 years old and i'm this country's biggest man-eater! I almost wanna make him fall in love with me now just to trample his heart into the ground and make him beg on his knees on my drive way to marry him in floods of tears when I end it - like Scott Wright did! Bless him. I would feel sorry for Scott (its never nice to see a grown man cry but worse to see him beg on his knees) but I don't cos the prick then sold a story on me which was not only completely untrue but i'm sure he got paid handsomely for anyway. He actually had the cheek to say in the story that I was "alright in bed". PURLEEEASE!!!! The day i'm just "alright" in bed is the day Scott actually stops drinking ie. It's never gonna happen! He even told me that I was the first girl in THREE YEARS to give him an erection (and admitted as mush on camera on Trust Me I'm a Holiday Rep) That just about says it all. Losers the lot of 'em. If I was just alright in bed, I'd hate to see what someone amazing would do to him. ha ha. I blew his socks off and he knows it. He's never had it so good and THAT'S why he was on his knees on my drive begging me to marry him after I dumped him for drinking too mush. Ah well, never mind - you live n learn. DO NOT go out with failed actors Jodie Marsh. They're only looking for a way back in and a free ride. Shame I never spot it straight away or I wouldn't have to break so many hearts when it goes pear shaped! Anyway, Justin the student, if you're reading this; you're probably right not to wanna see me anymore, although not for the reason you gave - for the very fact that I'll think I'm in love with you for a few weeks til the magic wears off then I'll start to see all your weaknesses and you 'll probably be everything I don't want in a man then I'll be forced to end it - after you've fallen hook line and sinker - and your heart will get mashed into the ground (after a herd of elephants have already charged over it). My tattoo is a warning to all nice men that they should stay well away cos unless you are Robbie Williams, Paul Weller, Marshall Mathers or Cris Judd - I'll hurt you. The only shame about the whole Justin situation is that this weekend I had arranged for him to do the 500ft abseil with me. It cost me 250 quid. I wanted to do something special for him and for it to be really memorable. Until now, we'd only gone to nightclubs on our dates and I wanted him to start seeing the real me and know that there was a lot more to me than being able to dance well. He didn't know I'd arranged that and unless he reads this, he won't know. Shame - oh well - his loss. He didn't ride a motorbike anyway!
I'm off to get ready for another night of carnage now. Hopefully I'll meet a motorbike riding, vegetarian animal lover with a big willy tonight
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