9th March 2006 - Jodie Marsh meets her match!!!!

Well, I've just had the two best cleaners in the whole world come and blitz my house. They've been here two hours and have attacked every single nook and cranny of the house. They even washed up and changed my bed sheets! I now have a sparkling house, washing in the machine and clothes in the tumble drier (along with a Bounce sheet, which I have discovered makes clothes smell the absolute nuts!). I am a fully qualified adult!

Last night, I took my mum, dad and Lauren for dinner at Prezzos. We had a very nice meal and sat on the big comfy sofas afterwards drinking coffee. Dave came to meet me at mine when we finished and Lauren went home to get an early night. Dave and I were going to watch a film but we ended up laying in bed talking. We had a proper giggle and also quite a deep chat. He admitted to being worried that he might get bored of me. OH. My. GOD. What does he mean he might get bored of me?! The very words didn't even register for a while, it was like a foreign language to my ears! Bearing in mind that I've never been dumped and that I am the queen of "getting bored" of people; in fact, I invented getting bored of people! As you know, I never seem to make it past the two month mark in relationships and even that is considered a long time for me! Mostly I sack them off after a month for something like calling me selfish or not liking dogs. For the first time in my life, I think I have well and truly met my match! Dave admitted to getting bored of previous girlfriends quite quickly and also to finding ways to end it with them. This is exactly what I do! In fact, I never did tell you the full Dimples story so here goes:

Remember when it was all going tits up with him and he was messing me around?! Well, I quickly realised he wasn't "the one" and decided I needed to be on my own. Only problem was that by the time I decided this, he was being the perfect boyfriend, having realised what a twat he'd been. So, getting my nails done on New Year's Eve and chatting to my nail girl Kayleigh, we discovered that her best mate was going to the same place as Dimples on New Year's Eve. I then made Kayleigh ring her and I offered her £100 if she tracked Dimples down at the party and snogged him. That way, I reasoned, I could dump him on the grounds that "he'd been seen snogging another girl". Kayleigh's mate knew what he looked like as she'd seen him at my fancy dress party. She agreed to take on the challenge and we spent the night texting backwards and forwards trying to find out if the mission was complete. Unfortunately, she couldn't find Dimples at the party cos it was so busy, but I used the fact that he didn't call me on New Year's Eve to dump him anyway. Job done.

My point is that, it's ME who gets bored. It's ME that finds any excuse to end it. It's ME that can't be with someone longer than 2 months and it's ME that worries about hurting yet another bloke. Now, all of a sudden, I meet someone I think could actually be the love of my life and for the first time ever, I see it being a real long lasting thing and he tells me that he's worried that he might get bored of me!!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

On a serious note, I don't think he will. Even when he said it, I was thinking "don't be silly!" and laughing to myself. I told Rusty this morning and even he laughed out loud. He was laughing because No1. he knows I've never been dumped and knows that normally it's me who gets bored and therefore the thought of someone getting bored of me is absurd (not to be too big-headed, but it's true! Ha ha) and No2. because he knows it actually might happen and would therefore be a first in my life and that's funny. Russ asked me what I said when Dave said it and before I had a chance to reply, Russ made up the answer himself and said it aloud as if it were me replying "ha ha, that's funny! Good one! Now, what were we talking about?" Oh, we've had a laugh. Although I think it's funny that a bloke has actually said that to me, I'm also slightly worried that I may well have TRULY met my match. I don't know of any men who feel the same way I do about relationships and it seems, Dave does. If it's not perfect from the outset, move on. Also he's of the same mind as me that you should move things on as quickly as possible ie. Move in together after a week. Everyone around me always tells me to take it slower with men, but the way I see it, if I take it really slow, then I will still find out after 6 months or a year that he's a twat, but I'll have wasted all that time with him. If I move him in after a week then I know almost instantly that he's a twat and I haven't wasted a good part of my life with him. What's the point in dragging something out, only to find out the same thing at the end of it? I want to know within 2 weeks if I can live with him or not and if not, it's goodbye. I'm looking for a husband and father to my children in the long run, I'm not wasting time with wet lettuce boys or messing men. Shockingly, Dave feels the same and is quite happy to see me every single day. I'm loving it!!!! Normally I have to kidnap blokes to get them to spend every day with me, or else they give up their jobs/friends/lives/hobbies for me (NOT at my request) and I get bored of their annoying behaviour. Dave, however is just happily wanting to see me as mush as I want to see him. It couldn't be more right. I did finish the conversation with "maybe I should change the colour of my hair every month" though, as I began to think of ways to keep him interested. On a serious note, this is me we're talking about. If anyone knows how to keep a bloke interested, it's me. That's what the room full of sexy underwear, toys and dress-up outfits are for. If I want to blow a man's mind, then trust me I will. I'm not entirely sure Dave knows what lies in store for him, but boy will we have fun. Now that I know he might want to do a runner (Jodie Marsh style), I'll start using all the little tricks I have up my sleeve. And I'm not talking mind games either......

Rusty was here this morning cos I paid him to come round and clean my dressing room for me. It was the only room in the house that was still a mess. About 50 outfits were strewn across the floor and shoes and boots and underwear laid tangled in them. Within an hour, we had it looking like a brand new shop. The cleaners even said they could open it up to the public and start selling stuff off. It does look like a shop in there. I've even got proper shop rails all over the walls (remember on previous blog, the guy I bought them from tried to rip me off). Rusty left to go and pick my brother up from the station. He has just got back from Wales. He came straight here and we have been catching up ever since. Russ is coming back here in half an hour to help me hang up the two giant laundry baskets full of clean clothes that have come out of the tumble drier in the last two days. Then, Dave is meeting him here and they are going off to band camp. Jord also has band camp at Marsh Manors tonight. Tony trumpet is coming here straight from work as he "needs a chat" and I will be alone when everybody has left for rehearsals. After that, I plan to cook some nice dinner; I might attempt an Indian tonight, and then either go clubbing with my mate Alex (who called last night saying she needs a night out) or stay in and wait for the love of my life to come home from band practice. Right now, I'm going to go and have a shower. Since the whole house is now sparkling and shiny, I feel a bit dirty sitting here in my pink pyjama bottoms, legwarmers and faded baggy vest.

Paddy is asleep on my bed with the grumps. We had an argument this morning and he's refused to talk to me ever since. I found that he'd been chewing my cushions on my bed and when I confronted him with one and asked sternly why he'd done it, he growled back at me. I shouted at him not to answer me back and he ran off with the sulks! He's given the cleaners and Russ love today but totally ignored me. I'll go and give him a cuddle now and he'll be alright. I hate it when he's not talking to me, but he was a naughty boy for chewing the cushions!

Hope you're all having a good day and not working too hard.

Lots of love Jodie Marsh adult

xxxx

I am now out of the shower. It's like a human conveyor belt in my house. I got out of the shower and dripping wet, went to answer the door to Russ, who was shouting from outside. He came in and after I'd got dressed, help me hang up the last of my clothes. Ten minutes later Dave arrived and we all sat in the kitchen drinking coffee and ribena and talking about the state of our various friends' love lives. Ten minutes after that Tony arrived and five minutes after that Russ and Dave left for band camp. Now Lauren has just arrived and Jordan (who is back at home cooking sinner for marge and parge) has texted Tony asking if he wants to go out for a drink tonight after his own rehearsal. Tony has been told outright that he's not allowed to go. We're still on our healthy living buzz (that means no alcohol mid-week) and tonight is still considered mid-week. It used to be passed off as "the weekend" but we're being sensible now. No doubt, Tony will find a way to slip out later and meet my brother anyway. I'm going to attempt to cook an Indian in a bit for myself and Lauren and then Dave and Russ will be back around half ten. Russ is working with me again tomorrow if I can persuade him that moving odds and ends from flat to new house is fun. I'm still missing bits and pieces that haven't yet been moved over, most noticeably, my tutus. I've got a large collection of them to wear for parties and premieres and they are all still at my mum's house. Also still at my mum's are all my winter coats. That's very annoying. I've spent the last week wearing three jumpers at a time to keep warm when I go out. I suppose I could just drive to my mums and get them but I always seem to be in a rush! Anyway, I'm in love with my house for the 50th time this week; it's looking more beautiful than ever. My mate Ricardo (not the trannie one - a different one) is coming over in a bit to sort my broadband out so I don't have to type my blog on this sodding laptop any more and my dad is coming over in a bit to finish the last few bits that need doing (mirror up on fireplace, towel rail up in big bathroom, plug socket in porch cupboard etc).

Paddy has had his dinner, everything is in it's place. I feel very content. Paddy has even started poo-ing in the garden! Yipee! I'm off to relax with Lauren and Tony and Homer Simpson on the TV........

xxxxx