Right.... That's it!!! The decision has been made. The whole Marsh family are moving abroad. Not right now but in the near future we are going to sell everything and buy a couple of villas and a bar to run between us. We had a family meeting last night and it was agreed that none of us are truly happy living in this country. The good things in our lives are each other, our friends and the dogs (who can all move with us!). I mean, the people here (well most of the ones we see on a daily basis) aren't that friendly, I hate our government (but I won't go into that now), our justice system may as well not exist (you only get 7 years for murder these days!), I pay far too mush tax and don't see anything for it (I can't even get a sodding GP!) and on top of all this, the weather here sucks!!!!! We get two weeks of summer (if that) and the rest of the time it's grey (to mirror the misery of the people here) and cold and windy and rainy. In fact - why would anyone want to live here?! Ha ha. Seriously though, we have made the group family decision that we will move abroad within the next two years.
I've actually had a really nice day today (before you get worried that this whole blog is going to be one big rant!). It was the Essex Air Ambulance Motorcycle Run. Let me start from last night though.....
So, I went to Sugar Hut with Tony, Carolina and Lauren. It was so packed that you physically couldn't move and it took 20 mins to even get a drink at the bar. Not my favourite type of night out, I have to say. Anyway, I had made the decision in my head earlier yesterday that I would try and forget about the fit barman. I need to move on with my life, otherwise the crying is never going to stop! So, with that in mind I set out to have a good night no matter what and to possibly even snog a bloke to try and take my mind off the barman. No such luck.
Do you think there's a single man in Brentwood MAN enough to take me on?! Er.... 'No' is the answer. Actually I'm placing the blame on the men but it was just as mush my fault for not actually seeing anything that took my fancy! They're all just a little bit too preened for my liking. I need a bit of rough.
So, after an uneventful night, I spotted the really great kisser from the other week (the one that snogged me so passionately I nearly fell over - also the same one I told I was getting married to cos he was messing me about). The great kisser was all over another bird (probably giving her the same chat-up lines he gave me). He didn't see me so I took the opportunity to study him for a few minutes. I decided that he still is as good-looking as I first thought and that he's the closest thing to a real man I'm gonna find in a 100 mile radius. After he'd given up on the bird (she wasn't particularly stunning anyway), he spotted me and said hello. I smiled sweetly and walked away to go to the toilet. When I came back he walked out as if he was going home (well, the lights were on and the doormen were screaming at people to vacate the building). I left about ten minutes later and found him waiting outside the door of the club. Just as I saw him I checked a text on my phone and it was from him saying "don't you say hello anymore?" - I went to say goodbye and he asked if we could talk. I said yes (and whispered in Lauren's ear "just let me do this so I know I can have him if I want him" - life is just one big game after all.
He then tried to snog me about 5 times, each time I turned my face so he kissed my cheek. He ended up kissing my neck all over and trying to turn me on. I let him dribble round me a bit and then pushed him off. He asked me why I'd gone cold on him. I told him I wasn't being cold but that I didn't like messers. He tried to protest his innocence and his annoying brother then comes over and tries to make him leave me alone. The brother wasn't doing it for my benefit - me and him don't get on too well and he resents the fact that I have chemistry with his brother. Anyway, a few words are passed between us and after he's tried to patch things up with me, I say to him "tell me babe, how many birds did you try and pull tonight before getting no where and spotting me?" At that his annoying brother shouts "right we're going - that's enough" and the bloke (who I thought had a bit of get up and go) turns and follows him. I get in the car satisfied that at least he still wants me and start moaning to Lauren and Tony that all men are pricks. Two minutes later he calls me and asks what I'm doing. "Going home" I tell him. We then have a half hour conversation. The gist of it was that he wanted to come over to mine. I told him he could come over for a cuddle (and made it very clear that I wouldn't jump straight into bed with him) and he asked if he could bring his brother (who I really don't get on with). I tell him "no" and that if he comes then he has to come alone. He agrees and says he will get in the next cab. I'm thinking a cuddle to sleep might be just the thing I need to forget about the barman. My heart still feels like it's being stabbed every time I think about him.
Anyway, cut a long story short, the great kisser then texts me a few more times giving me a running commentary on how long the next cab will be. I suddenly get another text from him saying "will you travel?" I text back "what?" - I have no idea what he's talking about. The next text says this: "well, I am in a cab on the way to Maldon now but I really wanna f*ck you so will you come to me in Maldon?" Charming!! Firstly, Maldon is miles and miles away, it's 3.30am and I have to be up at 8am to do the bike run. Secondly, the only time it is appropriate to talk like that is when you are in a serious or very sexy relationship already; NOT when all you've done is have a quick snog with someone!!! I text him back saying "No I won't, it's your loss. You had your chance. Don't ever call me again". When I say I want them rough, I don't mean totally devoid of manners, respect, brains and politeness. Did the stupid bloke honestly think I was going to jump in a cab drunk at 3.30am to travel for miles to go and f*ck him (as he so nicely put it)??? What is up with people?! I'm not a prostitute - have car will travel for sex! Ha ha. What a weirdo. No wonder he hasn't got a bird!
I know I want a man who isn't scared of me (as so many seem to be these days) but that's just taking it to a whole new level. The guy thinks he's some sort of superstud. More shocking is that he actually though I might go to Maldon. I'm really hoping that there are not girls out there stupid enough to do a thing like that for a man. Because the only conclusion I can come to is that girls must have said yes to him before for him to assume that I too would do it. That or he was trying his luck cos he was drunk. Either way, I'm not interested. I'm back to crying over the fit barman!
Why can't all men be more like fit barman?! WHY??!!!! He was perfect in every way! Oh well, I suppose I will just have to stay well away from men for now. Clearly snogging one isn't going to make me feel any better and none of them are worth wasting my saliva on anyway. I know I've said it a thousand times but I really have had it with men. I am just a hair extension away from turning full-on lezza! At least a woman would know how to treat a woman properly.
So, after I had got rid of the great kisser, I got in bed to grab my whole 4 hours sleep before the morning. Another guy who has been asking me out then calls me no less than 8 times. I don't turn my phone off of a night in case of emergency so every time he called I was woken up (well, I say woken up but I woke up just enough to hit the 'silent' button each time). Why oh why will a guy call you all through the night like that?! It drives me totally insane. One of my ex-boyfriends used to do it to me. He would call me every time he got drunk and would call all through the night right up until he passed out at around 5am. Until he started doing that we had remained friends. No matter how many times I told him and asked him and demanded that he stop calling me at 3am, he still carried on doing it. In the end we fell out big time and now we don't speak. I can't cope with it. What on earth could someone possibly want at that time in the morning. And why do they think it's ok to behave like that. It's not ok. Even more annoying is that the guy calling me until 4.30am last night knew full well that I had to be up at 8am today. One way to really piss me off is to call me in the middle of the night. And I don't even care if they're drunk - it's no excuse. Even when I am hammered drunk I wouldn't dream of calling someone up at that time.
Again, I ask you - what is up with people?! I am not a hooker that a guy can phone for sex at 4am. I wouldn't mind but I haven't even slept with them at all. Why they think they can call me all night and pester the life out of me (not to mention keep me awake all night when I'm desperately trying to grab a few hours sleep before work) is totally beyond me. Also, I would think that if you were rude/stupid/ignorant enough to call at 3.30am and then you didn't get an answer, surely you would leave it at that - not KEEP calling (7 more times people!!!) for another hour and a half! Jeeez. It makes me feel like opening a vein in my wrist.
Anyway, after my lovely 3 hours sleep, I got up and got ready and drove myself and Lauren and Tony to Dunton where the bike run started from. It turned out that since I have been away, my tax ran out on my bike. I have got a new tax disc but have somehow lost it. Instead of risking riding without tax, I decided to go on the back of my friend's bike. We rode half the way with me standing up on the footpegs and holding onto his shoulders (you know me, doing anything the normal way is far too boring!). We got to Harwich and I posed for a million pictures, ate a portion of chips with burger sauce, signed a million autographs and then went on stage in front of 5,000 people to introduce my brother and his band. Half way through the first song Jordan lost his voice and they had to play instrumentals for the rest of the set (which was still amazing anyway). Jord hasn't been well lately and it has affected his throat. He's very hoarse and if he sings too hard at the moment his voice just goes. I felt so sorry for him. He was so frustrated! It was brilliant anyway and the crowd loved it.
After raising a stack of money, we left at 6pm and I am now back at home waiting for Linsey Dawn and her hubbie and baby to get here. I'm the most tired person in the whole world. Really I could do with going to bed now but I want to see them too badly! I have to be up at 6.30am again tomorrow to go and do rehearsals for the All Star Talent Show. No rest for the wicked as they say.
Just on the people that did the bike run alone Essex Air Ambulance raised something like £25,000. That's not including all the money made in Harwich from the raffle, selling my signed pictures, the auction and the stalls. A very good day had by all! There were 5,000 bikers on the run and it was powerful!!! The whole way from Dunton to Harwich (we're talking 60 miles!), the streets and roads were lined with people who had gathered to see all the bikes go past. It was amazing!
Just a quick "hello" to the guy on air at Essex FM at 11am this morning when the bike run started. I've been told your name is Chris Skinner. If I'm wrong about that then I'm sorry Chris but whoever you are (on air at around 11am) - you're a sarcastic prick and you don't wanna come face to face with me cos as I told Martin Day earlier - I will vomit in your face! I gave up a whole day today for free to help raise as mush money as possible for charity. The bike run itself was amazing but to be honest, all the rest of it I could have done without. I'm absolutely knackered and struggling to keep my eyes open, yet I still stayed there from 9am til 6pm happily posing for pictures and signing autographs. I gave a load of stuff to sell to raise money, I went on stage twice and drew the raffle for them. I couldn't even eat my portion of chips as there were so many people wanting pictures. I did 6 interviews for papers and magazines to help raise awareness for the Air Ambulance and I am about to collapse (I did all that after 3 hours sleep). You, my friend probably sat on your lazy arse all day and ate a Sunday roast before collapsing in front of the TV after you finished playing at being a credible DJ. Chris Tarrant you ARE NOT. So, I would appreciate in future that if you are going to plug a charity event and I am involved with it, you either keep your mouth shut or say something nice. I don't know you. You don't know me. All you knew today was that I was working for the charity. Yet, you took it upon yourself to be nasty and sarcastic about me. You have issues babe. I don't know why you're so bitter but I'd suggest getting a fit bird or going on a nice holiday might help with your anger. Have a nice week freak........
I'm off now cos Linsey will be here any minute. I can't wait to see her!!! I only feel bad that I've been so busy I haven't had time to buy Luca any presents! I'm sure he won't be too bothered though at the tender age of one! Hope you all had a nice weekend. I didn't - I've been pestered to death by freaks, weird blokes, nasty people and crap radio DJs and I'm still heartbroken over the fit barman. The best thing this weekend has been the bike run! I would really recommend it to any biker!
Oh... and last but not least...... VALENTINO NO 1!!!!!!!!!! Oh yes people, he won in Malaysia today!!!! Mr Rossi does it again. The Doctor rules! Go Vale!!!!!!!!!! GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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