It's 11.30pm on Monday night and I am bored out of my face. I've had an alright weekend but only cos I've been out with some old friends and had a laugh with them. If they hadn't been around I think I would have wanted to kill myself by now!
Saturday night I ended up staying in with Jordan, Tony and Carolina. They brought a take-away over and I cooked myself a quorn curry. We watched that program about David Blaine's latest water stunt and had general chit-chat and I found myself in bed by midnight with a dog either side of me and a Jackie Collins.
Yesterday was fun cos my old friend Adele came over. I've known her since I was 5 years old. We don't see each other that often but we remain very close and always love catching up. We spent the day painting our nails and playing with the dogs after we'd been out for some lunch. My other mate Maxine then came down on the train from London and we glammed ourselves up at mine before going to Jordan's gig at the Horse n' Groom. All of the crew were there: Rusty, Tony, Pants, Carolina, Laura (Laura's mum you HAVE to come to the next gig) Marge and Parge and even Stormin' Norm (Russ's dad). We had a boogie, sang very loudly to "Lazy Sunday Afternoon" and tried to keep my boobs in my top (very small top - habit of falling out!). When the gig finished about 30 of us went to Sugar Hut and got very drunk. So drunk in fact that I was sick 3 times this morning!! I've mentioned that there's a boy in Brentwood that I fancy and he was out last night too. Because we were so drunk, we thought it a good idea to tell him that I fancied him (by "we" I mean me, Tony and my other mate Lisa). Now here's where it gets weird:
Tony went up to him and said "so when are you going to put Jodie out of her misery?" (meaning "when are you going to sort it out and kiss her passionately?") To which Fancy boy replies "I don't want to hurt Russ" (Tony was too drunk by this point to ask what he meant by this).
Lisa then goes up to him and says "Do you like Jodie?"
Fancy boy "Yes"
Lisa "Do her fancy her though?"
Fancy boy "Well yeah"
Lisa "Why don't you come and talk to her then?"
Fancy boy "I always talk to her, I've been talking to her all night"
Lisa "Would you go out with her?"
Fancy boy "No"
Lisa "Why not?"
Fancy boy "Cos she's too powerful for me"
So....... Today we're sitting at home after a huge roast dinner and I say to my brother and Maxine "Shall I just text him and ask him out to the cinema or something?" they both shout "yes!" and so I text simply saying "hi babe, do you fancy going to the cinema one night this week with me?" He replies "I can't babe, I'm really busy all this week" - in other words "F*ck off! I'm not interested!"
Now, there are a few things I don't understand about this. Firstly; I've never been turned down in my life! Secondly, his signals and answers are so mixed that I feel like I'm going mental trying to make sense of it all.
Here's the thing; whenever I'm out, fancy boy can't take his eyes off me. He watches who I talk to, he watches me dance, he checks out what I'm wearing! He's constantly got a beady eye on me! So mush so that the ten times a night I catch him looking at me, he gets embarrassed and smiles and looks away. The other thing is, I've seen the girls he pulls and trust me, they're not all that. Not to be bitchy but he's one of these 25 year old lads that always takes a 17 year old home. I've never seen him with a real woman or anyone remotely stunning. Now, either I'm losing my touch or he has other issues I can't quite grasp right now. I'm hoping to Heaven that I'm not losing my touch - hold on.... What I am saying? Of course I'm not - he must be gay ;)
Seriously though, what's bothering me is that everyone around me has their different theories as to why he's not interested. My mum and brother reckon it's because he doesn't want to end up plastered all over the newspapers (or my next book!). He's made it very clear he has absolutely no interest in being famous or ever appearing in a paper or magazine. That's fine but if he's worried about that then he should be honest and say so! If I were to go out with another celebrity then it would be very more difficult (but not impossible) to keep it a secret but if I go out with somebody who's not known then it's actually very easy to keep the relationship under wraps. Dimples and Lewis the builder, for example, never once appeared in a paper with me! Actually I'm lying, they both did appear once but that was because they WANTED to. That therefore blows that theory out of the water. If it's privacy he wants, he could have it in bundles. I'm very discreet when it's called for. No one knew about my relationship with Max Beasley until I put it in my book (and I only put it in there with his full consent!).
Lisa reckons I'm just too mush for him. She says that since he only goes out with young girls (who are gullible and in awe of him), he wouldn't know what to do with the girl whose nickname is "Human Viagra". She thinks he's scared, hence him saying "she's too powerful".
The comment he made to Tony about Russ is just plain ridiculous. Nothing has ever gone on between me and Russ - he's like a brother to me! We've been friends for ten years or more now. Russ has never really been in love; he pulls more girls than I have hot dinners and doesn't yet have the capacity to say "no" to a girl offering casual sex. Russ wouldn't care one bit if I pulled Fancy boy. I even phoned Russ today to ask him to put a good word in for me (which he promised he would). I haven't got a clue where the Russ comment came from. Maybe Fancy boy just doesn't fancy me but is too polite to say it?! Anyhow, if there was any confusion over Russ, it should have all been sorted when Russ called him earlier on to tell him to take me out!
So, there you have it. I've been turned down for the first time ever; he's given a hundred reasons for not wanting to be near me. He's made it very clear that he's not interested, yet I know that the next time I see him out he won't be able to take his eyes off me! Go figure!
Men are so weird. Me, Maxine and Michelle have spent the whole day trying to work out just what goes on inside their heads. I mean, there is also the small issue of an ex-boyfriend of mine wanting to kill Fancy boy (the ex is now in prison for something very serious) but that shouldn't put him off should it?! Ha ha. I just don't know anymore. Every day I think I get closer to understanding men and then I meet another weirdo. What makes me laugh about the situation is that if I did end up going out with him, we all know I'd be bored after 2 weeks and would dump him after 4 (eg. Shakey, Scott Wright, Dimples, Lewis, Dave), but hey, I like to give these things a go!!
I also thought that if I were ever to be turned down then it would only make me want the guy even more. Not true! It's horrible. I feel rejected and silly and I will NOT be repeating the performance any time soon. In fact, I have now gone right off him - he's gotta be brainless to turn me down in the first place and I don't want another male bimbo ;)
I'm joking, obviously. I don't love myself that mush. It's just not a nice feeling. Plus, come July I will be waiting in the Yamaha hospitality tent to meet Lyla and Paddy's future daddy Mr Valentino Rossi (the true love of my life). That said, I'm still quite disturbed that I've been turned down by a boy who's only ever pulled money-grabbing little girls (he's got a bit of money see, so girls only go for him for that).
Onwards and upwards though. Next week I have a date with one of the footballers I met in Marbella. I'm quite looking forward to it now. I know I've said in the past that I would never date a footballer but he seems really sweet and you don't know what something is like until you try it. So you see, it's Fancy boy's loss and I know that there will come a time when he's kicking himself for turning me down. I plan to make my mark yet and one day it'll be all he's got going for himself, to be able to say "that Jodie Marsh asked me out once" ;)
hope you all had a great Bank Holiday weekend are that you are all refreshed and raring to go. I know I am. Even with the knock back from the boy, I'm smiling. Life is good, I have the cutest dogs in the world, my house is fab, my car is amazing, my friends are the best and my boobs are full and round cos I'm due on (they grow two whole cup sizes!).
Lots of love
Xxxx
P.S we were so bored today sitting in the Slug and Lettuce that me and Maxine went upstairs and did full moonies over the balcony looking down over the whole venue. Michelle took pictures in between screaming laughing. They'll be on the site soon. I then have the cheek to wonder why I can't pull a bloke! Ha ha.
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