It's Sunday afternoon. I have over-dosed on Sugar Hut, having been there Friday and Saturday night. Me and School Teach are sitting in the study, having slept in the haunted room with all the dogs. We stayed up til 5am chatting about the world. Two lovely surprises last night, first Chris Parker (Spencer from Eastenders) called me and asked if he could come out with us and second, when we arrived at the Hut, Razor Ruddock was lurking around outside the door. I took him in and we all had a catch up in the VIP room. Lovely to see both of them. The whole girl gang was out last night (Alex, my best mate and hairdresser, Michelle, who's fault it is that I'm famous as she made me do Essex Wives, Selina, who we have nicknamed 'Bean' as she looks and acts like a chihuahua, Becky, who I've been mates with for about 6 years and School Teach, who I'm joined at the hip to). Dave Morgan was out as well, sneaking off every two seconds to have tongue games with Sarah. None of us were really in the mood to get drunk, so by the end of the night, we were still sober, but laughing and chatting about men. ALex used to be in Chris Parker's class at Junior school (we all went to the same school but I am a few years older) so they had a lovely catch up and talked about the time Chris showed Alex his willy when they were 8. Comedy.
I love it when all the girls are out together. We're such a nice bunch (even if I do say so myself) and we're all attractive (even if I do say so myself). We are fun-loving, hyper and a little bit mad, but we're all polite and respectful and know how to have a wild time without offending anyone. They truly are the nicest bunch of girls. I've known all of them years and I feel proud that they are my mates. We've all got a brain but we know how to party. Girl power.......
Friday night, Dimples and his mate Sam came to Sugar Hut. I wore my new thigh-high denim boots (that Steven chose for me). They got a good reaction from the men. I felt a bit like a hooker in them (or at least like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman), but they went down a treat. Will be wearing them again soon! Kenz was out with us Friday too. He was extremely drunk and had wannabe girls draped all over him. I swiftly moved them on (by putting my arms round his neck and giving them daggers until they felt so uncomfortable they had to walk away). Sorry, but I'm not gonna stand by and let some hideous fame-seeker get her claws into the nicest man in England. Kenz isn't stupid anyway and knows a wrong-un when he sees one but when he's pissed, he's somtimes too weak to be anything but nice, even when a girl is blatantly getting her mate to take pictures on her camera phone while she hangs off his arm. Girls be warned, Kenz is my little man and if anyone messes with him, they'll have me to answer to.
Yesterday, me and Dimples got up and went to meet Sarah, Dave, Steve and Russ in Prezzo's. We had a big lunch (although I didn't eat mine as I found meat on my Pizza and sat gagging at the table until I had put everyone else off their food). After that, me and Dimples left to go furniture shopping for my new house with my mum and dad. We walked round DFS for 2 hours trying out all the sofas and getting the sales men to move them around so I could see what they would look like if they were in my new lounge. I couldn't keep my hands off Dimples and every time we were alone for 2 seconds, gave him a little squeeze. He walked round with a big smile on his face and a folder covering his bits.......
We left there to go to my new house and lay bits of paper all over the lounge floor to show where the sofas would go. I'm not jumping up and down at the ones we looked at so not sure if I'm going to buy one. I feel like when I see the perfect sofa, I'll know and be totally sure (kind of like when you meet "the one" I suppose). It'll just hit me like a smack in the face. Saying that, DFS have a half price sale on that ends at 5pm today so unless I go back there in a bit, I might miss out on a lovely half price sofa and still never find "the one". Oh God, decisions, decisions.
Today there is a story in the News of The World about me going out with Antony Costa. The picture is an old one and it doesn't even look like me. It's nice though. The stuff in the story is pretty mush what I said in my book, which half of England has read anyway.
My outfit for my party still hasn't arrived from America. Am getting slightly worried now. I ordered a vampire dress and a circus ringmaster costume so I could wear one or the other or both. It's only 6 days to go and although I'm creaming my knickers with excitement, I'm also growing more concerned by the second that I'll have to go as some stupid Madonna or Ali G (or whatever the fancy dress shops have left by the end of this week, if the outfits still haven't turned up). When I ordered the costumes, a good few weeks ago now, I sent them an email explaining that I was quite well known in this country, I was having a party that was also going to be attended by other British celebs and lots of the press and that my outfit was very important. I even offered to pay extra shipping costs to get it here quicker. The email was quite long (we all know how mush I can waffle) and extremely polite. The response I got (6 days later) was "shipping on the 12th". Nothing more. No "hello Jodie" or "thank you for your order" or nothing. Filth. The absolute rudeness! Steve was with me when I got the reply and fell on the floor laughing when he saw my face of utter disgust at the rude reply. All I can do now is wait and pray. I have invited a few journalists. One from Star mag, one from Closer mag and one from Reveal mag. 'OK' can shove it, after offering "exclusive" pictures at my book launch to go in the mag (ie. no other photographers were allowed in except their one) and then not even running the pictures or story. F*cking wank-stains. I will never work for OK again, unless they pay me £1million or more. They don't deserve the joy that is me and it's their loss at the end of the day. They'll come crawling back when I'm in a Hollywood blockbuster and I'll shun them and start up my own magazine called "Not OK". It'll be full of amazing people and amazing pictures. It won't just be a tribute every week to Jordan, Michelle Heaton, Jade Goody and Kerry Katona (which is all Ok mag is and very very boring - who cares anymore?!). I was gonna invite someone from Sneak but they seem to have turned on me (after I stated they are the nicest mag ever - typical!) and Now mag won't get a look in either. They are still being vile to me on a weekly basis. These people are no better than my bullies at school. I won't let them drag me down though. In fact, their nasty comments only spur me on to do even better and show them that they won't break me or bring me down.
I've also got the No 1 David Beckham lookalike and Justin Timberlake lookalike coming to the party. If all else fails, the girls can have cheeky snogs with them in a corner and pretend they are the real thing. See, aren't I nice to my mates?! ha ha. I know them both though and they look the nuts. It'll be good to see people doing double-takes as they pass them in their drunken states.
Dimples has just called. He went out last night and everyone was yelling "Dimples" at him. Obviously they are reading the blog, which is very nice. Although I'm slightly perturbed that it's now 3pm and he's only just got up. I asked if he had a bird in his bed last night and he said no. My persistance is getting quite boring now but I won't ever let it rest, until I'm sure he's trustworthy. I've had some nasty old experiences with men and don't trust any of them, as far as I can throw them, for a long time after meeting them. I was the same with Kenzie, he used to sing that Mario song at me "you should let me love you" cos I was so adament about not letting myself fall for him until I was sure I could trust him. I do really like Dimples but I also need to remain in control of my emotions and feelings. For all I know, he's got 25 other birds on the go, has 3 kids by different women and a bride he bought on the internet a few years ago that he is paying an upkeep fee to. Until I know that he cares about me and me alone, doens't have any interest in other women, really wants to spend time with me and is not gonna switch his phone off on a night out and keep it off for most of the next day (Of course he's with a bird, you stupid girl - my head is saying), then I won't let myself fall or care too mush. I know he probably didn't get up to anything last night, but my brain is saying he must have had women all over him, he at the very least snogged someone or touched a girl a little too imtimately when getting her a drink at the bar and didn't think of me once. The reality is that he got pissed with his mates and fended off a few wannabes who now know he's going out with me and have suddenly taken an interest in him, and went home alone to crash out and get some mush needed sleep. Er, no. This is a bloke we're talking about. A fit, funny, nice bloke. Which has gotta beg the question "why has he been single for two years?" as he tells me. See.... if he expects me to believe that then he must think I was born yesterday. He's probably shagged a hundred women in that time and I'm just another name on that ever-growing list. Oh well, whatever..... it's a bloody good list to be on (he knows what he's doing in that department) and I'm having fun and that, folks, is all that matters.
I'm off now to have a shower and get ready for the arrival of King Dimples. We are going to the carvery to get as mush as we can eat for £7 a head (or in my case, as many roast potatoes as I can eat for £7). Lauren and I have exhausted the question "what makes you have really good sexual chemistry with a particular man but not any with another, who is just as good-looking?" - I'll tell you what we came up with next time. Have a super Sunday and be excited cos it's exactly two weeks to Christmas!!! Yipeeeee!
Speak soon everyone, love and jingle bells and fit men at office parties
Jodie Marsh
P.S I totally forgot to tell you a few weeks ago that my test results came through and I am clear from everything, including HIV. Result! Don't know how I managed that one though after some of the rotters I've been out with?! Very very pleased anyway and will definitely be more careful in the future. It's so nice not to have to wake up to a text saying "You have Chlamydia" - as a friend of mine did after she went to the clinic. Can you believe they TEXT you your results now! Comedy. We have wound her up ever since saying "Congratulations, you are the proud owner of a sexually transmitted disease", as if that's what the text said - hey, it might as well have done. Who wants to wake up to a text like that?! Hideous. Anyway, Jodie Marsh is disease free and very happy about that. I've purposely come off the pill to make me be more strict about using condoms as well. The last thing I want right now is a sexually transmitted disease, let alone, sprog.......
Baaaaaaaaaaaaa
Tuesday, 21 October 2008
11th December 2005 - Giving someone an erection in DFS furniture shop
Labels:
2005,
birthday party,
Dave Morgan,
Dimples,
jade,
Jordan TVO,
Kenzie,
Michelle Heaton/Scott-Lee,
Not OK Magazine,
OK Magazine,
rant,
Sarah,
ST Lauren,
Stevie
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