4th October 2006 - The one about men who cheat!

First things first. I want to share with you a text I received from my mate Alex today:

I look at my friend's then I look at me.
Without my honey's where would I be?
My friends, my sisters, my shadow, my world
Where would I be without my girls?
Tears, giggles, smiles and laughs
Late night calls and cute photographs
I'll be there til the day of my death
Best girlies forever til my very last breath!
What a lovely text! I forwarded it on to all the girls to make them smile!

Ok - now onto what's been happening in my world. Me and Sarah had our full body massages today. Oh. My. God. It was amazing and exactly what we needed; although I did wonder - is it wrong to get turned on when she moved up my thighs towards that sensitive area?! It's been TOO long now since I've had any male contact! You know you need a man when you have a massage and you get excited at being touched!

Ok - I found the bit in Emily's book that I was going to write about last night before I twatishly deleted it. Here it is:

"When you're single you tend to have a greater need to prove yourself to the world, because there's no partner around to reassure you that you're great. This helps give you extra drive to succeed"

I KNEW it!!! Whenever I've been in a crappy relationship I haven't been half as productive as when I'm single. It's true that with someone around to tell you that you're great; you get lazy and content. Well, that is assuming that your partner does tell you every day how amazing you are (and if they don't then it's time to dump them anyway). I do feel the need to prove myself to the world and if I had a gorgeous man hanging off my arm then I probably wouldn't feel that (I'd be too busy feeling him). There's so mush in my life I want to do still and so many dreams and goals I want to reach. If I was merrily loved up (or not even in love but thought I was) then I would probably lose my drive for a while, concentrating instead on pleasing my man in every possible way! Right now I am bursting with ideas for A. setting up my own business B. making my own TV shows C. making lots of money and D. finding future happiness. I'm feeling very creative right now and rather sitting around doing nothing I am trying every avenue and pressing every button to get something off the ground. Tomorrow I have a meeting with my agent at the office to off-load some of my ideas and to get things rolling.

Even if I settle down any time in the future - I never want to find myself laying on the sofa every night with them contentedly eating and watching TV. That's boring. I want someone who will keep me on my toes, someone who will join with me in trying everything life has to offer and someone with energy and passion for life. I don't mind staying in a couple of nights a week to cuddle and chill out but I do need to keep busy to enjoy myself. I think that's where a lot of my relationships have gone wrong before. I enjoy the first stage of being loved-up and want to spend every minute with them but when it becomes clear that my bloke is happy to stay in every single night then I start to get twitchy and bored. If only I could meet a man who actually wants to do stuff! Life's too short to waste slobbing out on a sofa. It's fine if you're working hard and busy and need to relax but it's not fine (in my eyes) every single night of the week. Anyway, I probably won't meet anyone like that in the near future so I'm wasting my time talking about it. We all know I can't get a bloke for love nor money. Ha ha. I can pull plenty of women though!!!!!! Hooray for lesbians!!!

Last night me, Sarah, Lauren and Carolina watched Take the Lead (the dancing film) and although not anywhere near as good as Dirty Dancing, it was good and we did all find ourselves saying "right - we NEED to all take up dancing lessons!" we are now in the process of trying to find a good street dance class near us cos we want to be able to walk into a club and "have it right off" on the dance floor. Mostly we do that anyway (but we're better at the lap-dancing moves) but we want to be able to do moves that look impossible! Ha ha. It's easy to get a man excited when you're lap-dancing but I want to be able to get him excited when I'm street-dancing; that's the challenge!!!!

We have also booked our VIP seats for this weekend's world break-dancing championships. We cannot wait!!!! A whole concert hall full of the best and fittest male dancers in the world you say?! Bring it right on NOW!!!!!

We have also booked tickets to see Dirty Dancing the musical!! I can't wait!!

The Choreographer's Ball is next week too. Unfortunately its on Thursday night (the night before the Final of the All Star Talent Show). Last year, as I told you, Cris Judd won the main award and I couldn't go with him (even though he really wanted me to) cos I was working. Hang on a minute..... Change subject slightly... this time last year I was pulling Cris Judd (best dancer in the whole world and divorced from fittest woman in the whole world J-Lo) and this year I can't even pull the local bike-boy who shags mingers every night of the week cos he's too drunk to actually see what he's taking home......? WHAT'S going on???????? Sorry; back to what I was talking about: so - I REALLY want to go to the Choreographer's Ball and I've even been asked to present an award. Ashlee Simpson and others are going to be there presenting awards and I would love to be there; I just know that it will end up being a really late night and I have to be at the studio Friday morning at about 8am to spend a whole day rehearsing. God I must be getting old cos I've NEVER been this professional before!! Ha ha. I remember a few years ago when I was the face of Formula 1 and Playstation, I went to the first official photo shoot straight from the nightclub I'd been in the night before. I didn't go to bed, left the club at 6am and was on set facing 25 photographers by 8am!!! Nice one Jode - I did manage to look fresh as a daisy though (with the help of a really good make-up artist) and I behaved totally professionally. I just remember my publicist at the time saying "oh no!" when I walked in stinking of alcohol and wearing a bit of rag that just about passed as an "outfit".

So, I am off to eat a plate of fruit. We have decided to be healthy now. I'm off to enjoy my night with Sarah. We are getting closer to discovering the truth about men (the truth is there aren't any that have brains AND looks). We have analysed every aspect of every relationship we've ever had this week and come to the conclusion that we're just too good for all the men we've been out with and/or know. Sorry if I'm offending anyone but it's true. Men just don't know a good thing when they see it and clearly we are just TOO mush for all the weedy ones we know. If we were alright looking but thick as sh*t or if we were really clever but pig-ugly then we reckon we'd be able to get casual shags every night of the week (or even someone to marry us). Because we are alright looking AND we've got a brain; men are just terrified of us. Well, it's that or it's because we are stalkers and weird and we talk about things like "my dog fancies Sarah's rabbit" and "what would the world be like if animals could talk?" I just don't know! We can't come up with any other reason as to why two lovely girls like ourselves are single. Ha ha. I mean they say that when you meet "The One" he will be your equal in every way but as far as I've seen; men just don't have looks AND brains. It's always one or the other. Added to that is the fact that most men aren't actually nice! Most of the ones I know would happily cheat on their girlfriends or stab their best mate in the back (two things that we would NEVER do). I need a NICE good-looking man with a brain and a sense of humour who will actually be faithful to me. IS IT REALLY TOO MUCH TO ASK????? Apparently yes.

Sorry if any man reading this is good-looking and has a brain (but get in touch if you are) but it just seems to me that I have hunted high and low, I've been to the other side of the world and back and I have seen enough men to last a lifetime. Not one of the b*stards has gotten me fired up and excited (or if they have, they've either already had a bird or have turned out to be a prick; or both). So, on that happy note, I leave you to think about why there are no decent men left (or if there were ever any to start with - apart from my dad).

Stop cheating you idiots!!!!! This isn't directed at anyone in particular - just that recently I have come across more than one man who has made it clear to me that he would cheat (ie. Coming onto me in a club while his bird was in the toilet!). It's just plain wrong. And it's not going to make me want you in the future cos even if I do fancy you now; if we ever got together I would be constantly thinking "is he going to cheat on ME?" I've got a great story about cheating but I'll save it for another time. It also involves my old friend Karma and my favourite saying "what goes around comes around". It's about a woman who tried to give me advice once, me not taking her advice and then her own wrong-doings coming back and biting her on the bum. In brief now (cos now I've started I might as well go on) she told me that I SHOULD go after someone I liked who had a girlfriend. I said I couldn't because I was scared of the karma and also because I'm too nice a person and was worried about hurting someone. In the end I took my own advice and she admitted that she stole her boyfriend off someone else. She tried to reason that she's happy now and that she'd found the love of her life and low and behold the bloke cheated on her with one of her other best mates a short while later!!!!! Scary stuff!!

Anyway I really am going now cos I have got a really fun evening ahead of me. Hope you are all having a nice week and you are actually getting sex (cos I'm not). Have a shag for me!!!!

Loads of love

Jodie

Xxxxx

P.S if anyone does want to get my mate Emily's book I'd Rather be Single than Settle; you can get it from www.fusionpress.co.uk - it's great and a must-have for anyone who is single and/or in a crap, unfulfilling, dodgy or destructive relationship!!