Well hello there beautiful people. Life for me is as busy as ever. Where did I leave off? Oh yeah, Trisha - sexpert. Well, got to the Trisha show and had a very generous ten minutes to get ready! Considering I'd had an hour's sleep from the night before and been on radio all morning - I wasn't really looking my best - to say the least. That said, in ten minutes I managed to do a full face of make up and change into a half decent outfit. The make up ladies kept offering help but I don't really trust other people with my make up. I'm sure they are very good at what they do but the way I see it; it's my face and I've lived with it for 26 years. I know what suits me and what doesn't so if my own make up artist Sadie isn't there for whatever reason, I prefer to do it myself. Didn't have time to do anything with my hair so had to go on the show with it looking like it had been back-combed then brushed out. Dread-locked rat tails doesn't even come close! Soddin hair extensions! Don't ever get them!
Also found out that I was actually there to give advice to people who want to be famous. Darren Day and Carrie Grant were also on the panel of celebrity "judges". It was kind of like an X Factor style set up where randoms came on and auditioned for us and we had to tell them whether we thought they had what it took to become famous. Obviously none of them did, otherwise they wouldn't be going on Trisha in the first place. Not exactly the best place to showcase your talents. If Simon Cowell can't even keep Steve Brookstein going for ten minutes then the Trisha show can hardly create A-listers! One of the boys, who had ponced off his grandad for 6 years, had suddenly decided he wanted to be "an actor, or model, or whatever really" and performed a small "acting" piece on stage. To be honest, he only had a few seconds so it's difficult to judge but he didn't stir up any emotion for me whatsoever and actually just spoke in one flat tone throughout. I told him this at the end and said that perhaps he should try modelling as he was very nice looking - to which his mother jumps up (a very scary bleached and short-haired woman with faded drainpipe jeans and slippers on) and starts ranting at me "wot the ell would SHE know - she ain't got a clue - she's a bleeding glamour model..." etc etc. It was either give her a very strong lesson in the Jodie Marsh school of "Don't mess with me - you don't have the brain, I'm right, you're wrong and now I'll prove why" (see Trust Me I'm a Holiday Rep ie. Nadia) and leave her open mouthed and speechless, looking like the hill-billy she was (where DOES Trisha find them?) or just smile sweetly and say nothing - which is what I did. Another "classy" Vicki Pollard lookalike then gets up and says "I daaan't respect glamour mod-dells cos they ain't got no class. I daan't fink no-one respects em". Charming love - and of course, you went to Rodean and have a degree in Anthropology. If there were a school for teaching kids how to speak terribly, wear 25 gold earrings in one ear and position a side pony-tail just enough to the left so that your ear sticks out - she went to it! ha ha. Why can't people keep their stupid comments to themselves? I was paid to be on the show as an expert in the field of fame. I was asked to give my honest opinion (which I did - WITHOUT being horrible) and these vile bints in the audience want a row?! Unbelievable. Oh well - it's all in a day's work. The day I walk around without getting abuse from some mis-fit is the day I'll think something is wrong I suppose. Hey - I might even miss it if people started being nice! That's a joke by the way! Please don't stop the niceness for all those that do have something lovely or intelligent to say!
I moan about it like it's just me but I think we all get it. I was chatting to Robbie Williams the other week at an event and he said to me "Jodie, why are people so horrid?" He said that he'd been getting an awful lot of abuse lately from people on the street. My answer? I honestly don't know. Although I do think it has a lot to do with this country as a whole. It's a very jellus and bitter place to live I think. People build you up to knock you down and boy do they LOVE to see you fall. The only thing I could say to Rob to make him feel better was "just be bloody grateful you're not me - cos the whole country hates me and all I did was wear 2 belts" - it got a laugh at least! I can understand people disliking me to a degree cos if I wasn't me, I'd probably hate me. "Silly cow, who does she think she is in those ridiculous oufits?" I'd probably think, but Robbie Williams? Please people - give the man a break! He's entertained us for fifteen years or something. He's had hit after hit. His videos's are phenomenal AND he's Bloody gorgeous! What more could we ask from Britain's top popstar?! Come to Jodie Rob, I'll give you a little cuddle - and a good seeing to! ha ha.
Just wanna go back to Trisha now and say how lovely Carrie Grant is. She's the woman with the red hair from Fame Academy. She was just the loveliest woman ever! So warm and friendly and chatty. She even stuck up for me when the mother from Hell got up ranting. I almost felt like I'd known her years and had to stop myself from saying "please give me your number - I can't cope without you in my life!" ha ha. Honestly though, a really beautiful, kind, caring, honest lady and those twinkly eyes that suggest she's got a real naughty fun streak to her. Carrie Grant - you're lush!
Back home that night, the builder came over and we popped to my brother's gig at the Hot House in Chelmsford with Sarah. They do these really special shots that they make themselves and as it was Nic the bongo player's birthday, we made him down a garlic shot, a chilli one, a blackjack one and another chilli one in that order. He'd already had about 4 goldschlanger things and when I asked him after the lot (as he was swaying to the side of me looking rather green) if he was drunk, he slurred "not drunk..... just burning". Comedy. I'm gonna use that the next time i'm wasted and someone asks if I'm drunk. "I'm not drunk....... I'm burning!" maybe you had to be there but it's become our new saying and we haven't stopped laughing ever since.
Friday, oh that's yesterday, I was supposed to be doing more radio interviews but I cancelled as I was too tired and it seemed pointless to go all the way to London for 15 mins on the radio when I could have done it over the phone. Some might say Diva - I say clever. Instead I went for lunch with Jord and Peppe (our mate who owns a hotel in Italy and is as obsessed with Rossi as I am).
My brother played the 2nd gig for Ellie May last night. They had an auction and I gave them a signed book to help out. Please do check out the website. I've said it before but the family really need help with buying prosthetic limbs for her. It's http://www.elliemay.info/. There's another auction coming up soon so I'm gonna give my Trust Me I'm a Holiday Rep uniform to whoever offers the most money. It hasn't been washed since I wore it every day on the show - hey I might even throw one of my bra and knicker sets in the package aswell. Alternatively, you can place bids with my agent's office on 02084474250. You can even have the blue scrunchie I detested wearing! ha ha.
Two days ago was Paddy's 2nd birthday so today we had a party for him in Sugar Hut. First off, I took him to the pet shop in Brentwood and he had a bath, blow dry, nails cut, bottom scrubbed (including anal glands) and all his wrinkles on his face cleaned. Then, I let him walk around the shop and pick out toys, bones and treats. Bought him a stack of stuff to take to Sugar hut, whereby Sarah, Steven, Jord, Peppe, me, School Teacher Lauren and Nicole (our French friend who ADORES Paddy) sung him Happy Birthday and generally spoilt him all afternoon. Sarah and Steven bought him a birthday cake which he mashed into the floor. He had a brilliant afternoon though and got even more fuss than normal if that's humanly possible. Nicole then took him for another walk down the high street and bought him yet another bag of toys and treats from the pet shop. Paddy has to be the most loved dog in the world!
Now, I am sitting at my computer with School Teacher Lauren reading old magazines beside me. She's mouthing off at Now mag (again!) for being horrid to me. Twats. The builder is on his way over. At weekends he works as a doorman at a local club. Tonight I'm gonna drive him to work in his car, come home and tart myself up, drive back and pick him up at half eleven and go straight to London for my mate Rick Parfitt's birthday. Rick is the son of the famous Rick Parfitt from Status Quo. I met him a few years ago and we've been very close ever since. Rick is such a lovely guy. He's the sort of person who'll always be there for you, so, mush as I hate London at weekends, I gotta go to the party. At the Grand Prix a couple of years ago, Status Quo were playing to 70,000 people afterwards and Rick Junior told his dad I was there and made the Quo get me up on stage! I was playing air guitar with Francis Rossi in front of 70,000 people! Absolutely hilarious. We've taken old Rick out clubbing a few times. One of those being the night we took him to Wellington (one of my favourite clubs). He got more drunk than any of us and threw himself round the dancefloor all night. Quality. Mind you, he is an old time rock n roller. He should know how to party! There'd be something wrong if he didn't!
Anyway, gotta go cos the builder has just pulled in the driveway. He's in his doorman suit, which strangely I find really really sexy. ha ha. I never lose my cool around men but sometimes I catch myself just staring at him when he's in his black suit. He must think I'm insane. Grinning pervert drooling over him! Don't know why it does it for me - it just does. I've told him to wear it when he comes over in the week to watch films. Nothing wrong with a bit of role play! After he finished work last night, we went out clubbing and he (being a cool bloke) doesn't dance. Me and Lauren wanted to go on the dance floor so him and his brother (who's also sexy and a doorman) came and stood either side of us while we danced. Everyone thought they were our minders cos they still had their suits on and funnily enough, I didn't get HALF the amount of weirdos coming up to me. It was great! He makes me feel safe when I'm out, he's very easy going, he lets me use his car when mine has a flat tyre and he's got a body to die for. What more could a girl want?! ha ha. Lovely.
Have a good weekend people. Talk tomorrow x
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