So, as you've probably all seen on T.V and read on the website, Jodie is now in the Big Brother house and all of her mates are looking after the blog, whilst we anxiously watch what is going on in the house. Where do I start? It appears to have been a roller coaster already, and it's only the second night. It's friday evening and for the first time in about a million years I'm at home watching T.V. It's weird.
Yesterday was a really tense and stressful day, I know how sick and nervous I felt just thinking about Jode going into the house, I can't even begin to imagine how she felt. Her day started really early as she was being collected from home at 6 a.m. Jodie being Jodie, had not taken the easy option of planning everything she needed to do well in advance, had left it until the last day, resulting in a final mad dash high stress military operation to get everything ready. I went to her house on Wednesday after school, but left in early evening to go and finish my school work and get an early night ready to teach the next day. I left Jodie in the capable hands of Sarah, secretly I knew I would not cope with the stress of watching Jodie trying to pack, so I got out whilst I could! Wishing her Mum "good luck" on the way out! Sorry Jode, but I think I would have just helped to drive you even more mad!
So, finally thursday arrived, even though I was at school, fortunately I had a fair amount of free time, and spoke to Jodie a couple of times throughout the day, before she had to give her phone over! I convinced myself and others that asked of her that she sounded fine, but I'm not sure now if I just convinced myself of that for my own sanity! Jodie has a strong habit of keeping her fears and worries to herself, and then revealing them all at once when it's right at the last moment and you're not sure you can do anything to help! An example here is this mornings blog; although I knew Jodie was scared and feeling vulnerable at the moment, I wasn't clear as to the full extent of how she was feeling, then I read the blog Jordan put on the website this morning. I wished I could have given her a massive hug and told her that it was all going to be ok. See, regardless of what other poeple think, i.e. Pete Burns (is that his name?) I believe we should be able to offer comfort and support to those people who show genuine fear and insecurity. Why people don't have the compassion to reach out to those people who just need some reassurance and kind words is beyond me? So maybe you do think Jodie is going on about being bullied, or showing contradictions in what she says and how she feels? So what? What is clear surely is that here is a person who is feeling vulnerable and in need of reassurance, why make them feel even more insecure by questioning their motives (i.e. "is she going for the sympathy vote?") or by moaning about them expressing their feelings? If you're so wise and fortunate to understand the way the world is, then for God sake show some compassion here and offer the support that is needed. Failing that... Shut up!
Anyway, moving on.. After speaking to Jodie and reading her last blog, I started to feel more and more nervous for her. We have spent so mush time over the last few days, analysing who we think is going to be in the house and how BB will want to portray her. A pointless exercise as we would not know until last night! In the anticipation leading up to yesterday, I wrote Jodie a letter and made her a top to take in, for her to look at on the journey to the house. I bought Jodie a plain T-Shirt and sewed some motifs and images on to it that I know will make her smile. For example, their is a 'capricorn' emblem, her star sign, a cute giraffe, a duck saying 'smile', a flower, and some other cute things. I was aware that no advertising logos would be allowed, but was anxious that Jodie should have something to offer her comfort, something personal. She loved the T-shirt, and saved the letter for the final moments. Just before she went in she sent me a text saying:
'Babe I have just read ur letter and I can't speak cos I'm sobbing. I love you so mush. Thank U 4 everything. U R the best ever x x x'.
So then I started to sob! I basically said in the note how proud I was and how well I knew she would do, regardless of the minority who can't help but love to be nasty. I know how difficult it is for Jodie going into the house at the moment. Aside from the stresses of moving house etc etc, she is also facing the heartache of the anniversary of Kim's birthday, and her death. Jodie wrote about this on the website only recently. See, some people claim that Jodie uses Kim for sympathy and publicity, I can't even explain how sick that makes me feel. I'm sure anyone who has experienced a similar tragedy can understand the length of time it takes to deal with this sort of thing. Monday (Kim's birthday) is a difficult day not just for Jodie, but all of Kim's family and friends, but so are the days and weeks leading up to it. The emotion you feel on the day is overwhelming and you feel nervous of how you will deal with it and behave. Imagine how nervous Jodie must feel, worrying how she will deal with this in the house. I said to Jodie in the letter that I know Kim would be proud of her and will be smiling and laughing if she is watching her now. I also told her not to feel alone if she feels sad, as I and many others will be feeling sad too and I know I will be thinking of her. So that was the letter, and now she's in the house, and I still feel nervous!
It's midnight, I'm watching live on E4, Jodie is drinking wine... oh dear! She hates wine... She's drunk! Dennis Rodman and Pete have been moaning about Jodie being emotional. See, now she's going to explain to him what it's all about. I know this girl too well! I'm probably going to cry now.
I think, seeing her inside the house now, I can try and get a better assessment of how she's feeling, I think on first entering the house, her immediate reactions were: "who are some of these people?" I think she could probably clock Chantelle quite easily, but will be too polite to question her! I absolutely cracked up at the end of the first show, Jodie's face was a picture as I watched her speaking to Pete about his fur jacket, I think she could have been sick on him! I know I would have been! I think she needs to be careful of that one. He seems quite offended about Jodie expressing her emotions, he's been in the business a lot longer than her and should perhaps try and offer support rather than trying to trivialise the way she feels.
Jodie is now telling Dennis Rodman about Kim, I wish I could give her a hug. They've edited out what she is saying, but I know that's what she's talking about.
From a non-celebrity perspective, I think Jodie gets an unfair amount of negative press. Many people's response would be that, being a celebrity, she opens herself up for public scrutiny, and people have the right to believe what they want. Secondly, people will say (again, I quote Pete Burns here): "if you're going to get your tits out then what do you expect?" Well, maybe these people have some fair points, but what is beyond me is that regardless of whether this is Jodie, or any other celebrity for that matter, why do people ahve to be so scathing and nasty in what they say? And I know what many of the critics are saying to themselves now: "but Jodie says scathing things about other people? Isn't she just the same then?" Well frankly, no. Call me biased if you must, but Jodie has never attacked anybody who hasn't publicly abused her first. So, does that mean it's ok to say something nasty about someone just because 'they started it'? Well, generally no, but surely we can forgive someone who is trying to stand up for themselves, and surely we can see the logic that, had that person not been so vile originally, they would have invited no reply. Personally, I don't believe any celebrity that scathes other people really does so, other than to defend themselves against the onslaught of hideous criticism (generally started by the press). So, in summary, yes, maybe Jodie is feeling vulnerable and affected at the moment about negative comments made about her, but for God sake, she's a genuine person, she's loving and caring and honest and wants to succeed. Lets just love her for that.
Pete Burns is really p**sing me off. And he's smoked loads of Jodie's cigarettes as she's just pointed out. He'll live to regret that.
If I'm not careful, before I know it, I'm goiong to have been sitting in my pyjama's on my sofa for three weeks, giving you a running commentary! So I'm going to bring this to a close! I've watched Jodie write so many blogs and wondered how she can be bothered to write so mush. But it really is addictive once you get started!
So to finish, 1st day assessment:
Loving Preston, loving Rula, loving Traci, quite like Maggot, Chantelle isn't doing too bad (although Preston has revealed that he thinks Chantelle is lying - hee hee!).Not over keen on Dennis, not liking Faria, Pete, George and the Jury's out on Michael, I think him and Jodie could get on well, but watch that space I guess.
So with that, I'm off to bed! Hope all you guys are well and enjoying the show. Remember to vote Jodie, she deserves it.
Night night.
Lauren xxxxxxxxxxx
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