Phew...... I am the most tired I've ever been in my entire life. I've lived on caffeine for the last three days, due to not having enough time to eat decent meals and not having the energy to keep going without it. Two finger nails are broken, I only have 3 rat tail hair extensions left on the whole of my head and I am renaming myself "Marsh Removals & Co". My new house is nearly ready (I mean every room only has about 3 minor things left to do in it, like mirrors put up or whatever). I am kind of living there; in between shouting at carpenters, picking things up in my brother's big white van and roping every friend I have into doing odd jobs for me around the place.
It is officially the most beautiful house in the world. As soon as it is totally finished, I'm going to take loads of pics and put them on the site so you can all see it. I really don't want to bore you all with more talk about it and how I've been painting, decorating, buying stuff and carting stuff about in vans, so I won't tell you anything about the last few days. I left off with last Thursday when we were all going to 195 I think. Well, Steve got so drunk he fell asleep in the club and consequently I didn't even have a drink as I had to take him home! It was good though, although no eye candy whatsoever! Shame. Even though I'm single and don't particularly want a boyfriend (except for craving a good session with a certain ex of mine lately - oh ok, Scott Sullivan if you must know - don't even know why, I think it's cos I saw him before xmas and he looked amazing), it's still nice to look! Kenzie was at 195 and we had a massive cuddle and lots of chats. He told me how upset he was with Sneak magazine. A few weeks ago they printed a big piece about how Kenz had a new girlfriend and he had apparently said to Sneak that now he had a girlfriend, he "won't be talking to Jodie anymore". Of course, as per normal, he didn't say that. I knew that anyway as we speak on the phone constantly, see each other at least once a week and he was the first person to ring me the night I came out of Big Brother. He even spent the week I was inside the house on the phone to my mum, dad and brother, comforting them. Anyway, Kenz told me that things aren't going too well with the new girl and I told him I'd kill her if she messed him around. He asked me if he was "too nice"? I told him if he ever changed, I'd kill him too. The very reason I love him and everyone else loves him, is because he's so amazingly lovely. It's so awful though that I can't even have best friends without these stupid magazines trying to make it look like everyone hates me. Me and Kenz will be friends for life. Even his mum likes me now (she didn't when we were together). My parents are like a second family to him and there will never be a time when we don't talk or meet up. It baffles me as to why Sneak would try to make out that he doesn't want anything to do with me. Oh well, like I always say..... Don't believe it unless I tell you it's true.
We all then went out again on the Saturday night to Sugar Hut as Sarah has now left there and Sat was her last night. Me, Jord, Tony, Russ and Lauren all went to see her off in style, which meant us all getting so drunk we couldn't stand up. This time it was Tony's turn to fall asleep in the club. A tiny bit of eye candy in there but I think actually I was at that drunken point where you start to look at people you wouldn't normally look at and think they are fit. Sunday, Kyle got the train down and it is now coming up to midnight on Tuesday and I have just got back from dropping him at the station to go home.
Me, Kyle, Sarah, Dave, Lauren and my bro all went to the cinema last night to watch Brokeback Mountain - the film about the two gay men who fall in love. Well, let me tell you, I haven't been able to stop thinking about the two guys in it ever since! Heath Ledger and Jake wotsisname. OH MY GOD!!!! The two fittest men alive snogging each other..... heaven to my eyeballs. You know how a straight man feels about watching two women together (it's mostly their ultimate fantasy), well, I am the same about two fit men together. There is NOTHING more of a turn on than watching two fit men kissing passionately, and I can now think of nothing other than Jake and Heath rolling around dressed as cowboys. It's absolutely done me in. I had Lauren one side of me and Kyle the other side as we watched it and the three of us sat dribbling for the whole film. Dave fell asleep and my bro half-watched it as he texted his missus for the other half. I am DEFINITELY buying that on DVD when it comes out!! Also it has made me want to snog one of our mates Dave (not Morgan - Dave sax-player) as he is the absolute spitting image of Jake thingy in the film. Might have to get him drunk and take advantage of him next time we're out. Ha ha.
Blimey, you can tell I'm single - I can't think of anything but fit men, ex's, look-a-likes of famous film stars and gay men kissing! My brain is on serious melt-down after that film though. Girls - go see it!
I had a phone call today that made me smile. Cris Judd might be coming back into the country very soon. Nice. If he does come I'll have to make some time to see him me thinks. Fit man who can dance? Even better. Mmmmmmn. Yum. Bring it on.
Love It magazine came out today. It's the mag I did a shoot for last week. I haven't seen it yet. I'm hoping the pictures aren't too minging. I'll get it on my way to work tomorrow though and see what it's like. Had a couple of great TV meetings yesterday. Can't say what about but I'm now in talks with two different channels about doing my own TV shows. It's all very exciting.
One of the main girls at Refuge called me today and apparently the money I raised from phone calls on Big Brother could be as mush as £50,000 for my charity. I've chosen to split it between Refuge and Beat Bullying so they are over the moon. Refuge sent me a bunch of flowers a few days ago which were beautiful. Also Sandra Horley, who is the chief executive of Refuge, called my mum while I was in Big Brother to see how she was bearing up with watching her daughter being ripped to shreds by old men. Beat Bullying and Refuge both fought my corner while I was in there, which is just so amazing. Both charities have the best and nicest people and they also both know I'll do anything to help them.
I've just been told that I've got until the end of this month to give my publishers the update of my book for the paperback, due out this spring. That basically means that I have to add about 5 chapters detailing everything that has happened since I finished writing it, which was December 2004. That is a whole year of stuff!!! I'll obviously be talking all about Kenzie in it, but also a few other boyfriends I've had since then, plus all the Trust Me I'm a Holiday Rep shaninigans and Big Brother bother. I'm in two minds as to whether I should name the A-list superstar that called me up and asked me to go over to his for the night a few months back. On the one hand, If I do then I'll definitely ruin any future happenings with him as he probably doesn't want me telling everyone how he tracked down my number and came to calling me 7 times in a row one night, but on the other hand, it's a part of my life, I'm writing my life story, it's very interesting and I just KNOW that you lot would love it. I'll let you know what I decide to do. I will be putting in how I proposed to someone recently though (I haven't told anyone about that yet), how I nearly fainted when I stood next to Valentino Rossi, how Scott Wright from Corrie came to be crying on his hands and knees on my drive and how I cheated on someone for the first time in my whole life last year (again, I haven't actually admitted this before - not something I'm proud of). I'll also go into detail of how I had sex in a nightclub (for all those who only buy autobiographies to have a perve) and how two friends had to stand in front of me and dance wildly to distract people from looking at me and realising what I was doing (got to include some juicy bits like that! I know it's so very wrong and I am going to grow up and act responsibly very soon, it was just such great fun though - not to mention thoroughly naughty and thrilling), I'll explain honestly what mine and Kenzie's relationship was like and why we came to split up and I'll tell you exactly what happened with Cris Judd in all it's glory.
Enough book stuff anyway, I've got 3 weeks to write it so I better get started on it instead of waffling on here about what I'm going to put in it. After that I have to get cracking on my first novel and my sex-guide which I'll hopefully have at least one of out by Christmas. The sex-guide is going to include all my own personal experiences as well as tips and tricks for women to learn how to turn their man on properly and keep him wanting you forever more (remember people - I've never been dumped) and the same for men. Finally men will have something to read that tells them really and truly how to make a woman come without all that rubbish you read in sex-columns about tracing letters of the alphabet with your tongue (that surely hasn't ever worked for anyone?!). I'm looking forward to spending the next twenty years writing anyway. By the time I die, I plan to be a shrivelled old woman stuck in a sitting down position with my fingers glued to a keyboard. Writing is all I want to do long-term and write I will. The plan is one novel a year at the very least. It's all good.
Back to Marsh life.... me and Kyle have had the funniest few days. We have turned into two builders what with doing all the house stuff and lugging furniture up and down stairs etc. We are even dressing and talking like builders. I haven't worn a scrap of make up for what feels like months and I can recite the excact measurements of every window in my whole house. I now know what it means to hang a blind "in the recess" of a window, I know the standard measurements of a comuputer desk, I know the difference between a screw-in and a bayonet lightbulb, I know how to plumb a washing machine in, I know where to get the cheapest and best deals on all household furniture and most importantly of all, I know how to make a filter coffee. Lastly I know the difference between a big screw and a little screw....... ha ha, sorry, had to be done and it was actually Tony who came up with that (he's sitting beside me, having just come back from the pub with Jord and Russ and some random girl that Russ has pulled).
Going back to Thursday night at 195, just before Steve fell asleep on the table, he had to pretend to be my boyfriend as a drunk guy harrassed me and wouldn't take no for an answer. I've never seen a gay guy switch so quickly from mincing, camp queen to stiff, manly, deep-voiced geezer. Hilarious. I knew he had it in him, the old boy. I even fancied him a bit when he became a 'heterosexual' for ten minutes. At the end of the night, I spent half an hour trying to get Steve in the car and another half an hour trying to put Tony and Steve to bed in seperate rooms without waking marge and parge up. Steve was sick on the street outside (sorry Steve) and I went to bed with Paddy.
Very soon I'm going to go out and get steaming drunk and make Tony and Steve carry me home after falling asleep on the dance floor. I seem to always be the sensible one lately, while everyone else is falling asleep or being sick, I'm worrying about how I'm going to get them home. I'm not that old yet - I need to get back on the scene I feel. Maybe this weekend is going to be the big one!
As I write this, Sarah and Dave are stuck on the motorway waiting for the AA to come and rescue them as Dave put petrol in Sarah's diesel car. Comedy. Nice one Dave. He'll never live it down. Already my brother and Russ have texted him saying "got any diesel mate?". Dave's R1 bike is at my house, ready to go for a bike ride with me tomorrow if the weather is good. He's had it sprayed and stickered up to be an exact copy of Rossi's bike and it turns me on to even look at it. First thing in the morning I have two meetings at my agent's office then I'm coming back to don leathers and helmet and go riding. One of the meetings is with MTV for the show that is being advertised on the front page of my website. I can't tell you anything about it as it's top secret but if you do wanna meet me and take part in a TV show then do get in touch. The number is on the home page.
Syd Little rang me last night and we had a half hour chat about how hideous Big Brother was and how he wanted to break in and rescue me (funny cos Lisa from Refuge said that Refuge were also planning to fly a helipcopter over the garden and airlift me out!). Syd is 62 years old and a devout Christian and he loves me. He said that Barrymore was evil and that none of them gave me a chance. I love Syd. Syd's my hero! :) Seriously though, it just shows that if I can get along with (and love and be loved by) a 62 year old Christian man then I can't be that bad, can I?! ha ha. Listen up, if Syd Little (of comedy legends Little and Large) calls me "his daughter" then I don't need approval from anyone else, especially not people like Barrymore, Burns and Galloway - man on the edge, man who wants to ba a woman but pretends he doesn't and disgraced politician.
I know I'm going on a bit again now - what's new?! I'm going to love you and leave you so I can join Rusty, Jord, Tony and random girl in the lounge for a cup of tea. I was at Brentwood police station til 4am this morning so I'm shattered (I'll tell you all about it tomorrow). Tonight I'm hoping to have erotic dreams about Cris Judd, Scott Sullivan, Heath and Jake kissing me (and each other) and gay Steve being all manly. I'll talk to you tomorrow in between meetings, bike riding and fitting lights to ceilings in my overalls.
If the person I recently proposed to is reading this - the offer still stands, I'd marry you tomorrow (on the beach in Barbados or side by side on motorbikes doing 200mph) if you could promise to stay faithful............. you know who you are. And if he's not reading this but Deano is then can you tell him for me please sugar. Thanks.
xxxx
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