Oh yes, last night was good!!! It was Reveal Magazine's 1st Birthday party and they had asked me to turn up in underwear (so, usual Jodie Marsh slag outfit then!) and then when I arrived, I had to go straight in to a room they had put aside full of stylists, a hairdresser and make up artist. The idea was to transform me as quickly as possible and then to throw me back out onto the red carpet looking like a Hollywood A Lister in designer frock and glam hair and make up. In return for this they paid £1000 to one of my charities - I chose Refuge. Since I wear what I lovingly call "slag outfits" through choice anyway but do also enjoy doing "elegant" aswell from time to time, I agreed immediately. Tell me money is going to one of charities and I'll do anything and I mean literally ANYTHING (well, bar illegal stuff and sleeping with someone obviously).
So, in true Jodie Marsh style, I turned up in a sexy little chocolate brown underwear set with fake fur boots and gilet (well, it is getting cold now!) and worked the red carpet as hard as my tanned butt would let me. I took Lewis, Jordan, Sarah and Lauren with me. We all made use of the free bar for a bit until I was whisked away by a really beautiful girl called Ashling who works for Reveal. They took me to an underground room, full of dresses, shoes and make up. I was washed clean and then spent the next 2 and a half hours being transformed. The dress Ashling had chosen for me was a black floor length stunner. Tight, a bit cleavagey, with a massive fish-tail bottom. From the minute I tried it on, I loved it. Lewis loved it too and told me I looked beautiful (what a cutie!). I keep making Lewis wear suits when we go out cos I've always loved a man in a suit but also cos he, in particular, looks amazing in one. He told me outright that if he was to keep wearing suits for my pleasure then I was to wear the dress every time we went out from now on. Ha ha. Obviously I won't, but I did get to keep it so will definitely wear it again when I go to a posh do. It's from Karen Millen and I have to say, I did feel a little bit special in it. It's definitely worth having a look in there girls - Christmas is coming after all and you won't find a more beautiful dress anywhere else on the High Street!
Anyway, I made my second entrance on the red carpet after being led through a series of back passages through the club, out the back door and back up the red carpet. The paps actually all really liked it too. I know most of them by name cos they take my picture so mush, and I heard a few shouts of "you look lovely Jodie" as I was posing like Catherine Zeta Jones in the stunning dress. The make up artist totally changed my make up to look more natural - obviously I was hyperventilating the whole time cos I panic when anybody but Sadie does my make up and also when I don't have enough eyeliner on! It was fine though and I really liked the whole look. I found out later that the whole reason for the stunt was that Reveal readers had voted me the Worst Dressed Person of 2005. Thanks for that people - glad I came top in something! ha ha. Nice to know people out there still dispise the way I look For that, Reveal Mag had decided to show people that I could actually look nice and elegant and also show them that I had a sense of humour! Hey - I don't care. Love me, hate me, whatever. For being voted the Worst Dressed, I just made a thousand pounds for Refuge. Thanks again!
The party itself was really good too. Saw my old mate Omid who's one of the rare nice journalists. He's lovely. I always used to go out and have a drink with him all the time but recently we've both been really busy so haven't seen each other in ages. Think we're gonna go out for dinner soon possibly with some of the other nice writers I met last night. The other usual suspects were there - Ricardo, Kemal, Nadia and Callum. We all got a bit tipsy and didn't get home til about 4am. Great night.
I was telling anyone who would listen that Lewis is my new fella and made all the girls feel his muscles by way of introducing him. It'd be rude not to really. Copping a feel of his pecs put a smile on plenty of faces last night! See, I just wanna make people happy! ha ha. Lewis pretended he was shocked that random girls kept coming over feeling him but I know that secretly he loved it! I'm proud of him - I wanna show him off! As long as it's only his pecs they're feeling anyway!
I got up at the ridiculous hour of 7am this morning and woke Sarah up who was staying in Russ's (brother's best mate who stays here so mush, he's got his own room) room with Lauren. Lauren had been sick from too many Cosmopolitans so I left her to sleep and we drove off to the clinic to get tested. I had the works - even a HIV test! I thought I might as well go for it since I was there. Got a needle phobia though so nearly passed out during the blood test. The receptionist was brilliant and even let us sit in the staff room instead of the waiting room. I think she was concerned that some jerk-off would recognise me and tell the press they'd seen me at a G.U.M. clinic. Lovely lady but little did she know I'd already told the world myself on my website! I don't care what people think, I'm being responsible and I think EVERYONE should do the same. Far too many diseases and slags out there to sleep with people unprotected. It's all about trust too, as I said before. If Lewis and I both get tested and come back negative then we can sleep together unprotected, which, lets face it, is mush nicer (as long as I take my pill every day - not quite ready for sprogs!). So, that done, we shot back down the motorway and even managed to make it to MacDonalds in time for breakfast.
Got home and Lauren had just surfaced. We laid on the sofa for a couple of hours and actually all fell back to sleep, before Dave (Morgan) arrived and we all popped into Brentwood for a spot of lunch. Did a tiny bit of shopping after and Dave bought us all some chocolate puddings and custard for later. We'd seen them advertised on TV, they're from Marks and Sparks and they've got a 'melting middle'. They're the yummiest thing I've ever tasted!
We're back at mine now (Dave, Sarah, Steve and Lauren) and while I've been writing this, Dave and Steve have been changing the tyre on my car. It's been flat for a week so I've been borrowing various different friends' cars. It's not every day you have a celeb change your tyre for you! ha ha. I was tempted to go out there and watch (after making him take his top off of course). I did that one time in London when we got a flat on the Embankment driving my dad's jag. It was me and my fit bloke at the time and my friend Nikki. He got out to change the tyre, in the process of which, getting very dirty. Nikki and I got out to watch him and spent an hour distracting him with shouts of "can you just smear a bit of dirt on your face?" or "can you take your top off?" Nothing like a fit bloke doing real man's dirty work. We were like a couple of pervs drooling over him while he worked. It's the same reason I'm gonna have Lewis do my garden for me when I move house. I don't care if it's winter - he's still gonna do it topless while I dribble from the window.
Oh, while I think of it - remember me having a rant about the bloke that brought another girl on his date with Lauren? Yeah, well, it appears that actually it wasn't his fault at all. Lauren informs me today that the night she met him, she had drunkenly said "every man you meet these days just wants sex - I wish I could just meet a nice man for friendship". See, the poor guy was totally mugged off after trying to flirt with her a bit - no wonder he gave up and brought another girl out! Actually I'm still not agreeing with what he did but it is kind of Lauren's own fault for waffling too mush when drunk. Bird! When you gonna learn?! If you've had a drink - just don't speak. At all. Just sit and smile. People might think you're a bit simple but it's better than scaring people off or giving them a hideously wrong impression. I won't even go into the time she ranted for 2 hours, whilst drunk, at a guy I'd just met, about how she was depressed due to lack of money and I was depressed for being famous! Not a good start to say the least! I might start gagging her when she's had a drink. I don't mind the bush-diving we do when we've had a drink (it involves someone sitting in a shopping trolley and someone else pushing it at full speed towards a bush so that when it hits the bush, the person is catapulted out Jackass stylee) but talking to fit men is not allowed! Sorry Mark old boy. I still don't think you should lead girls on but you have been given full reprieval from all of us for the two girls on a date situation. If Lauren liked you in that way, she should have had a cheeky grope of your balls the night you met and NOT told you she's off men completely. ha ha. Hope you don't hate me like half the female population of this country (for reasons unknown - weirdos!) I'll buy you a drink on Saturday!! I'm big enough to admit when I'm wrong and I was wrong - although all blame lies with Lauren. ha ha. I'd have words with her if I were you
Anyway, I'm off now. Gonna sit and watch a dvd with Dave, Sarah, Lauren, Steve and Lewis. My brother has band camp tonight (rehearsals with the band) and the house is rocking already. Me, Sarah and Lauren might go in and do a bit of backing singing for a laugh. It makes us feel wanted when he lets us join in.
Just wanna say a quick hello to Stefanie Schorah. She's written to me a few times and I've only just received the letters. Thanks babe, glad you're enjoying the blog. I would give you a signed pic but you haven't left an address. Write to SEM with a stamped addressed envelope and I'll personally post you some signed stuff gladly! I've got some wicked new autograph cards on the way anyway so I'll be sending them out to everyone. Thanks again for your support. It means a lot.
It's just been confirmed that my old mate Neil Razor Ruddock is hosting my charity night at Eve club for Beat Bullying with me (see press release and previous blog). He's a top guy and we make a great team. We hosted a charity night in Liverpool and together we went down a storm. He's massive and I'm only five foot two so we look funny together as well. I'm getting really excited anyway. It's gonna be mental. I'm toying with the idea of having either all naked girls and boys walking round showing the auction items OR all celebs (not naked obviously, unless of course, they want to). I'm a perfectionist so every little detail has to be right and I want the night to be as outrageous and entertaining as possible. You can trust me that whatever happens, it'll be the best party London has seen in a while.
Sorry, waffled on a bit there but once I start typing I can't stop! Reminds me of a time when an over-excited paparazzi photographer was taking pictures (along with 20 others) at a netball sevens charity event. My pose or facial expression hadn't changed for a minute at least and yet he kept taking pictures. Lauren was stood behind him and he turned to her excitedly (and out of breath) and gabbled "I just can't stop. I've got the picture but I just can't stop taking pictures of her! What's wrong with me?" Comedy!
Anyway, I really am going now cos everyone is twitching to watch a film and they're all waiting for me.
It was Dave's birthday the other day and tomorrow night he's having a big party so no doubt I'll have tales to tell on Saturday. Keep reading for all the juicy gossip.
bye bye for now beautiful people............
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