Phew, that was a heavy weekend. Take it you've all read Dave's blog. Bless him! He moaned about doing it but once he started, he couldn't stop! He even came back later on to add more onto it! Sarah, Dave and Dimples have all just left mine. I'll start from the beginning with that one anyway. So, here goes:
As you probably know from Dave, Dimples came over yesterday finally (after telling me he ALWAYS switches his phone off at night so he doesn't get woken up - mmmmn, still not sure if I believe that one; although he is quite anal ie. very very tidy, obsessively clean, does all his own washing and ironing and is NEVER late for work. Ok, not really anal, but new to me as I'm the total opposite). Can't actually believe he still wanted to see me after my insane behaviour Saturday night, but hey, I'm not complaining! Maybe he's "The One"! I did say that when I meet a man who understands my madness, he'll be the one I marry. Ha ha. No, I'm not really getting that carried away. I just like spending time with him. He makes me laugh lots and he's very fit. Everyone needs something joyous to look at! For some, it's a piece of art, for others, it's a special ornament.......... for me it's a fit bloke with the cutest dimples I've ever seen! Anyway, I don't know if he'll turn out to be "Mr Right", he's definitely "Mr Right Now" though and I am taking full advantage of the fact that I didn't scare him off on Saturday (Jordan and Russ have just arrived home after being at the Paul Weller gig in London tonight).
Dimples arrived just after the crew had been down to our local carvery for a sunday roast. Dave was back in the study by the time Dimps got here so we left him there and sat in the lounge for a bit with Mummy Marsh and Jord. After an hour or so, we physically dragged Dave kicking and screaming away from the computer (he'd have been happy staying to write all night as he was fully addicted by then) and made our way to the gig. Everything was great, apart fom some random girl chatting up Nic bongo player (DO NOT step onto our territory girl!) and then practically sitting on my dad's lap (even worse!). The whole crew got wound up and instantly sat bolt upright to give her daggers. I found it all quite amusing; not the fact that the floozy was behaving hideously in front of two of our favourite men, but the way that Lauren, Dave, Tony Trumpet and DJ Mark got so incensed. To be honest, I felt all warm and tingly inside that they were so protective of the group and won't stand for anyone messing. Not that I wanted them to do anything, it's just nice to know that they care so mush (Russ has just made me a cup of tea).
After the gig, we all got kebabs (chips in pitta with burger sauce and cheese for me) and ate them on the beds at Sugar Hut. By then, it was only Sarah, Dave, Steve, me, Jord and Dimples left. Normally we'd sit there for hours chatting but I felt that Sarah and Dave needed some 'quality' time so got Jord to drive me and Dimps home. Steve made a hasty exit to the office, where he stayed til 4am waiting for Sarah and Dave to finish whatever they were doing (snogging passionately I'm told) so that he could help Sarah tidy up. Me and Dimps stayed up all night as well, you know how it is. You get chatting, one thing leads to another and before you know it, it's 4am and the poor bloke's complaining that he's only gonna get 2 hours sleep! I know I'm probably gonna kill him with my insane lack of need for sleep but he's doing alright so far! I'll keep going til he collapses I think. It's always good to set the tone and push the boundaries early on, that way they know what to expect in the future and if they think they can't handle it, they can always jump ship!
Dimples had to be up at 7am and out of the house 20 minutes later. I offered to drive him to the station (that way I knew he had to come back tonight to get his car - clever kidnapping plan on my part, make it look like you're doing them a favour when really you just don't want them going home!). I watched in amazement as he dressed in a suit and put cufflinks on. I've only ever been out with athletes, failed actors and popstars (oh, and the odd builder), so was totally fascinated by the whole suit wearing thing. Plus, you lot know mush I LOVE a man in a suit! Bring it on!!! I couldn't resist saying "have a good day at work, dear" as he got out of the car. Luckily he has the same sense of humour as me, so didn't think I was being too full on after only a week of seeing him. He laughed and I drove back to Marsh Manors to have a cuddle on the sofa with Paddy. Half an hour later Dave called to say that he was on his way over as his boss at the fireman headquarters had forgotten to book him a train ticket for the course he was meant to be away on. He arrived another half an hour later to me laying on the sofa, unable to move my tired limbs (I sympathised with Dimples at this point due to him feeling the same way I was and still having to do a whole day's work). Dave made me a cup of tea to wake me up and we drove into Brentwood to pick up Steve. From there, with 3 of us squashed in my 2-seater TT, we went to Mummy and Daddy Marshs' office to swop cars.
Back to Brentwood for lunch and then all back to the Manor for yet more party planning. Steve is on the case, trying to get an address to send an invite to Valentino Rossi for me. I emailed Dimples a picture of a tiger (he told me that he had an obsession with them when he was little), a compatability rating of our chinese signs (He's a Dragon, I'm a Horse. Apparently we're the best match for each other out of all the signs. Great sex, very passionate and stimulate each other mentally is what it said. It said that although I appear to be very confident, deep down I'm a little bit insecure and that the Dragon will be able to boost my confidence and make me feel good. It also said that I get very bored quickly and easily and that the Dragon is the only sign able to hold my interest. Maybe it will last longer than my usual 2 months!) and a picture I took of myself standing underneath a really crap and dodgy looking photocopying shop (he's a Photocopier salesman, and not just any photocopier salesman - a Senior one!) with the words "our copying shops in Brentwood are the bollocks!". He replied with a picture of one of the photocopiers in his office saying "yeah but I bet you haven't got one like this?". Loving the humourous banter between us!
Earlier in the day (as we were joking about being like a husband and wife), I told him him I'd have dinner ready for 7pm and asked him what he wanted. He replied "Lasagne please darling" and then sent another email which finished with the words "have dinner ready sweetie... papa's comin home!" (me, Sarah and Steve laughed for a full ten minutes at this last comment). When I picked him up from the station, I took him straight to Prezzo's (the restaurant that we go to every day, sometimes twice a day), where the rest of the troops were waiting and we had a lovely feed (I don't think he actually believed I was going to cook for him). After that, Steve went off to Dukes in Chelmsford (a nightclub that does cheap drinks on a Monday) and me, Sarah, Dave and Dimples came back to mine to watch a film snuggled up under a blanket in my flat, which is now known as "the fridge" as my heating still hasn't been fixed.
I'm very mush enjoying Dimples' company. He's a top bloke, from the look of things and best of all, he's not scared by my weirdness. I've even started to enjoy seeing how heavy I can get with him, without him running for the hills. I'm actually turning into the girl off "How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days", so far, it's been a week: I've sent him 500 texts (Sarah has had more words with me about that, I AM trying to cut down), made numerous references to being 'husband and wife' and wanting 'loads of kids', kidnapped him at mine for 2 days (I'll make it 3 next time), asked him to help me move house and pick out furniture (even though I've got 20 other people quite willing to help me) and generally not left him alone. It's stunning though. My behaviour is suffocatingly wrong, yet he's still coming back for more. I like him even more for it!!!! Ha ha. I'm not right in the head..... I know this! He's 29 (a good age for me) but looks about 18 - joy! He has a proper job. He's all man, yet still in touch with his feminine side, due to having 4 sisters. It's such a good start people - and if all else fails, all his mates are fit and so is his dad (apparently) - JOKE!!!!!! Well, not a joke that they're fit, but a joke that I'd make a move on one, unless of course we got together and he cheated on me. Then I'd have an orgy with the lot of them!
Speaking of which, I am thoroughly disgusted (if not a little smug) to see that Fran Cosgrave has cheated on Natasha yet again (Sunday's News of the World). What a twat. She gave him another chance (although her reasons for that are yet to be explained, "revival of a career" you say? Surely not?!) and he has gone and messed it all up again. When will he learn to keep his baggy-foreskinned penis in his skid-marked pants? Never, apparently, is the answer folks. I'm so very glad that he slept with my best mate of ten years. Did me the biggest favour in the world that did. Otherwise I could still be sat on my arse in a three piece suit (all he would allow me to wear), waiting for him to come home pissed from the night club he pretended to own. Filth. For all those that care, a guy called Piers owned Click and paid him £300 a week to work there. Trap, the other one he pretended to own, was raided and closed down for drugs. Shame that - not. It was a hideous green warehouse with a couple of spotlights positioned around the place. I hated it with a passion and looking back, cannot believe I wasted so mush time with him and his stupid pretend clubs. Good riddance I say, onwards and upwards. If Natasha has any sense she'll get rid now too, unless of course, the whole cheating thing is a sick ploy by the pair of them to get publicity. And, no, people, I wouldn't put it past them. It was only 6 months ago I was downing shots in 195 club with Tash and she was telling me how awful Fran was and how mush she hated him (I do have other witnesses to this). Fran had told me a hell of a lot of awful and very private stuff about her, which I gladly told her, to prove her right about how vile he was and we laughed that we were both better off without him and wondered what we had ever seen in him in the first place. Tash - WHY?????!!!!! Insanity or desperation. Anyway, it's neither here nor there anymore. I'm just glad that I'm out of an evil situation and slightly sorry for the fact that Fran is such a desperate, cheating loser with an ugly willy and skid marks in his pants (I've kept a few pairs as DNA evidence, in case he wanted to argue that point in my autobiography! Would have loved to whip those stinkers out in court!).
Speaking of my autobiography, lots of people are writing to me saying that they can't find it in shops and want to buy it. Clearly the shops are being silly to themselves as, if they still had it on shelves, it would be selling; but all you have to do people, is order it. Go into a bookshop and order it (at no extra cost) or even check out the Blake publishing website and order it direct from there. I'm not sure of the exact web address right now but it can't be too hard to find! I'll get on the case about that anyway and let you know exactly how to get a copy. I know the Brentwood Ottakars has about twenty signed copies left (if that's any good to you) cos I was collared the other day while buying books about motorbikes to sign a load more.
Anyway ladies and gents, boys and girls, I'm feeling tired now and grinning like an idiot thinking abut Dimples. He's sends little warm tingles through me when I think of him, which is a very nice way to be. Did I tell you, I sat stroking his dimples throughout the film earlier?! He's lush with a cherry on top. I will keep you all updated with what happens and in the mean time, I'm heading off to dream sweet dreams of him.
Tomorrow I am doing a photoshoot for the front cover of a new magazine and I'm being filmed all day for a documentary style show. Can't wait. It's now 3am though and I have to be up at 8am. Better go get some kip. Rusty is asleep in the haunted room so I'm gonna take Paddy and go slip in beside him. Have a brilliant Tuesday everyone and if you get the time, listen to the song "Wings of Speed" by Paul Weller cos it's beautiful. It makes me cry when I listen to it.
Love and wet dreams and cute men with dimples of the gods.
Jodie "very happy and dreamily smiling" Marsh
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment