21st December 2005

The one where I have only just recovered from the party, I've been out with PAUL WELLER again and people are getting worried about me cos I haven't written a blog for three days!

Blimey..... What a mental few days! God, let me start by apologising for not having written sooner. Things have been off the scale here for rushing around, trying to do Christmas shopping, trying to organise Christmas, Boxing Day Ice Skating, New Years Eve, spending time with my friend Giuseppe (more about him later), shagging Dimples, spending the night with PAUL WELLER again and generally recovering.

First off, the party was fantastic!!!! I won't go on anymore about how beautiful the venue was or how many amazing things we had to entertain people cos I think you've all had enough waffling from me about all of that. I will tell you though that I was and still am, totally gob smacked at the effort people made with their costumes. Every single person dressed up, and not just half-heartedly, we're talking full-on mad outfits of life! Obviously, you know that Scholl Teach came as a banana, Jonny came as Ali G and I went as a vampire, complete with blood dripping from my mouth. My brother went as a clown (and had full clown make up done by Sadie, my make-up artist), my mum and dad went as hippies, Dimples and his two mates went as roman gladiators, Kyle went as Prince Charming, Kenzie went as Batman, Dave went as a topgun pilot, Sarah went as Lara Croft, Steve went as Willy Wonka, Chris Parker went as a lifeguard, Dave Courtney the gangster came as Zorro, my mate Michelle went as me, with a big fake set of boobs and two diamond belts. Other amazing outfits were two huge inflatable sumo wrestler suits, an adult baby, the three musketeers, Bill and Ben the flower pot men, the list goes on and on and on. Won't keep going cos in the next few days the pics will be up so you can see for yourselves just how amazing all the outfits were.

Everyone had the most amazing time. All of my closest friends were there and we danced our heels off. My feet were actually bleeding by the end of the night!!! Cos I was the hostess, I spent the whole night going round catching up with all my mates and didn't even realise how drunk I was til the end of the night when I was dancing on the stage with no shoes on. As a present to me, Sarah, Steve and Gary had a giant poster made of me. Everyone that walked in the door had to sign it, which was the nicest thing ever and gave us all lots of laughs when we got home and read what everyone had written.

Some of the highlights of the night for me were Jordan and Lauren swopping costumes so that he became a scary killer banana (as he still had his clown make up on) and she looked like a dwarf clown, Jonny and Jo doing a tribute speech to me on the microphone (although I have no idea what I said when they forced me to make a speech, I was too merry by then to speak coherently), Dave Courtney giving Dimples a knuckle-duster as way of initiation into the group, my mum and dad staying til 2am even though they had to be up at 6am (the parental units couldn't get enough of the party), Kenzie dancing like Eminem in a Batman suit on his own in the middle of the dance floor at the end of the night, "Town Called Malice" being played no less than 9 times in a row (it lasted 45 minutes) and just generally seeing all the people I love most in the world, absolutely having it all together on the dance floor to Queen "Don't Stop Me Now (I'm having a good time)". I can safely say it was the best night EVER!

I thought it couldn't get any better than what it already was, step up Jordan Marsh. About an hour into the night, he handed me a pair of glasses and said "Go and find the owner of these". I was confused and wandered off glasses in hand. He then came over again and said "Actually, sod it, just go and find the gorilla". I had clocked a gorilla running around but didn't have a clue who was in the suit. When I found him, he ran away from me so Jordan shouted "Chase him!". The next ten minutes were spent with me chasing the gorilla round the club and twenty people chasing me. IT was like a Benny Hill film. Eventually when I caught him, I spun him round and he whipped his head off. It was my mate Giuseppe from Italy. Jordan had flown him over from Italy to be there for the night. I promptly burst into tears and cried for the best part of two hours. Every time I tried to explain to someone else what Jordan had done for me, I cried again. Basically, Giuseppe is someone I met when he was on holiday over here. He doesn't speak a word of English and I don't speak a word of Italian but we somehow clicked, became dancing partners and fell in love with each other's personalities. I spent all of last Christmas and New Year's Eve with him and have been in touch all year on text (we get various mates to translate for us). I was saying a few weeks ago how sad I felt that he wouldn't be here for the party and that I miss having him as my dancing partner. Now, you can understand why it was so special for me. Jordan had secretly paid for him to get here, picked him up from the airport, hired the gorilla suit and gotten him to the party. You'll see him in all the pictures, he's the one I've talked about before that had a horrific car crash and got hideously burnt. He's the best dancer in the world and has the nicest and happiest outlook on life. Every time I look at him, I feel happy. He makes me realise that no matter what life throws at you, you can always make the most of it and live life to the full. He doesn't feel sorry for himself and he doesn't want any sympathy or special treatment. He just loves life. He's constantly smiling and even though we don't speak each other's languages, we can just give each other a look and we know what each other is thinking. Last year, we went clubbing every night that he was here and rocked every single dance floor. He's an inspiration and joy to know. It was truly one of the most amazing presents EVER!!!

By the end of the night, I was sitting on the floor with Steve surveying the carnage of the club. Various people were passed out and lots of people were not in the costume they came in. Sadie, Nick, Jonny, Dimples, Sam, Darius, Kyle, Karleigh and Kaine all came back with me and stayed at my mum and dads' house. I remember everyone being there and eating pink shrimp sweets, then I woke up on Dimples lap at 7am. Sam and Darius were tucked up in their inflatable bed (which I had slept through the inflating of) on the floor. I dragged Dimples over to my house and we were up again at 9am. I had a doctor's appointment. Pretty f*cking stupid day to arrange that considering I knew I was going to have the hangover from hell. The doctor could smell the alcohol on me and shook his head as if he didn't believe me when I said I didn't really drink that mush.

We had a big fat fry-up in Brentwood with Jonny, Dave, Max, Jordan, Karleigh and Kaine and then me and Dimps went home to get ready. That night, I had arranged for us to go to an Ocean Colour Scene gig. I've been wanting to go for ages anyway and Dimps is their biggest fan ever. Jordan was desperate to go as well and Giuseppe was flying back at 6am the following morning so I wanted to see him. Steve Craddock's beautiful wife Sally sorted it all out for the four of us. We had the same treatment as we had had a few weeks ago at Paul Weller. Got there, were met at the door by Sally, taken straight in to the dressing room and got pictures of all of us with the band. Dimps had taken all his Ocean Colour Scene cd's to get signed, which he did get signed by all the band, and we had a few cheeky vodkas with them all. When the gig started, we watched it from the VIP seats and I purposely sat Dimps next to Sally cos I knew he'd love telling people he watched the concert sitting next to Steve Craddock's wife. The gig was amazing. Nobody stayed in their seats, in fact we were dancing on our seats. Me and Giuseppe were having it to the old classics like the Riverboat song. Even though he didn't know the band, he knew that they were really famous in this country and was really chuffed to meet them and get pictures with them. After the concert, we had more drinks with the band and Steve and Sally invited me and Dimps to have dinner at theirs one night. Did you hear that people?! Steve Craddock, the coolest man in England (along with Paul Weller) has invited me to his house for dinner!! He said he'd cook us a curry! I love Steve and Sally. They are top people and so lovely and warm. Sally nearly cried when I told her the story of Jordan flying Giuseppe over from Italy!

We left there to go and get something to eat and ended up in an Indian restaurant on the King's Road in Chelsea. Just as we were finishing our food, we get a call from our mate Angie, who asks where we are and if we want to join her and PAUL WELLER in a club in the West End. Do we?! We paid the bill and were out of there in 30 seconds flat. It took me 5 and a half minutes to get to the club. We walked in and Paul was on the phone. His first words were "oh, Jod's here now, hang on..." and he passed his phone to me saying "hello gorgeous, here, take this, it's Steve on the phone". I totally freaked Steve out as we had practically only just left him! Had a quick chat and then hung up to sit and drink with Weller for 2 and half hours. Well, Dimples had already said that meeting Ocean Colour Scene had been the best night of his life. He couldn't stop grinning and looking at the pictures on his camera. When he shook Weller's hand, I though he was going to come in his pants, pass out or scream. He actually just said "very nice to meet you mate" and turned to me smiling the biggest smile in the world, which made his dimples look even bigger than they are normally. I think he couldn't really take it all in (being as big a fan of Weller as I am, and you all remember my first reaction to meeting Weller!). It wasn't just the best night of his life, it was everything he had ever dreamed of, all on the same night. Funnily enough, he had even said in the car on the way to the restaurant "the only thing that could top this, is if I met Weller". Comedy. I promised him a few weeks ago that I would get him to meet Weller at some point and I don't think he believed me. Now, however, he is forever in my debt. By that, I mean he has to be nice to me. No more rudeness or weirdness or lack of communication! He summed it up though yesterday when I was telling him that I would be a brilliant girlfriend to him if we lasted. I said "I mean, what other girlfriend could introduce you to Paul Weller?" and he replied "I've never even had a previous girlfriend who liked Paul Weller!". That says it all in my eyes. If you like Paul Weller, it's like being part of a club or cult. We all feel so passionately about him and it's more than nice to meet someone you like and fancy and want to be with, who appreciates him as mush as you do. When we finally left at 3am, we were exhausted but on top of the world. I'll put all the pics up when I've got time. If you like Paul Weller and Ocean Colour Scene, you have GOT to see these. I've even got a shot of Weller giving me a big sloppy kiss!! We are officially now mates (as opposed to before, when I was just a groupie fan). Weller thanked me for the mention in my book and told me he has a lot of time for me. He said it was a shame that nobody knows the real me and that I get a hard time from the press. He couldn't understand it, as he knows I'm a nice girl and actually nothing like what the trashy papers and mags make me out to be. Me, Dimps and Jordan chatted to Paul the whole time we were there and Angie, who speaks fluent Italian, chatted to Giuseppe the whole time, which was lovely. I won't bore you with our whole conversation but rest assured, Weller is a converted Jodie Marsh fan (from what I can gather) and I will be seeing lots more of him. Happy doesn't even come close!!

Right now, it's 2am. Lauren is just leaving mine, having watched me type for an hour. I have spent the last two days Christmas shopping with Sarah and Dave and Dimps. Yesterday we went to Harrods and Selfridges and today we have done the whole of Bluewater 3 times. We have eaten in Harrods, Planet Hollywood and Ed's Diner. We have bought some (but not all) of our Christmas presents and Sarah and I have spent about 6 hours in total at different make-up counters trying stuff out while the boys sat on the floor. We have decided we might have a joint wedding as we all got together at the same time and are the best of friends. If my party is anything to go by, the wedding will be off the scale! Dimps is taking me somewhere tomorrow, although he won't tell me where. It's my birthday on Friday. I don't want to get any older, although it's only 3 days til Christmas and I am very very excited.

I still can't get over how amazing the last few days have been. I have had the best party in the world ever know to man and I have met Ocean Colour Scene and spent another night in the company of Paul Weller. For my birthday, I asked everyone that would have normally bought me a present to put money in a card that I could give to charity instead. From the party alone, I made £300 for Beat Bullying. Janet, the fortune-teller also donated all her tips to Beat Bullying (and gave me and Dimps a very scary reading - more about that next time). The goody bags went down a storm! Everybody loved them!

The only down side to my week has been seeing that Sneak magazine are slagging me off again. Either the people that write this shit are very ugly (on the inside, as well as out) or they are twelve years old (as, after all, the mag is aimed at 12 year olds - perhaps it's also written by them). It doesn't take any brain to slag me off. It's a cheap shot and they will get their come-uppance. Anyway, I'll go into more detail about the twats next time cos Dimples is sitting waiting for me to take him to bed.

You now have to register to read my blog or look at pics (which, if you are reading this, you already know). It's free, it just means that as the website becomes one of the fastest-growing in England, we can build a data-base of people to send information to. One of those things being about a very exciting new project I have coming up in the next couple of months. I'm about to do something that no other celeb has ever done. You will love it and be as excited as I am, no doubt, when I tell you (in the very near future) what it is. I like to set standards and trends, not follow them so this is going to be whopper of a project! Anyway, hope you're all having as mush fun as I am right now (and as mush good sex - we even had a cheeky bit of oral in a shop changing-room today - quality!). Sorry again for not having written sooner but it's been manic in Jodie's world the last few days.

Lots of love, keep watching this space cos pics will be up soon and when I've got the time, I need to have a rant about pig-ugly, brainless journalists and also go into more detail about some of the things that have happened over the last few days (including having a row in Selfridges cos Dimples wouldn't take a ring off that his ex-girlfriend bought him, being papped in London with Dave and Sarah and getting my boobs out in the car park in Bluewater). So mush to tell... so little time!

Sweet dreams and happy last-minute shopping

xxxxx

P.S I had 5 people call me today and ask if I'm ok as I hadn't written a blog for thre days. Hilarious!