28th October 2005 - The one about buying a house and watching Eminem shag

GUESS WHAT PEOPLE????

I've mentioned before that I've just bought a house in the deepest darkest countryside in Essex. The house itself is attached to another house, but apart from that, there are no other houses around so therefore no neighbours. The two houses just sit in the middle of acres of land and forests. I've bought the one on the left and the one on the right has been on the market still. Until today that is. My good mate Dave Morgan has just bought it! I'm so happy! I was dreading having a hideous neighbour move in or even a nice sweet couple that wouldn't have been able to cope with the parties I intend having there. Even forgetting parties, I'm gonna have a stack of people coming and going. Lauren, Sarah, Jordan, Russ and Kyle will all have a set of keys and Lewis will be practically living there. On top of that, there's the 5 dogs. Four yapping chihuahuas and a bulldog. Marsh Manors at the moment is full to the brim of all my mates and there's never a dull, or even quiet, moment - and it belongs to my mum and dad! Can you imagine the carnage of having a big house in the countryside with no parents around?! ha ha. Not that we tone it down for Marge and Parge. They love it, the old hippies! Back in the day, they were as outrageous as I am now and they love nothing more than a house full of people. Anyway, I'm very excited and extremely happy that Dave and I are gonna own two halves of the most beautiful house in Essex! Plus it'll be like having my own minder there 24/7. Dave's an ex copper, now a fireman and he's huge! He's done a bit of bodyguarding for me before so I'm in safe hands. Another added bonus is that we've both got motorbikes so we'll be able to go out riding together whenever we fancy it. We've both got a garage each on the land so we're gonna have a tarmac strip laid up each driveway (the driveway's are gravel) to get our bikes in and out easily. Lewis, too has a bike so he'll probably store his at mine aswell.

Anyway, just wanted to share that cos I'm soooooooo excited. I should be moved in, in the next few weeks and Dave shortly after that. It's a dream come true for both of us!

Last night, when I finished writing my blog, we went over to my flat and watched House of Wax on dvd. Lewis chose it cos it contained a token strip scene from Paris Hilton. It actually was a really good film and we all enjoyed it but just to even up the perving, we whacked the shagging scene from 8 Mile on afterwards so that the girls could go to sleep dreaming of being pinned up against a wall by Eminem. Just after Lewis and I got in bed (in one of the haunted rooms), we heard Jordan and Russ coming home. In the dark, we slipped over to the window and banged on it really hard while they were stood on the drive. We heard them both scream like girls then run into the house giggling, by which time, Lewis and I were back in bed pretending to be asleep. Ten seconds later, our bedroom door flew open and Jordan flicked the light on. He wasn't fooled though and shouted "Stop pretending to be asleep" while pulling the covers off us. We burst into laughter at that and spent the next hour sitting up in the haunted room with a drunk Russ n' Jordan chatting about why plasterers do ceilings on stilts instead of using a ladder and wondering if they have to do their training in a circus?! We came to the conclusion that they must drink in a place near us called The Circus Tavern and that they get plastered every time they go there. Sad jokes I know, but we found it all highly amusing at 2am this morning.

Have just seen today's Daily Sport and come to the conclusion that it's actually the best and sanest newspaper out of all. It's the only one to have printed that Callum Best can't be that bothered about his dad being on death's door as he was out partying while George was dying (see previous blog - Reveal party). All the others are saying how devastated Callum is and giving him the sympathy vote. I'm not saying I agree with anyone in particular but The Sport are the only ones to point the facts out. Plus, they have run a really nice piece (and very sexy picture) about me from the other night. They've finally named Lewis as my new bloke and printed what I've been saying for ages, that I'll never go out with celebrity men again and that builders are the way forward. There aren't any vicious lies in there and they aren't being nasty - they're merely pointing out the facts. Good on you Nicky (my lush up4it mate). She felt Lewis's muscles the other night so when she says in todays paper that he's "hunky" - she means it! ha ha. Thanks babe!

Would like to take this opportunity to say that Sky News are hideously wrong on their website. At the moment they have a story about me wearing too mush fake tan. I DO NOT WEAR FAKE TAN. Never have, never will. I hate the stuff. The reason I'm so tanned is that; I have naturally dark olive skin - my grandma was French, I've been working abroad all year topping up the tan as mush as I could and, since I've been back in the UK, I've had 2 sunbeds. Not great I know but it's my body and I'll live with the sun-ruined skin later. I love being featured on the Sky website cos generally they are nice about me or if they're being horrid, they do it tongue-in-cheek in a saucy way but this time, they're very very wrong and it's not on. Please people, get your facts right! According to the crap and vile NOW mag, my hair is falling out too, from excessive use of extensions. Again, NOT TRUE. When are people gonna be nice or true, I ask you? They were supposed to print an apology the following week but they didn't. I might sue them. I'd get a nice little pay day if I did. Never mind, just take it from me, if you're being lied to, I'll tell you about it. No point spending your money on something that's making up stories just to shift copies. Might as well buy a decent mag that gives you all the real gossip OR just read my blog for the best and most real celeb gossip in town. AND - it's free! Joy! You read it here first people.........

Anyway, I'm off now - go buy the Sport if you want some decent gossip AND sexy pictures cos they keep it more real then anyone! The Star have run some pictures today that are supposed to be of Abi Titface. Unfortunately (or actually, probably for the best) they are not of her at all. They are of some random blonde skinny girl (that's actually what made me and Lauren realise it's not her in the first place). Comedy though. I love pointing out their faults. That, people is journalism at it's worst, when they can't even get a picture of somebody right! ha ha. Fools.

Chat later everyone, I'm off to get some munch and find something to wear for Dave's Party tonight. Might actually wear clothes for a change.

xxxx